i need help

the young ones are worried about not getting prgnant in the first year, but as being 30 so did i. i never thought my mom would die. alcohol is my demon now, instead of food, and now i want to drown my sorrows. its been 13 days since she passed and i hate life without her. i have a therapist and psychiatrist, and all i want to do is run away to a hospital for some r&r. i know drinking is bad, but i need something to take my pain away. i know it still comes back, but i still need something. i need help. bereavement groups say thati shouldnt be going to them for 3-4 months. i feel the therapist and doc don't have enough time for the amount of pain that i'm in. i would hate to be away from my boyfriend by being in the hospital. going through probate and excutory process, the hospital might not be the best thing. i need some serious advice on what i should do. and everyone that wants to offer condolences, i don't know what to say back, other than if you go stand on the street corner, life still goes by. its sucks and i'm in a crap load of pain, from my heart. there are no magic pills for that. i'm actually sleepy now, so off i go.

Hi Miranda, I am sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom. You said you know that drinking is bad. Make your Mom proud and STOP drinking to sooth the pain. Take time to morn the loss of your Mom. Sending prayers your way, Britt

Miranda, I'm so sorry for your loss. I too lost my mom a couple years ago. We were very close and I never thought I'd be able to get along without her. I would call her every day. And in the days after her passing, I had to physically stop myself from picking up the phone to call her. I was paralyzed emotionally and could not deal with the sorrow when I was the one who needed to deal with selling her house and going through her estate. Her stuff sat in my family room for 3 months before I could bring myself to even touch it to deal with it. Sometimes we all just want to escape. I feel it now from time to time as I deal with the debilitating complications from my excessive weight loss. I'm depressed. I am on anti-depressants. And I have some anti-anxiety pills here as well, for the really hard times. Have you talked to your dr. about getting on some of those? Just to tide you over? I don't understand bereavement groups saying you shouldn't go to them for 3-4 months. My gosh! What are they there for? I think you need someone to talk to now, not just down the road. Do you have a crisis line you could call? I know they offer help immediately. I don't know the reason for your mom's passing, but was she in hospice prior to? If so, they also offer the family greiving and bereavement help. That might be some place to look into as well. Even if she wasn't in hospice, a call to one may get you some resources that could help you. Please keep reaching out. If your docs don't seem interested in helping, get new ones. You shouldn't be going through this alone. I know the pain seems intolerable, but it does get better. If there is any way you can stop the drinking, I would encourage that. Just pour it down the drain. I've struggled with that a few times in my life. And when I feel like just crawling away under a rock, or turning myself into the mental ward at a hospital, I know that drinking is not going to make it any better. So why make it worse on yourself? You've come so far this past year. You can get through this tough time. Keep seeking help. Keep coming here and posting. We are here to listen. Hugs to you.

Miranda, My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry about your mom. But you are in real trouble here. You are the only one that can take the appropriate first step. You need to tell your therapist and your psychiatrist what you are feeling. Together you can make a plan that will be best for you. Good luck to you. Wanda

Miranda, I'm so sorry for your loss. My Mom passed away when I was 29 and I am an only child. We were very very close. The pain is unbearable and the entire world keeps going, while you have stopped. You need help now. I agree with everyone else, let your therapist and your psychiatrist know ASAP, what you are going through. I've never heard of a bereavement group waiting for 3 to 4 months, you need it now, and you need it later. It's been 8 years and I still go to call her on the phone. You are in my prayers.