Depressed!

I will try and not get too descriptive here, but the other night when DH and I were "done," somehow we got on the topic of my loose skin and he told me that it really bothered him... This is a man who would never say that my weight bothered him until I lost it... now he is telling me this...I am so down about it.. I want to have PS, but I want to lose a little more weight still and we have to get out of debt before we can afford it.... I just can't believe that he would say that to me... I was floored when he did, but after looking at my belly when I was laying down I can see what he means.... I suffer from bi-polar anyway and have been dealing with the depression side of it lately and this just crushed me.... To top it all off, I had my "Tastefully Simple" open house on Monday and I have tons of left over food in the house that has been tempting me.... I just wish I dumped..... I have not done good this week needless to day between the depression and the food in the house..... Just to let you know I do see my shrink regularly and have an appointment next week... I just needed to get this out.... Thanks for all the support... HUGS to all, Shawn M.

Shawn! I feel for you! The extra skin stinks ... You don't it notice my in clothes ... but naked is a different story - so I hear you! I would be crushed too! Surely YOU KNOW that the skin is there - but to hear your DH comment on it - unasked for - must have been shocking ((((hugs)))) I think your plan of losing the extra pounds and getting ready financially for PS is smart! I'd tell DH - that his words really - upset - you! As far as your Tastefully simple left overs .... I'd destroy them and toss 'em in the Garbage ... Or tell you family "last call" and what they don't finish - is getting tossed. I don't know how you do it - that stuff is too darn good!!! Thinking of you and sending out PRAYERS! Hugs, Britt

Thanks Britt!!! I am so self conscious about the skin to begin with and usually NEED the lights off.. but that night they were on.. and then he said that... uggghh... what a shocker... from a man that never give his opinion on anything.... The food... well, I just don't have the hear to toss it all.. I spent so much money on the food and the open house in general.. to get toss it all would be like throwing money away to me.. KWIM????? I just keep munching on it though... I don't even want to know what the scale says next week..... Thanks again for the support... I need it right now... Shawn M.

Shawn, First of all, is there some type of shelter near you for all the extra food? Many of those places get plenty of leftover pastries, bread, bagels and stuff like that. I'm sure people staying at a shelter would LOVE that great food! See if you can come up with something like that. I'm SO SORRY your husband said something like that. I am the same way, I would be crushed if mine said something like that. Please let him know how it made you feel and TRY not to dwell on it! I know it is a comment you will never forget but, for your sake and for you condition, please, please try to let it go. I am one of those *****members all the hurtful (real or my perception) comments and can quote them YEARS later. When we do that, it only hurts us. Even a few months from now your husband likely won't even remember saying it. Now, I'm not excusing him. There's no excuse for him making that comment because I daresay, he KNEW it would hurt you. And, if he never made comments about your weight (mine didn't either, thank God), he knew he shouldn't and couldn't without hurting you. WHAT WAS HE THINKING LAST NIGHT? DUH! Maybe he could have kicked himself right then but it was too late!! Let him know! Please, let him know!! Give him a chance to admit he made a BIG MISTAKE! Once those of us *****ally need and choose to have plastic surgery recover, we will be flaunting our new bodies and you can tell your husband you look too good for him now (just teasing!)!!! And, remember, we cannot control what other people say or how they say it but we can control our REACTION! Don't turn that hurt inward and sabotage yourself. I've done it for YEARS and I don't want you to suffer like that. Speak your mind and let it go knowing that your future is BRIGHT and that loose skin's future is the trash can!!!!! CeCe

If it weren't for the fact that DH NEVER tells me what he thinks of me, I would probably call him on it.... But, I don't want to make him go back to that.. I just got him to a place where he feel comfortable telling me what he thinks and what he sees.... I am glad he felt comfortable enough to tell me that, but it made me feel even more self conscious about something that already bothers me..... Now about the food...I am really thinking that I need to get out of the Tastefully Simple Business... Although they do have tons of seasonings and stuff like that which is fine and very good to use for my diet, it is the desserts that I have a tough time with... Normally I don't make that stuff at all, but I had this stupid Open House.. which I will never do again... I spent about $500 or more on it.. and only made about $50.... Money we didn't have to waste with a wedding coming up for my son... grrrrrrrrr... That doesn't help with the depression either... (the money part that is).... I will do my best to try and talk to hubby about it all... I just have a hard time because he NORMALLY lacks an opinion on anything... Thanks for your support... Shawn M.

Most men can be dense. They need you to spell it out for them. TELL him how he hurt you and let him apologize (I'm sure he will!) I'm sure he has no idea what his comment did to you. That doesn't excuse it but if you guys talk about it, you can forgive him and move on. Otherwise you are just going to have it fester within you. As far as the food goes, I'm still eating bad too. I guess I still think I'm on vacation. My DH is gone for the rest of the month so I'm not really giving any pre-thought to my meals. I just open the pantry and grab. I have no problem throwing away anything that is giving me trouble. I'm getting ready to toss Selects Blueberry Morning cereal because I ate 1/4 of the box for my supper. Yuck! Good bye and good ridance you evil high-carb food! The jar of peanut butter may be next! As wonderful as your gourmet food is, it is not worth having it cause you to de-rail. Haave you ever thought of switching companies to sell for? Mary Kay is safe! I can't imagine how difficult depression must be to deal with. My heart goes out to you. I'm sorry you are going through that.

The problem I have with telling him how he hurt me is that he NEVER tells me what he is feeling or how he thinks about anything... I am afraid that if I tell him he hurt me, then he won't be honest with me again and go back to the "yes dear"... "whatever you say dear"... "it is fine dear" mode... KWIM??? He is normally such a panzy.... LOL.... I did do a bit better on my food choices today.... still not where I should be.. but better than I did yesterday... I guess that is what I should strive for right now, to do better each day... I am so afraid that my depression will get to the point it did a few years ago and I will end up in the hospital again... It just can't happen again.... I am still hearing about it from my mom... (How it was so hard on HER and how much SHE had to do for my kids while I was in the hospital)... She just doesn't get it... Anyway.... I struggle daily, but hopefully with the wedding plans and all that will keep things in check a bit.... Thanks for your support... Shawn M.

Shawn.... My heart goes out to you ...I know what it is like to deal with depression. My suggestion would be to sustain sex from him. You show him girl! hahaha He will pretty much inevitably ask what the heck is going on, you can then call him on it. Tell him you wouldn't want to have to gross him out with your lose skin ....geez men. What are we going to do with them! Keep that chin up. At least you are not dealing with being over 9 mo's out of RNY & only loosing 45 lbs. Try that on for size. Imagine the depression here in my life. Good luck to you & I'll keep you in my prayers! Holly

Thanks Holly!!! I fully intend on withholding from him... LOL.... But then I suffer too... KWIM???? I am sorry to hear all that you are going through... I too will keep you in my thoughts and prayers... HUGS, Shawn M.