The Enemy in the Mirror

Yesterday I weighed 180. I was looking forward to being in the 170's today. Because I couldn't control my food I am back up to 180.5! Why, Why, Why do I do this to myself?! I am so in control in other aspects of my life...what is this control that I allow food to have? My work has been hell for the past two weeks...the stress was building...I knew I was headed for trouble...my emotions were fragile...why didn't I intervene in the cycle? I'm just not liking myself very much today.

(((((((((((((((( Wanda )))))))))))))))))) It will get better..... Each day is a new day and we have make the most of it.... That is really hard for me to say right now, with the way that I feel, but we must remember that we did this surgery for our health and that is what is the most important... stay focused on the goal and we will reach it... it may be difficult right now, but it will happen... Someone told me in one post that stress can make us hold onto our weight.... Maybe the key for you is to try and reduce the stress at work if that is possible... That may be your culprit right now.... Good Luck sweetie, I hope you are feeling better soon. Shawn M.

Shawn, there is no way to reduce my stress at work. I run a large nursing home in Florida. Nursing homes are the most heavily regulated entity. We have more regulations than nuclear power plants! Also, Florida nursing homes are sued four times more than the national average. I have 175 employees and I am held personally responsible for each of their actions. And let's not forget all of the family members that think their loved ones should live forever. Mama can be 96 years old and have 15 diagnosis and every system is shutting down but somehow we are suppose to prevent her from dying a natural death. Most days I love my job but there are times when I dream of walking away and becoming a beach bum. Thanks for your words of encouragement. My blues never last long. I am starting to rebound already. By tomorrow I will be back to my normal cheerful self.

I am sorry to hear that your job is so stressfull... God Bless you for doing the job you do... people should be mroe greatful of the job you are doing and realize what a difficult position it is... I am glad you are starting to feel better and it is good that your bad moods don't last that long... I know mine can go on for months at a time, that is why I am on meds... LOL... Let me know how you are tomorrow.. and try and get some extra rest.. maybe that will help.... Shawn M.

Wanda, That is a very stressful job. Maybe you should change jobs. I was a pediatric nurse for 10 years. The stress was awful, it ruined my health, my marriage, and I got up to 320lbs. About 1 year ago I decided I had to change and get out of the stress or I was going to die. I changed jobs, and yes I had to take a paycut but the difference in the stress level is tremendous. I now have a job that compared to the other is stress free. I had surgery 11/06/2006 and have lost 80lbs I feel better then I ever have in my life, I do miss taking care of children but now I have time to take care of my own. My marriage is like it was 18 years ago. I can actually go to work and not feel like I am having a heart attack or a stroke. They keep calling and wanting me back and offering more and more money, but money is not everything. Your job is just that, a job. Your life is everything, your family is everything, your happiness is everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cimberly, I do agree with you. But most days, I enjoy my job. This will probably sound like a major ego trip but I know that if I wasn't there the next person wouldn't try as hard as I do...that the quality of life for resident's who live there would be ittle less. But I still dream of the day that I can leave it behind. I think I can adjust to a less stressful lifestyle in about twenty minutes!