Maybe I'm just nuts...just venting

I dunno...but my mom is always telling random people that I had WLS, well not random but just people that she knows but I don't really know. For me I had no problem telling people that I knew well or that I was around a lot because most of them knew why I was doing it (high blood pressure problems). What really gets me is these people don't even know me and they are saying "Oh, you're too small to have WLS" and before WLS it wouldn't have bothered me but now it really really does. I want to stop them and tell them why is it such a big deal if you haven't walked in my shoes. I want to ask them how they would feel if they couldn't play with their kids because of weight or if they had to worry about where they could/couldn't sit because they were afraid of breaking chairs or if they had to think about not being around to see their kids grow up because they were already experiencing problems from being MO. I dunno...is this only me? I did this because I want to be around for my children, because I want to play basketball with my older son, because I want to be a good example for them, because I want to be here for them...because I love them. Is that such a bad thing? Yes, I know I'm young, yes I know I'm not as large as some other folks were, yes I know that most of them think that this is the easy way out...but it really wasn't easy...and I'm not complaining because I chose to go through it but am I the only one who feels this way?? Sorry...maybe I'm just being emotional but I was just so amazed by these people and what they said sometimes. Just needed to vent...thanks girls! Dana

Dana, People always love to give unsolicited advice even though they haven't a single clue what/who they are talking about. If your surgeon was willing to do WLS for you then it isn't a matter of if you weren't big enough...obviously you were. And heck no it isn't the easy way out. This is a major life change for all of us and it's freaking hard some days!!!! Anyway, just smile at those folks and tell them you would change a thing, then walk away. It's not worth trying to explain to them all of the reasons you needed this surgery. You're doing great!! Corinna Q

Corinna... You're so right about people and them giving unsolicted advice. It's so strange being in the spotlight though, I just want to be left alone. My psych says that it's a part of life and that soon people will get tired of it and my 5 minutes in the limelight will be over...lol. It's just weird...I've spent so much time trying to stay invisible before this surgery and now people are seeking me out to ask things or give me their advice (that I mostly really don't need...not unless they are a post-op trying to provide support). It is hard some days...mostly it's been mentally hard for me. I find myself kinda withdrawn most of the time...I guess it'll get better soon though...I know the hormones and emotions are kinda going haywire right now. Thanks! Dana

Tell you mother to stop. It's no one's business but your own. Make her understand that you would rather to keep your health situation to yourself.

I totally understand where you are coming from... when I was still in the hospital, there were people "commenting" about the type of surgery I had! For example, the physical therapist came in to show me the "band exercise thingy" and she kept asking me if I was sure I did the right thing... saying "you just don't look like the typical bariatric patient" and stuff like that! Then there was a nurse who said something too but now I forget exactly what it was... it was along the lines of I was wasting everyone's time because I probably didn't "really" need a surgery like this when so many others do... it wasn't that obvious when she said it, it was more like an insinuation on her part (but I knew what she meant - and I know how it made me feel!) Anyway, all I really wanted to say was YES - it is extremely frustrating! I'm not sure there's one good response for everyone, what are you supposed to say? Sorry I'm not bigger? WE know why we did this... and obviously we qualified for it, so it's a shame when people feel they have to question it. It's easier said than done, but you owe 0 explanations...! Marilyn

Marilyn... It was strange in the hospital...lol...the nurses kept saying that I was the youngest patient they took care of even though my doctor said that I wasn't the youngest person he's done the surgery on. Then when I told my physical trainer that I wasn't going to be able to come in for a month, he gave me a 30 minute talk trying to do everything in the book to stop me from doing it. It was very frustrating. Lol...I should tell them folks who keep saying that I wasn't large enough "sorry I wasn't bigger." That would be a little funny. My friend says to ask them when I should have gotten the surgery? When I needed to be wheelchair bound with oxygen. I just feel scrutinized...ya know? It's weird being under a microscope with someone always leaning over my shoulder asking "should you be eating that" or "you're eating too much". It's already a chore eating...and now with these folks hanging over me it makes it THAT much harder. But you're right...I don't owe an explination to anyone...but it's so hard to not say anything either. *sigh* I guess it'll be old soon and they'll just leave me alone. I hope.

Okay, so I didn't get a lot of "your not big enoughs" although there were a few of them. My biggest problem is that my sister had it before me.... so everyone is like. your just doing it because your sister did, like i am jealous that she is skinny and i am not.... NOT I had Diabetes High Blood Pressure Hypo-thyroid Sleep Apnea Joint and Hip Pain My sister Hypo-thyroid Joint and Hip pain and I get really tired of people talking about the surgery like the focus and goal is how skinny and hot I am going to be... guess what, skinny people are fugly too. so what they gonna say to me when I get skinny and am butt ugly? sorry we were wrong? and finally, I am tired of the comparison chart between us. My sister lost 40 lbs her first month, me I am stuck at 18lbs and 3 weeks out, doubt I am going to drop 12 lbs in 7 days. Does that make me less? because she lost more right away. I love my sister but I am NOT her shadow. I wish people would realize that. I wish she would realize that. Tairie