I've done a bad thing...

I was prescribed Lexapro 20mg starting in September 2003. Ever since my surgery, I've had a problem getting my tablets down. Less than 2 weeks post-op, I had one get stuck and had my first crisis of WLS. Since then, I've been very anxious about taking them. Even broken in half, they still make me nervous. So, about a month ago, I stopped taking them. This is my first confession of this fact. My psychologist doesn't know, my PCP doesn't know, my surgeon doesn't know and finally, my husband doesn't know. The truly sad part of this is I cannot stand the person that I am now that I'm not taking it. I'm angry, aggressive, impatient, etc. All around, I'm not a nice person... Through this "exercise", I have learned that I am truly ill and lacking mechanisms to cope daily in a manner that is acceptable in polite society. I think we all strive to be nice people and I realize that I am not. This makes me so sad. So, here I sit with my Lexapro tablet, broken in two pieces sitting in front of me trying to manage and accept that this is the only way I will be near "normal." I hate that this is my only choice... Thanks for listening. Blessings, Jennifer 253 / 187 / ???

When I was Diabetic, I stopped taking medicine because it made me sick. The doctor who had prescribed it said the only alternative was insulin. When I finally talked to another doctor about it, he said there were many options, that would not make me sick. So, I think you should contact someone in the medical profession, if you are uncomfortable speaking to your current Doctors, talk to someone. There may be an alternative that has not been adressed.

Joyce; The Lexapro doesn't make me sick, I've just been scared to take it because of having gotten it stuck early on post-op. That being said, I've never had it get stuck since the day after that when I started breaking them in half. I just let my anxiety become the ruling factor. Which is why I was on Lexapro in the first place...to manage anxieties. Before my surgery, my PCP had written my script for 2x10mg pills because of my upcoming WLS, but our prescription plan refused to fill it that way. I didn't fight them because I was still pre-op and didn't really know it would be a problem. We'll go around again the next time my script is filled and I should be able to get them to fill as written this time based on my intake restrictions. Blessings, Jennifer

I'm assuming you can't cru**** Can you melt it in ho****er? Can you break it into 4th's? I feel so bad for you. Maybe you should talk to your Dr's. Remember, you were less than 2 weeks post op. That means your pouch, and everything the surgeon touched was still swollen and aggravated. It may be a lot easier now. I hope you find a solution. I hope you feel better. God Bless you... Dawn 315.5/231/??

Dawn; It doesn't crush because of the coating. I tried that the day after I had the one get stuck. It will break in two pieces fairly clean and easy, so that's what I was doing before I got the brilliant idea about a month ago that I didn't need it. I could try breaking it into 1/4s. I hadn't thought of that before. (Too close to the forest to see the trees I guess...) Thanks for your kind words. Blessings, Jennifer

Hi Jennifer, There is NOTHING wrong with having to take a medication. I live by the philosophy that everyone appears "normal" -- until you get to know them. Each and every one of us has issues to deal with and they are all equally important. Please take the medication that you need and your health-related quality of life will benefit! Jenny

Jenny; Thanks. I guess my problem is I don't appear normal to anyone right now. Today was the first step by realizing that I can't get by without and starting to take it again. Blessings, Jennifer

Hey Jennifer, I am really glad you finally broke down and told someone. One of the hardest things in the world to do is say "hey guess what I screwed up". It is excellent that you realise that you need the medication..... there are many people who just wouldn't take it and expect the whole world to just "learn to deal" with their inappropriate behavior. Although, I am wondering why you say you are "trying to manage and accept that this is the only way I will be near "normal." I am not sure what you think "normal" is, but in your posts and replys you have seemed pretty OK to me. The world is full of people, on medication for a million diffrent things, am I not normal because I have PCOS and take Glucophage? I doubt you would say so. Get back on your meds, relax and cut yourself some slack. **hugs** Janet

Janet; Thanks for your kind words. I guess because I was able to have surgery to fix how my body metabolizes and processes food to help me become a more "normal" weight, I was hoping that everything about me would become right as a result of WLS. How's that for projecting? I was literally sitting at my desk in tears as I wrote my initial post. I did take a dose for today and based on my behavior of the past few weeks realize that it will just have to remain part of my every day routine along with all the new routines of vitamins and supplements. Blessings, Jennifer

Jennifer, I too thought that WLS would cure all kinds of things that just aren't going to change because I weigh less. I still have to take thyroid medication to regulate my metabolism, and probably will for the rest of my life. I'm still thankful for my increased health and energy that has been the result of losing 80 pounds so far! FYI: I just came off antibiotics and those pills were pretty big, but I had no problems with taking them or getting them stuck! My first month post op I was so careful with stuff like that, but now my pounch and parts seems to be able to handle things much better. Take care, Tammy