Today's post-op challenge: family birthday dinner at a Cuban Restaurant

Hi everyone-- I'm almost a week after surgery (tomorrow morning will be my week-iversary), and doing great physically. Emotionally I'm struggling a little bit just because I'm a little grumpy and tired, and a lot tired of eating Cream of Wheat every different way I can think of. (Which is amazing given that when I got out of the hospital last Thursday afternoon, I thought Cream of Wheat hung the moon!) I found the pain meds gave me lots of energy for some reason, but I'm not really hurting, so I have largely weaned myself off them now. So the exuberant me that came home from the hospital and did several loads of laundry, etc., has now been replaced by the me that does 1 load, and takes my daughter to school and back and is pretty exhausted by that. Of course my husband liked the other me better. I miss the nurses who tell you how well you're doing, and encourage you to keep trying to do the things you struggle with. Instead now at home, I have the man for whom nothing seems to be good enough. Oh and he wants to know what I'm doing wrong that I haven't lost a lot of weight yet. Can you tell I'm mad at him? We just had an argument. His Aunt's birthday is Friday, and we always go out to dinner as a (small) extended family for birthdays. The birthday girl (or guy) picks the place. He just told me that his aunt has picked Havana, a wonderful Cuban restaurant in nearby Walnut Creek. And I asked "Does that restaurant have anything I can eat?" And he acted like I am the biggest selfish prima-donna in the whole world for even wondering whether I'll have to sit through an entire family meal and not be able to eat anything. I just wanted him to care as much about me as, well, never mind. I'm not trying to cause trouble, I swear. But I don't want to go and sit and watch everybody eat. I already had to do that on Halloween Night (the night before my surgery, when I was on clear liquids only), and everyone was shoveling food in and looking at me like "oh, well, bummer for you." It was very very NOT fun. So anyway, my husband has now stomped off to the store, and I just checked the menu of the restaurant, and there really is nothing I can have (I'm on full liquids, and Friday will probably be progressed to purees). There are two soups: Mango gazpacho (sorry, I can't stand mangoes) and black bean soup (which I've had before, and it's really heavy on the whole beans, which I can't have, not to mention the gas potential is more than I'm ready for a little over a week after surgery). I'm thinking of calling the restaurant ahead of time and letting them know that I'm on a special diet, but coming for a family celebration and asking if I can bring my own soup? Do you guys think that would be weird/out of line? I want to be there with everyone, but I don't want to be miserable and left out. Plus it kind of makes me feel like **** that no one seems to give a rip about this. I mean, we cater to my husband's sister, who doesn't eat beef, and to other people's choices, I don't understand why not me. Thanks for listening, Chandra Laparoscopic RNY on 11-1-2005 Usual pre-surgery weight: 246 Surgery day: 253 (who knew there was that much sodium in beef broth??) Today: 243

Call them and explain, then ask if they can make you something within your special limitations. Most places will do this as you will be there with a large number of people and they want the repeat business. Starla

Hey CC.. what you are describing is the usual post op symdrome... you just went through a MAJOR surgery and your body has to deal with that, the stress of the surgery, the changes in your diet and anesthesia.. It is quite normal to be blah for a week or two... rest and drink and do what you can, especially be kind to yourself and nap when you need it. I was done on last Friday and am slowly getting back to the usual me. I get up, do a few things, rest, do some more, watch TV, referee the kids and go to bed.... exciting life, huh?? But eveyday I have a little more get up and go and feel a little more human... you will, too. I was allowed to advance my diet as tolerated to puree.. and the jello and broths went away.. I can't hadly stand to look at the cans..lol. EWWWW. Glad that is over! As far as the resturaunt, call them and ask about bringing your own soup. Tell them you are post-op but wish to spend family time... I would think that they would allow you to do that, with permission as there are a number in your family paying for meals. Don't let anyone tell you what to eat or what to do... this is your life and your second chance... take control of it! I know you can!! Jacki K from PA