Paranoid...

I'm in freak control mode, pre-measured portions, I do not eat out because they aren't measured, if I can't see the nutritional chart I won't touch it. I preplan my days food alotments based on total calories. I'm holding at around 800 calories, but I know I can eat more. I was at a plateau a few weeks back and at that time was counting fluid intake and protein, not calories. So when I went back and totalled the calories in my food/exercise journal it was around 1000-1200 calories. So I started tracking calories in my journal too, I have 4 columns. Food, fluid ounces, grams of protein, calories. I work it out each day that the calories are around 700 with the protein being atleast 60, usually more, then if I have an extra snack its still around 800 cal for the day. Am I over paranoid....not being realistic? I live alone, I work 2 jobs, I exercise everyday, I work 3rd shift by myself, no kids, no significant other. If I had a family and was more social I do not think I'd have the control I have now, but I figure if I can control it as long as possible and lose to goal then later I can learn social eating behaviors.... I'm afraid I won't lose to goal and won't get this horrid skin removed....I want to be finished with this and start my life. I know its only been 6 1/2 mnths and I'm doing great but we all want more. Just venting, I posted to the main board and got 2 responses and not what I was looking for. Lately I've been having Carb and Sugar Alcohol questions. Since no one responded I decided to stick with my original magic numbers, less than 10 carbs per serving, less than 5 sugar alcohols, less than 7 regular sugars, less than 5 fats...and not play around with protein bars with there "glycerins" that they omit from the ingredients but use as a number to make the net carbs less. Mic

Hiya Mic, I have a few questions for you, if you dont mind.... How tall are you? What is your goal weight? How much more do you have to lose? What kind of exercise do you do and for how long? I only had 100 lbs to lose and I am 13 lbs from goal so maybe I am at a different perspective but I think I can understand how you feel. I know we all want to continue on this wonderful quick weight loss that we have experienced but I think that at this point we are, or should be eating more "normal" portion sizes (and more normal foods) and the weight loss should continue to slow down, but it should continue. (I remember the first two months out of surgery losing a lb or more per day - now if it is a lb or more per week I am lucky!) But the thing is that we ARE only 6 - 7 months out so we WILL continue to lose weight if we are carefull of WHAT we eat - like the low calorie low fat foods you speak of. The biggest thing that concerns me about what you wrote is this "freak control mode" you talk about. Do you think that you will be able to stop this control mode when you are closer to goal? Do you think that perhaps anorexia or bulimea might be a result? I hope you do not take this the wrong way. I am concerned about you and it appears that you have concerns about what you are doing or you probably wouldnt have posted what you did. I think what might help is putting it all in perspective. I know we all want to be at goal yesterday but that is not reality. You might want to spend some time looking at profiles of people that were near your starting weight and your height who had similar goals, and seeing how long it took them to get to goal and what they did to get there - plus with the excess skin, you probably wont be able to lose all the weight to get to goal without the plastic surgery because from what I understand that excess skin can weigh a lot. I hope you do not take offense to anyhing I have said here - I mean no offense. About your Carb and Sugar Alcohol questions - I have some magic numbers that I use also - I try to keep carbs under 10 per meal and sugars under 2. I have not been watchng fats or calories closely but I do need to start that I think. Why do you want less than 5 sugar alcohols and what about the glycerins - I guess I am not up on these two things necessarily A lot of my foods have higher sugar alcohols because they are sugar free - I know what this can do to our "output" but are there other concerns about sugar alcohols? God bless you and keep you, ~Andrea

- height 5'8 - goal weight per BMI caculator is 150-160 - I need to lose about 60 pounds to reach that goal (I'm -113) (so where as you needed to lose 100 pounds total I need to lose 170ish total) - I either walk atleast 3 miles outside for 1 to 1 & 1/2 hours or ride my stationary bike on crosstrain mode for an hour. At this point I do not feel I will go to the extreme of anorexia/bulemia, I am just afraid if I introduce new foods or up the calorie count to allow more foods that I will keep increasing it and end up where I was before. The problem may be that I do not know if I dump, I have not dumped, nor have I tested or cheated on anything to find out if I dump. I am afraid that like some people, I won't be affected by sugar in larger quantities and it therefore will remove that whole concept of the "tool". I have not ever thrown up or gotten anything stuck. I have been blessed with a better than average experience compaired to the tons of profiles I read. Maybe I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop.....just so sure something will go wrong any time now. As for the sugar alcohols and glycerins the whole idea of them bothers me. They are "sugars" so they are bad is what my mind says. And if I eat sugar free candies with sugar alcohols then I am cheating, or substituting one vice for another. I understand the concept of the reason they say to eat sugar alcohols in moderation due to the laxative affect it may have on some people. I just am stuck on the fact that they are still sugars under a different name and we are supposed to be avoiding them. Its a hang up with me I guess. Not one that will scar me for life, I'm sure. As for glycerins, they too are another name for sugar. I did find a logic explaination of carbs, sugar alcs, and glycerines as related to protein bars here: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/carbs.htm But I can still tell ya I don't like them, sugar bad! I agree therapy may be a real option for me soon, but thanks for listening and responding. Mic

Hi Mic, It sounds like you are doing really good. I don't feel like you are being paranoid at this point just being concious of what you are taking in. My doctor and nutritionist told me to have around 900 - 1100 calories a day with at least 50 grams of protein approx. 40 - 60 grams of good carbs (no more than that) and under 20 grams of fat. I was told the days I do a lot of exercise to make sure I up the calories to the 1000 area because the body needs the extra energy. I am not sure what to tell you on the sugar alcohols as they do not bother me at all but I know some people dump on them depending on how many grams they have. I do know that I avoid regular sugar because I dump big time on those. Those are numbers you need to play with to see what your body can handle. Just keep normal sugar down as those are the bad ones but see about the sugar alcohols for yourself. Some people also dump on high amounts of fat at one sitting so as long as your daily intake is not too bad you should be fine. If you have any other questions feel free to email me and I will see what I can do for you. Heidi 267/170?/147

Michelle - I'm a little concerned - the total calories seems a little low - given the amount of exercise. I won't advise you on this - as I am no expert... My personal perspective is that I don't want to exchange & unhealthy life for a new unhealthy life - so for me... I eat out - but I choose well - though there has been the day when I really wanted a hot dog - so I had one - one not my presurgery three - I keep my calories at about 1100 - 1400 - recommended by my doc at this point in recovery - Which means I may be loosing a little slower & some days this is a little frustrating - but I think it also gives me a chance to wrap my mind around this whole thing & I also seem to have a little less loose flesh - so maybe it's giving my body a chance to wrap itself around it as well. Goodness knows there have been & still are some baaaaaad days - I've been weak a few times, thrown up a few times, had the same meal as I've had before with very different consequences & wondered what the heck!? Had days when i don't feel like eating etc. etc. etc. So I guess - it's a personal place we're at... what may be right for me may not be at all correct for you - I think the main point - for me at least is to be healthy - mind and body - and to not rush the journey... Even if I didn't loose another pound from today - This is the BEST I have felt in years... And that for me is a huge success! Many good thoughts, Pam.

Michelle, You sound like you want honest responses - so in response to that here goes. I say this with love... I have rewritten this a 100 times and don't want to sound harsh but want you to think about a couple of things...and remember this is coming from one who is travelling the same road as you....and dealing with the same issues.....so I say this also to myself as much as I do to you. I understand you have the time to be this obsessive about your intake... but do you really want to be????.... It seems to me that you have traded one kind of obsession for another... .instead of eating all the time or way too much.... you are spending that time planning, eating, recording, analyzing....you are still spending an enormous amount of time and energy around food.... The other statements you make that really conern me are 1. ....."I want to be finished with this and start my life" - what will be so different when you reach goal? This sounds like a set-up situation to me.....there are two possible outcomes that scare me about this. What if you never reach that "goal"???? Most weight loss surgery patients lose about 50 - 75% of their excess weight (notice losing 100% and maintaining that loss is the exception, not the rule). What if you DO reach goal??? What will have changed in your life that suddenly you will be able to start a life. I have worked 3rd shift before and as a single person - that in itself is very, very isolating....My fear is that you will wake up with or without reaching goal and realize that nothing much has changed except the numbers on a scale??!!!! 2. ......."then later I can learn social eating behaviors". Your life is happening now.... why not start learning those behaviors now when you are still in weight loss mode and the consequences are a little less since you aren't absorbing as much as you will soon... I think that is one of the goals of surgery that you learn during this phase so that you have well established habits when you enter "maintenance" phase. I know for me that deprivation or diets do end one day and usually with a massive binge... I applaud you for your efforts and your diligence - but don't let your life slip away while you pursue some arbitrary "goal". My doctor kindly pointed out to me that one of his most successful patients...lost the weight, had made goal, and wa**** by a truck.... she comes up in his statistics, but her death, although tragic, had nothing to do with WLS. If she had waited to live her life joyfully ..... how sad would that be.... Holding you in my heart and in my prayers... B

Hi there Mic, Congrats on all your good work. I have found (and this is only me) that if I get TOO compulsive I'll crash and burn. I am trying to find a comfortable way of life where I can relax in my relationship with food and live a healthy lifestyle. The gift now is that the restriction keeps my appetite low and portions small...particular if I keep carbs below 40 a day as recommended by my docs and stay away from white carbs entirely. I have also been having fun with exercise. Re sugar alcohols...my docs say in their manual " Sugar alchohols are slightly better than sugar as they will cause less of a spike in your blood sugar, but they are still calories you absorb. The manufacturers try to claim they do not count, but they do." Try and find balance and moderation...I think it will serve you well in the long run. I am single and live alone too...if you need a friend, give a holler. Jo

First I want say to B that was just beautifully written. I loved it. I agreed with you completely. Second, I don't what the correct numbers are. Not for me or anyone else for that matter. I don't count carbs, calories, fats or sugars. I try to maintain a low carb, low fat diet. I don't eat sugar at all. The only reason I watch the sugar alcohols is because too much make me sick. So I don't eat much of any sweets. Food high in fats also make me sick so I try not to eat greasy, fatty foods. I don't drink carbonated beverages, I eat very little bread and when I do I try to make it whole wheat,,but again, very little. I eat only whole wheat pasta and not much of that either. I don't drink any where as much water as I should but that has always been a problem for me, my whole life. I don't necessarily count the carbs at the end of the day I try to eat more protein items and less carbs. If I had to start counting everything I my as well stayed at Weigh****chers which although is a very healthy diet plan it didn't work for me.I take my vitamins everyday. I try to get to the gym 3 or 4 times a week. I try to do things differently such as parking further away so I get more walking in. Everything is about choices we make. I try to make better ones. I wish you all the success in the world. But B said it perfectly, this is your life now, enjoy it. Oh by the way, I haven't lost as much as some, but I've lost 74 lbs since surgery. I haven't felt this healthy in 20 yrs. I'm loving life and get around so much better. I can breathe again which is always a plus. God Bless, ~Angel 255/222/148/118

Hi Michelle, I must say that I think My daily regimen is closest to Angels....I really don't count anything per say...with 2 kids and a busy job I would find that WAY to difficult.... I do watch my carbs, eat high protien. NO sugars at all.....I also am to afraud of the dumping. I also have a difficult time with breads and pastas so I have a very liitle on a rare occasion. The sugar alcohol also makes me very gassy and crampy if I eat too much. So for me I think I've done well.....What I do "works" for me... I also have a hard time eating 3 meals a day..I do much better eating 4-5 small mini meals I like to call them. Best wishes and Good luck!!! Karry 311/185/167 goal