Has anyone experienced this?

This is the first time I am posting, I had my surgery November 14, I have lost 90 lbs as of today. I feel great!! a little tired. But there is one person in my life that wants to still hurt me and call me fat. I don't understand it? I have worked so hard not to be called that anymore and this person says it to me when we get in arguments. I act like it does not hurt me. but it really does. This person is my 18 year old daughter. I feel like if she does not respect me. I don't want her around. I don't know maybe I should not take it to heart. You think everything I have been through this would not bother me. Just wondered if anyone had this problem?

Boy.....oh boy......that child knows how to control.....and it must work....your upset. Act like you could care less.....best you stay away from that bad behavior.....you need positive stuff....not that negative stuff. My opinion. Sandy

Thanks for the advice. Your right I don't need that stuff in my life. I am probable just feeling really sensitive because it's that time of the month for me. I just don't know why people have to be so cruel. Thanks for the encouagement. sometimes things in your life don't change because you loose weight. Everyone else has been really positive.

Hi Marie, First I'd like to say Congrats on the weight loss so far! Good for you! As for your daughter, well. I have a 23 yr old daughter. She doesn't exactly say that i'm fat, but she is the only person in my life that just doesn't seem very happy for me. It doesn't make me angry. It makes me sad for her. I think because she has always seen me fat and now she can't handle that i'm at around the same weight as her. Not sure if she thinks she has to compete with me. But maybe she wasn't feeling that great about herself to begin with and has always thought "well at least i'm not as big as my mom", I'm not sure. I think it just might be a her own self image that makes her not be happy for me. While others tell me I look younger... she tells me how old I look now. "Look at all of your wrinkles" she points out. Stuff like that. I love my daughter, I just never thought about how my weight loss would affect others. Try to talk to your daughter perhaps there is more on her mind than you realize. Maybe she is jealous of all of the attention you may be getting with the new, healthier YOU. Maybe she needed you to be fat in order to feel better about herself. I think sometimes kids don't know how to express themselves in a healthy and constructive way. I'll pray for you and her. Good luck and God bless! And again, Keep up the good work, you are doing great!!! ~Angel 255/222/150/118

Hey Marie - I'm really sorry that you are going through this with your daughter. It's not like it's just someone that you can cut off. You know, your daughter says those things because she knows that ultimately, no matter what she says to you, you will still love and accept her. You might want to consider telling her (not in the middle of a fight) that part of being a family is knowing the intimate things about each other that can truely hurt one another but respecting each other enough to never use those things against each in anger or for the purpose of hurting one another. Let her know that you love her and would never use things that you know she is sensative about to hurt her feelings (make sure that's true - if you use this behavior then she will have no reason to stop herself) and you expect her to respect you enough to return the favor. If she does this again you might want to consider consequences - take her cell phone away, don't let her use your computer, etc. Good luck! Debbie

I might be a little different here, but here is my opinion. She still lives in your house, you pay her bill and you are the parent. Beat her butt or ground her or something! She is being very disrespectful and you deserve respect. You have done something to make yourself healthy and have taken control of your life. You are doing wonderful with your wieght loss keep up the good work! I do have some of my students still say I am fat and it does bother me, but I look at my gut and see that I still am. But they do realize I have lost a lot of wieght. Use your daughters negitive additude as a motivation. Let her know it hurts your feelings and ask her if you want to point out some of her problems. Remember your the parent! I pray that it gets better for you and your daughter!

Thanks everyone for your responses. I think everyone has good points she probable is going through alot of stuff. But it is still not acceptable to talk to me that way. We had problems before I lost weight. She seems very angry probable about other issues in her life. Yes, she knows I will always love her. I have not talked to her since the argument she has left the house probable to her boyfriends. I went to my support meeting tonight and that helped get back on focus. It's hard to believe I have actually lost 90 pounds. I have to double check myself because I am not used to it. Thanks for all your support and prayers, You guys are great!!

Sorry to hear your daughter is having a difficult time with your weight loss, but it sounds to me like she may be a little bit jealous of all the attention you are getting??? She has had you in her life for all those years and you were just "fat mom" NOW you have lost 90 pds and I'm sure look fabulous and she doesn't know what to do...So she resorts back to were she felt most comfortable with you...know what I mean? I have a girl at work that is very negative to me about my weight loss and I have chosen to ingnore her. All the others have been more that supportive and I refuse to let one person bring me down!!! Stay positve and sooner or later she'll come around....I'm sure this is just as hard for her as it is for you. Good Luck... Karry 311/189/167 goal

Hello Maria, First let me congratulate you on losing 90 pounds ...that's great! As for your daughter...I know its probably easier said than done, but don't let her upset you. She could be experiencing some form of jealously and if you continue to get upset when she says things like this she's won the battle. Honey, put your head up, arch your shoulders and strut your stuff. She'll get the message eventually and if not...oh well, continue to keep up the good work and simply ignore her. Cassandra