On my mind today.....

I have posted some comments today and I am in one of those reflective, philosophical modes I guess but I wanted to share. I applaud those of you who post here and have kept profiles updated.... I even applaud those of you who bring your woes and fears here....you are what make this board work for so many... I figure for every comment made here.... there are probably at least a few dozen others who have been thinking the exact same things. My rambling thoughts.... If I can't express negativity to my OH fam.... where can I?? If I always paint a rosy picture..... doesn't the person who encounters really negative stuff feel totally betrayed and very, very alone... Although the loss of pounds, dress sizes, etc is readily shouted from the rooftops and celebrated (as it should be) ..... there are also many other issues that seem prevalent with this surgery such as loss of relationships and jobs that need to be talked about honestly as well - they might not be as rosy but they are things I and others struggle with and truly need "support" for. My response to a negative comment can set a tone and create a mood around that comment. Did I bring thoughtfulness and sensitivity to where it was needed? At the end of all these rambling thoughts where did I finally arrive?-- At the bottom of every negative comment there is a need that isn't being met.... I realize now that for me that means I have to not react so immediately....slow down..... consider carefully before I speak.... consider the hurt... and who is being alienated....and think creatively about ways in which I or others can help meet that need.... To be silent or give a positive affirmation and ignore the need may be as damaging as reacting too quickly..... Just my rambles with the hope of getting better at being supportive.... B

Your rambling is very constructive and wise. Conflict, in the form of negatively observed cir****tances is significant in causing action and ultimately a transformation of some kind. It's OK to speak your mind as it dictates, as long as it is done from love and caring. I believe language is critical, because what we speak in the present generates our future. It may sound like "fake it till you make it", but in my 60 years, I have learned that it is so. 10 years ago, I wrote down some of my goals and began speaking consistent with their attainment. I have about 20 items on my list that today are a reality. It took a little longer than my goal list specified, but so what? Keep up your comments both positive and critical, they are both valuable and welcome. At least from this thin person. Ron Auriemma, NY and Florida.