I am really screwing up -

I don't know why - I've been choosing more carbohydrates than proteins - I find proteins really hard for me to get down... Most of them really hurt even tuna & cottage cheese - - This is not a good excuse - But I am truly beginning to freak out - & am feeling like a failure. The only foods that "feel" good are carbs - they hurt less going down - I can chew them into oblivion. My calories - I'm tracking them on fitday - are about 1100 - 1500 every day - I'm not loosing anything right now - & my energy is low - I drink too much coffee - but it also feels good - doesn't hurt me - my pouch I mean. I feel like I EAT all the time - which is probably true - cause the carbs burn faster so I'm "hungry" - I can't find a protein drink that tastes tolerable - whey protein seems to have such a bad aftertaste & I don't know where to look for some really good protein drink "recipes"- I don't have a guide for how many calories, how much protein, how much fat etc. I should be shooting for - I kind of feel like my doc - did the surgery then said - "okay, after week 6 - you're on your own." Should I get a nutritionist? Do the rest of you see one? Do you got to support groups? This is really terrible - I don't want to screw up - but I really fel like I'm sabotoging - without meaning to - the whole point of this... Sorry - I've been really whining a lot - I'm pretty stressed - my job is looking at layoffs & I'm likely to be one of the first cut - I have` been looking but haven't yet found another position so i can go - before I'm cut - so I think I'm falling into an age old pattern of eating to soothe - It's SO not helping. I've started taking Zanax (anti-anxiety) & I swear it's making me hungrier... I know I have a 6-month honeymoon period & as it looks right now - I'm not going to meet goal by then - so I guess I'm already certain I'm going to be a WLS failure.... I'm sorry - I feel really miserable - maybe these are the hormones I keep reading that some of you experience... Sorry - I deserve to be flamed for being so ridiculous.... I'm not regretting the surgery - i'm regretting my ability to change old patterns.

Pam, Come here hon!!! (((((((hugs))))))) Here is my advice (not that I have it together.... far from it!!!): 1. STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP!!!! There are plenty in this world ready to take this job without pay..... you don't need it! 2. Find protein sources you DO like.... You are never going to continue a life-long eating pattern if you feel deprived or punished. There has got to be something that you like.... start experimenting and figure this out. Keep those things handy to snack on. It doesn't matter how unorthodox they are.... as long as you like them. (I personally am a fan of Buffalo Chicken wings for breakfast!!!). 3. Yes, support groups ARE important!!! You get ideas.... you get to see that others fall into the same traps .... and somebody chances are has already figured a way out (why reinvent the wheel when you don't have to). You get to encourage someone else just by your presence, and you are able to give back, and realize that you are an example..... sobering thought eh? 4. If you suspect self-sabotage.... then it probably is..... get thee to a counselor and figure this out..... what is the underlying fear???? Most of us stayed obese for very distinct reasons and sometimes those reasons don't go away just because we had a surgical procedure. 5. I can identify with the job issue.... I am there with you in a state of panic....but my guess is that as our bodies are rearranged.... so are our lives.... I'm trying to relax and let wonderful things surface for me along with my bones. 6. It's a time for change. I'll just throw out some things I have found helpful...... Bodywork (a good massage therapist can help you get in contact with your new body and keep you grounded) .... Read success stories (others have tread this path) ..... Surround yourself with supportive people (this is not the time to compromise... it IS all about you right now) and above all be GENTLE with yourself... you are a child of the universe... no less than the trees and the stars.... you have a right to be here.... and whether or not it is clear to you... no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should (sorry I couldn't resist that one... but Desiderata has gotten me through some pretty rough times!) And keep on venting and coming back here - we love you . B

B, That was so well said.... amazing advise for anyone!!! Hope you are feeling well!! Summer

Well, I gotta tell you it has been a pretty awful week.... but things will get better I think with time! B

I'm really sorry to hear you are feeling so awful! Are you seeking counseling to help you deal with your pain? My sister with MS is trying to get her therapy covered by her insurance!! Good Luck to you...I pray you get some relief! Summer

You are not a failure! You loose for more than 6 months so don't beat yourself up over that. You always have tomorrow. I do see a nutritionist every three months. I had to see one before surgery. I have a sheet on meal planning that will help you get back on track. We all have good days and bad days. Some times when I feel hungry I drink water and lots of it until my next meal. Keeps my tummy busy. Try not to stress! Sending prayers your way! Melinda

Pamela, Instead of Zanax have you thought about taking an anti depressant? Effexor is a good one and might help you feel better and more able to cope with the changes that you're going through. I would definetly talk to a nutritionist and also your PCP. I know you've heard this all before but...the pouch is a tool - we have to work on the head stuff that was going on before the surgery. You'll be a success - I know you will! I do go to a support group once a month and the helps - you know, folks that have gone through the same thing that we have. Take care of yourself, you're worth it!! Deb

I'm not sure that I can add anything more than has already been said, some pretty smart folk answered before me. So, just my support and best wishes. Remember: Take each day as it comes. Don't be so hard on yourself. Reach for help where ever you can find it - counselling, support groups & here. best wishes, diane

Hi Pamela! Like the lady before me, I cannot give you any better advice than what you've already received, so I won't try. I wanted to drop you a line and just wish you the best, and tell you how I finally figured out how to get my protein in. I use the premium whey protein from Wally World.It comes in a big container and cost like 13.00! STRAWNERRY/BANNAN SHAKE 1 scoop of protein powder 7 ice cubes (mine are the moon shaped ones, I consider each one an oz.) 2 oz of cold water 1/2 banana 4 frozen strawberries (if small add according) 1/2-3/4 packet of splenda...depending on how sweet you like it! and blend It is so yummy I almost feel like I'm cheating! Honestly, I can't keep my 10 yr. old son out of it! you can also substitute the water and ice for skim milk...less icy but just as tasty! I have tried this without the banana, and it is NOT as good, the banana is definately what masks the protein flavor that we so dislike. I make a protein shake first thing in the morning to get things going, and I take my meds with it, makes those larger pills slide down very nicely!! And I make one in the evening before going to bed and take my night time meds with it. For lunch, I usually have a George Foreman chicken breast, and a salad maybe green beans,... mix it up!! I eat whatever my family is having for the evening meal. I also love deer jerky which my husband makes for me...very low in fat and loaded with protein...and gives me that chewing sensation. I hope you find this helpful. Best of luck to you HUGZ, Debi