Not just a physical journey!

As I responded to another post on the California Board, I thought I might share some of this with you. This journey is a lot more than gms of protein, ozs of water, and types and amounts of vitamins or even numbers of lbs lost. If we are truly to be free of our obesity (only a symptom) we must work on the demons that expressed themselves that way in the first place. It is so easy to cross-addict as I am finding. I can become obsessed with food (in a different way of course), exercise, alcohol, drama in relationships, and a myriad of other things and behaviors. The truly hard work of this surgery appears to be confronting the pain and truths we stuffed down with food in the past. As the bones in my body come to the surface, so does a lot of other junk at the same time. I guess it is time to do the work of truly sorting what to keep and what to discard. As my body is bombarded with hormones and toxins stored in fat, the emotional roller coaster I find myself on is dizzying! My life is crumbling around me fast and I'm not sure how to make it stop or whether I should! I am consoled by others on this and other boards who are able to express their pain and struggle --- for you truly let me know I am not alone! and isn't that what a support group is all about! B

I understand completely!! It is soo much fun seeing the scale move and buying new clothes, that sometimes I don't see my life spinning out of control around my new, skinnier body! I just feel like I don't have as much focus and aim right now at the other important things in my life! But, I assume this is a phase and once we face it, it can only get better!!! And you are right, just talking about it helps tons!!!!!

Hey B All I can say is AMEN TO THAT!! I have been in therapy since my surgery and just like any other addiction the drugs/alcohol/sex/gambling/food is just a "symptom" of our disease. And yes obesity is a disease. We can lose all the weight and reach goal, but what happens when that occurs and we are still the same person on the inside? We wind up thin and unhealthy . Thanks for posting this and god bless... Susan 11/24/04 376/292/190

I so agree. I have had to face many food demons since surgery, more than I ever expected. Everytime I think I have cleared a hurdle there is another there. I have surrendered to the fact that this is a process not a cure all. Sooner or later I will be able to eat some of those old demons. I am have now begun to address my underlying issues. My self esteem was in the toilet, I was a doormat because I didn't deserve better and my goodness the depression and hopelessness of being 347lbs. I have now begun to gain me back, the me I was years ago. I am enjoying my life, and frankly have begun to not give a care about what I look like running, or who is watching. This is my time, my life and I will have it back!