Dealing w/ the questions & compliments

Ok guys, how do you handle this? My boss is driving me nuts- I mean really bonkers. At least once a week, it's how much have you lost? (there are times the scale doesn't move at all, and I know I am not alone here) and then there are the compliments, "boy you can really tell because your face is really thinning out and you can see your high cheekbones" I know it is good intentions, but the constant how much have you lost makes me feel like a failure because the scale is moving slowly ... I'm about 5 pounds away from finally being under 200- into onehundredland which is a dream come true....I am down to a size 18 and I know from the way they are fitting, I'm not going to be in them long .... I feel ok, happy I have lost weight, but I am not "overjoyed" yet ...not excited yet ... and the constant badgering makes me feel awkward ... how do I deal with this? HELP!

Amy, People ask me too, except my reply to them is usually, "Well, I am not sure how much since I haven't weight myself for awhile; three weeks ago I was down a total of 55 lbs..." And that is the truth. I only weigh myself about every 2-3 weeks to keep the suspense going. I don't want to become obsessed with the number. The funny thing is that I lost 17 lbs in the last 2.5 weeks and I felt like I was at a plateau the whole time. It was a great surprise when I did weigh myself! Maybe you can give them a response like mine to head them off and not tell them what you lost "this" week. Mention that it is just a number and what really matters is how you feel, and "I feel great!" That number is really none of their business. Maybe you could also tell them instead how many dress sizes you have lost. Good luck! Lori 331/259/150

Hi Amy, I have the same problem with my boss too. But, you know what else she does? She tells everyone that walks into our agency that I have lost a ton of weight and she tells them that I had WLS! Can you beleive it? The nerve!! The last time she did it, I pulled her aside and told her that I was grateful for her support but I didn't want her to tell every person that I had WLS. It's my body and what I do to it is by business! People just think that they have the right to talk about your life like it's an open book. When she would ask me every week how much I lost, I started to get tired of that too. So I told her that I wasn't weighing myself anymore and I do it at the doctors office. She's stopped asking me. I think people are so excited for you that they forget that you're human. That you are more of a person than your weight. Good luck with your boss! Megan B

I work with a woman who is also always asking me how much I've lost. I know she means well so I don't want to hurt her feelings. I've been making a joke that I'm not quite sure and anyway scales are evil. I'll also say that my health is so much better and that's what my major goal was anyway. I don't know if you're like me but I find it hard to take a compliment. Guess I'm just not use to getting them. For that I'm training myself to just say thank you and not try to deflect them. I may not believe them, but maybe someday I will. best wishes. diane

My Boss also has asked me but I don't mind because his sister is considering the surgery and I think he is concered with what she may go through dont sweat it just smile and say thanks HANG IN THERE GIRL

Oh yeah! My boss is just TERRIBLE. She's about 5 feet tall and must weigh about 90 pounds. So, she's obsessed with my weight loss. She came up to me the other day and said that she printed out a picture of me from an office party (it was on the work web site) and that she's filed it away. "In a few months, you and I are going to sit down together and look at that picture so you can see the changes in your body." HUH? I literally told her that I would take part in no such conversation, and then told her that I thought she was cruel to suggest it. Now she completely ignores my weight loss. I don't suggest that you go as far as I did, since I'd really prefer to kill 'em with kindness, but you need to find a way to tell your boss to back off. A coworker suggested that I tell other people who ask me personal questions about the surgery to say things like: 1) I don't really care how much I've lost, I'm just feeling really healthy or 2) I didn't do this to get skinny, I did this to feel good or 3) That's between me and my doctor! or 4) I'll tell you how much I weigh if you tell me how much you weigh! No matter what, nobody wants to talk about their weight, so people should understand. I think it's hard for people to understand that we're not doing this for the glory of having impressive "before" and "after" pictures. This process isn't about having a flat tummy! It's about feeling good, prolonging our lives, and increasing the quality of our day-to-day lives. I don't ask my friends what size jeans they wear, so why should they ask me? I'd love to know any other ideas people have! Good luck!

Ok, here's one for you. I don't know if I should be insulted or feel complimented. My boss says about every other day - How will I be able to stop looking at you when you get thin and beautiful? What am I now??? He's all heart and really means well but - 1st off, Am I not worth looking at now and secondly, I don't really want him looking at me at all- People just don't know how to act so they say silly things. I guess we should just consider it complimentary and let it go unless it's overt or like someone above said, they are sharing your business with everyone and their brother. Keep up the good work guys! Deb