New member-Didnt go through with it =0(

Hi my name is Melissa. I am not actually "new" but after being a member of this site for several months and reading tons of posts I have decided to post my recent experience since I fell as though everyone on this site will be able to understand what I went through. Anyways I am 21 years old and I am married and I have 2 kids, a 4 yr. old and an 8 month old. My surgery was scheduled for Nov. 30th. Leading up to the surgery I was petrified . Words really cannot explain the fear I was feeling . Everytime I would think of it I would get anxiety and pu**** in the back of my mind. Well surgery day came and I was very apprehensive to say the least. I went through several different emotions all at once and while sitting in the operating room I decided that I couldn't go through with it. I cited many reasons. I was obviously scared of death and of complications and of side effects. I was also scared of the mental aspect of the surgery. I have bipolar and I wasn't sure if I was ready to deal with how my life would be afterwards. I was also not sure if I was ready to give up food. I have not been eating out of control since the cancellation, I have been eating healthy but my problem is that I am depressed, grieving almost. I feel like I had the opportunity of a life time and I threw it away. I kick myself in the ass everyday for not going through with it. I am venting but I guess I am wondering how anyone could go through with it. How did you conquer your fear? Also I had 2 c-sections. If anyone has had a c-section could anyone tell me if the surgery is similar to that? I thank you all so much!! Melissa

Oh Melissa.... I'm so sorry that your feeling this way! I'm mostly sorry that you felt the type of fear that you did before surgery. It's an awful feeling to be scared like that. I do have to say that I think you made the right decision for yourself! It takes a lot of courage to back out of surgery! You went with your feelings...and that's OKAY! Please don't beat yourself up over this. You weren't ready and you listened to yourself. wls isn't for everyone. Maybe at another time in your life it will be the right thing to do. You're young! You have time! As for your other question about c-sections..... I haven't had a c-section, but I've had abdominal surgery and I've had friends that had c-sections. It's not the same as a c-section! Maybe if you have it done open but not laprascopically. How did you do with your c-sections? I'm sure the recovery was rough! if you like, look at my profile and you will see how my experince was in the hospital. I am now 30 days post-op and I feel great. Sure...I have up's and down's, but for me, the surgery was a God-send. Hope your feeling better! Please keep us all posted! We care! Megan

Hi Melissa! I'm so sorry you got all the way to the hospital and then let your fear get the better of you. Could it have been your surgeon that made you feel unease? When we have these feelings it is always better to go with them than not. Maybe the hospital made you uneasy. As far as Caesarean is concerned, I had a c-section and I had laparoscopic RNY. The 6 one-inch size incisions didn't go anywhere near where my c-section scar was. I take Wellbutrin. I was scared too but I was scared more not to live as long as the pounds kept piling on. If you are able to have a lap RNY, you have very little pain in my experience. I felt no pain at all. It's been a challenge for me to find something I want to eat, but so far I"ve lost 25 pounds. It's fantastic. I'll say a prayer for you that you either reschedule your surgery, find a different surgeon that makes you feel more secure, or live with your decision in peace. This surgery isn't for everyone but insurance companies don't approve it for someone that doesn't really need it. Take care and kiss your babies for me. xoxo

Thank you Megan and Alice. I think there was a barrage of things that made me uneasy about the surgery. As of right now I have already made an appointment with another highly recommended surgeon and I am trying to get my authorization number from the insurance company and hopefully everything will be much better. I have given it alot of thought and I feel as though I should do the surgery. I am 21 like I mentioned and I have high blood pressure, diabetes and had a mild heart attack several months ago. I know i need the surgery i am just terrified of leaving my husband and children. Anyway thanks for listening to me! Melissa

If you are 21 and have already had a mild heart attack..plus diabetes...and high blod pressure...I would say that having this surgery will likely do a lot towards STOPPING you from leaving your family prematurely...obesity only goes downhill from here...and I speak from experience...of course it is your call...but you have already had a scary near miss! You are in my prayers, Sher'

Hi Sher' . I agree that this surgery will probably keep me around longer but it's almost like because I am choosing to do the surgery I feel like if something happens it was my choice. Thank you for your reply!!

Hi again! I fully understand that and struggled with the "I am doing this to myself" thing...UNTIL I met with cardiologists who told me they did NOT think my having surgery was a frivolous idea taking into account the diabetes I have and all the possible complications from that 10 years down the road if I did NOt have the surgery....I am 50 and have not had a heart attack. I was told that because I am diabetic..I have heart disease by default. It is your choice no matter what....my best for your future and decision making. Sher'

Hi, I had my surgery Nov. 30th.. I had no complications or nausea THANK GOD! I have very little discomfort today. My surgeon had me sedated before going to the OR.. because I also was having panic attacks.. before I knew what was happening I was in recovery.. walked that night and things are only getting better and better.. I had a c-section and this was a cake walk in comparison.. If you want the surgery Id reschedule but have your surgeon or PCP give you xanax or something for the week before surgery to calm you and plan to get sedated as soon as you reach the hospital.. Shelly

Shelly reading your post really made me at ease!!! I will ask for something beforehand because I was freaking out and I didnt even know that was an option.

Hi Melissa, I am sorry that you felt so frightened that you didnt go through with it. I am 38 years old and I have 3 children, all delivered by c-section. I had easy recoveries from each of those - not much different than people who had natural childbirths but I didnt have to do those sitz bath things so I thought I had it better than they did! Well, my RNY surgery was much easier than I thought it would be. I hardly had any pain - didnt use my PCA very much at all and they disconnected it 24 hours after surgery and I needed nothing after that. I didnt even fill my pain killer prescription when I went home because there was no need. About the eating afterwards - I never thought I would say this in my life, but I dont even look at food the same way. I never get hungry, I eat because I have to and I must get in the protein every day. The only "hunger" pangs (wasnt real hunger just a desire to chew that from what I understand everyone goes through at the end of the liquid only stage just before they are allowed to start eating soft foods) I had were from a desire to chew and they went away as soon as I was allowed to eat soft foods like scrambled eggs which was about 10 days post op. For me, before the surgery, I thought I would horribly miss all the things I was used to eating, but it is not the case at all! I did have some fear going into the surgery about dying etc, but I had that prior to each of my c-sections too. I think it is normal and natural to think that. I hope that things smoothly for you now and that you can get a quick date with your new surgeon. Maybe they can give you a mild sedative the morning of your surgery so you wont get so apprehensive in the OR. God bless you and keep you, ~Andrea