Am I the only one who isn't excited?

Hey everybody, What I am about to say will probably not be popular, but I have to ask! Am I the only one in this group who isn't REALLY EXCITED about the surgery? I am happy that I was approved, happy that I will soon be healthy, and happy that I will one day be normal. I am just not excited about the date. People keep asking me, "Are you getting excited?" and I feel like an idiot for saying, "Not really." I just feel like that day may be a big let-down to some who are truly excited. I try and remind myself that there is not a huge reason to get excited about that day since that day will come and go. I'll look the same the next week, but I'll probably be grieving for the very foods that gave me comfort (the head hunger everyone speaks about). Or maybe I'm not excited because I never really cared about being skinny, I am only doing this to be healthier. Being skinny will be a bonus. I am saving my excitement for the first day I have to go buy clothes because nothing in the closet fits! That will be something to be excited about. Don't get me wrong; I am happy for those of you who are excited about starting your new life on that day. But, I'd like to talk to others who may have similar thoughts as mine. And maybe this is my brain trying to sabatoge me again. Maybe it's trying to protect me from being disappointed if I don't really lose all that weight. Realistically I know I will lose the weight, but it seems so unrealistic that perhaps it's an internal protective measure. Heck I am starting to sound like a Psychologist wanna-be. I better stop! Thanks for listening! crazy: Lori H. Pre-op; Lap-RNY 11/22/04

I agree....I've had abdominal surgeries before, and it's really hard to get excited about all that discomfort, and such drastic changes are more than a little scary, and to be honest, I've failed at EVERYTHING having to do w/ weight loss, so I'm glad that after such a long hassle, I finally have a surgery date, but "excited" does not describe me. Nice to know I'm not a freak. best wishes, sherry

Hello Sherry, Was nice to get your reply. As you noticed I think our feelings aren't too common. In a way I wish I could be excited about it, but on the other hand maybe the time will pass faster since I am not dwelling on it. However, I will say that my life is pretty much revolving around that date with it being so close. I keep having to remind myself about it, like I can't believe it will really happen yet. I am fortunate in that I have never had an abdominal surgery. In fact my only surgery was a bunionectomy 9 yrs ago. That was painful because they literally saw off the bony prominance on your foot. And it literally hurt to the touch for about 1 year, tender for 3 yrs! I have been a surgical nurse though, and have taken care of many post-ops with belly surgery, some open and some lap. I definitely was the lap. I echo that failure comment you made, and motivation isn't one of my strong points either, so I am looking at this as a lot of work on my end. For example, how do I remember to cook and shop for my family when I will not be eating a thing. I usually buy according to what sounds good for dinner, well I know that will need to change. I know they won't be able to tolerate one item per meal. I know the recipes are a big deal. I wish someone would author a cookbook for families going through this process. Most of what they eat I cannot have. I plan to cook healthy for them, but I am not sure how popular it will be. I am buying the Unjury protein shakes have you heard of them? I heard from everyone they are the best,and my husband loves them. Keep in touch! Lori H. Pre-op, Lap RNY 11/22/04

Sounds like you are grieving! You are going to lose something that you have always had as your comfort! I worry about that too. Food has always been my best support system and real soon it is not going to be in abundance as it once was. So yes, I can see were you wouldn't be excited! Keep a positive outlook! You will be happy in the long run (not to say there won' t be tough times down the road). Take care, Debbie another "Psychologist Wanna BE" LOL

Lori- I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I am excited for the afterpart. I want to be on the road to recovery although I know it will be a long hard road. I am not "excited" per se for surgery, just for the outcomes from that surgery. I think that what you are feeling is normal, because it's how YOU feel. Good luck to you, good luck to all of us!!!!! Janet

Ladies- I sympathise as well- My surgery date is Nov 16 and I am fairly stressed over the event. I have a to do list about 4 pages long and am trying to tie up lose ends before surgery and trying hard not to think of it as tying up lose ends before.... well you know I'm sure. I am anxious about how long before I get back on my feet and if I will have complications. Add to that the fact that the date is close enough that I am having to tell people I will be unavailable for this that or the other thing in the last part of November, which inevitably leads to "oh- what are you having done" Put the statement- I am confortable with my decision and have nothing to hide - in direct conflict with the reality of looking people in the eye and saying -gastric bypass- and waiting for judgement to be made. I have also been aware that my mental perception of surgery in the research phase was - you have surgery and you lose all of your excess weight immediately- Of course I know thats not really what happens so I am trying to caution myself that surgery day will be an arguable difficult begining to a long and hard journey. Not exactly getting a 'woo hoo' from me, although I am committed.

Hello everyone! Thank you all for your friendly replies; that's what I needed (to know you all were out there). I know that when people are excited it's generally about the after part when you lose weight, but I am just having a difficult time seeing ahead to that part I guess. Heck I am still trying to get the Will set in case I die. I am not real worried about the complications thing either, I think it's more of the challenges that lie ahead. I have several friends that have warned me about the head hunger and how depressed they became when they realized that their destiny was protein shakes and cottage cheese (and heck, I still have to learn to like that stuff!). This is the point I guess I am really digesting the fact that this is not the easy fix. I've known that all along, but maybe it's just now sinking in. The funny part is that I thought that waiting for approval was the stressful part, and now I would have to say it's the waiting. Later I will probably say it's the adaptation, and this is the "easy way out?" Glad you all are here; thanks for all of your support! You all are awesome! Lori H. Pre-op; lap RNY 11/22/04

Hi Lori I understand exactly how you feel. I was not excited for a period of time. And I too felt like an a** when people asked me if I was excited and said "no".. Some of my friends, a few who had surgery and a few who had not made me feel like I was being ungrateful and reminded me of all the people who would love to be in my shoes, approved with a day fast approaching. But two of my *Angels* here on OH. put it in to perspective for me. I have had a very long process and wait and after getting approved it was just more waiting. But I am once again excited, after I thought about all the reasons I was having this surgery. And it just so happens my knees started hurting like crazy and an old broken foot injury started hurting again. I guess just a little reminder that better days are ahead. I wish you all the best!! CeCe