Help

I am coming up on 4 years and have gained 35 lbs back, never met my goal, but got fairly close,but what I am wondering is how do you deal with depression, and discouragement? I feel so bad, I hate to go anywhere, I know I need to get back to basics, it is just so hard,
ok enough whining, I will just have to decide if feeling better and looking better is worth the effort I will have to put into it.
Thanks for listening and if anyone has any thoughts on how to deal with depression and overeating please feel free to chime in.
Jan

I wish I could help you.  I went from a size 0 to a size 6 in one year.  I just started feeling worse, failed to go to my check ups and didn't exercise.

Yeah, most people say a size 6 is tiny- but I feel like a balloon and a failure.  So the depression sets in, and no one understands.  I am seeking help, but I have yet to meet a professional who knows much about WLS.  They just assume I am normal and my body absorbs meds normally.

I have considered taking weight loss meds, but I doubt they will help.  I'm just depressed, which causes me to be more lazy and gain more weight.

I have refused to leave the house if I go beyond a size 6.  Call me crazy.  I don't know how to deal with it either.  My self image is terrible.  I still see that size 20 girl looking back at me, I do not feel like a petite woman that I have become.  I feel fat, and sometimes people see my arms which are still kind of big from the weight and they can't put two and two together.  And I'm not about to discuss my wls with strangers.

I've managed to keep it a secret, just because I hate answering so many ignorant questions.   They are more concerned with how I looked before rather than how I felt.  I have made terrible choices since the surgery both personal and with food.

The only thing I have going for me right now is the faith that God will help me get through my misery.  I think he will.  I hope to look  in the mirror one day and see what everyone sees  and see that person looking back at me.

Hi Jan,

I don't have answers for you but I encourage you to get your profile going and blog about what's going on inside, outside, on the side.. write it down and write down what you think about it because sometimes just getting it out can be help enough. 

I'm four years out today and my weight loss stopped well short of my "goal" -- I still have 65# to go to get there..  and sometimes I still get upset and think "why wasn't I a superachiever?"  Why couldn't I even do THIS? -- well I DID do this.. and 160# ago, I never could have..  recognize your achievements and focus less on what you haven't achieved (YET).  You'll get there.  Your tool is still there.. remember to listen to your body.  Stop eating when you're full (you know that deep breath/sigh you take in the middle of a meal?  that's your body saying, "Hey!  Yoohoo!  I'm full!" set your fork down and find something else to do with your mouth.. talk.. pop in a piece of gum.. sit back and finish your glass of water.. )

Depression.. that's a toughy, though..  contact your surgeon's office and find out about some group therapy.. most surgeons either offer or recommend.  Use it.  You're not a failure if you need help..  Just get help.  You can do it!

Good luck and don't lose hope! 

You're not the only one who gets down about their weight!  I think we're all in the same boat on occasion.  It's good that you caught yourself after only gaining 35lbs.  Put things in perspective first - look how far you've come from your original pre-surgery weight.  Congratulate yourself again over that achievement - I think that after 4 years we have forgotten to do that for ourselves.  Second, you're right - you just need to get back to basics.  Concentrate on the protein - tuna, chicken, steak and then on salad.  Next add some fruit.  If you're still hungry after all that then go for some carbs.  I can eat anything now but I still can't eat a large portion at a time.  A trick that I've found to curb the sugar cravings that I get is to have some SF hot chocolate.  If you decide that losing those pounds that you put back on isn't worth the effort to you then just stay the same.  Don't gain anymore weight and remember that you are a beautiful, strong and worthy person.  Good luck!!!

Deb

Hi Jan-I am really glad I read your post.  The problem is that we have tried every diet and failed.  We blame ourselves.  Surgeons and successful post ops are comfortable blaming us too.  In reality the mechanics of the surgery sometimes are not appropriate for us from the get go.  Stomas can be different sizes and made differently leading to failure in some people.  Bypass lengths that I have read on this site are 30cm (shortest) to 250cm (longest).  I have heard of people with 1/2 oz to 3 oz pouches.  What did you have? Do you even know?  Sometimes I feel the surgeon chooses the wrong specifics for a patient.  The surgery is then inappropriate for that patient and she can't make it work.  Often people have inappropriate revisions as well.  All the "stoma repairs" cost a lot of money and I don't believe they are working.  I am hopeful that the lap band over the rmy proves to work out for people.  First if I were you I would find a Center of Excellence in your area that has an experienced revision surgeon.  I would pursue what physical problem exists.  Too short a bypass, too large a stoma or too large a pouch.  I would then have it fixed.  No time for worrying and getting depressed over it.  Just fix it.  Daisy

Hi Jan,
I have not been on these boards in about 2 years now.  I started this journey at about 400 lbs.  I remember being that heavy and how sad I was inside.  When we made the decision to have this surgery it was not for an easy way out, but for help in getting where we need to be.  I am not at my goal "yet", but I will get there eventually.  Like everyone I lost fast at first, I went down to 260 lbs, but after about 18 months I started gaining.  The reason I gained is because I ate and grazed constantly and stopped exercising.  Before I knew it, I was up to 310 lbs and none of my clothes for me.  I was horrified and saw everything I worked for going down the drain.  I really had to dig deep inside and make a decision to take control of my life.  After all, I didn't have major surgery and alter my organs to wind up back where I started and wonder how I got there.  About 6 months ago I made a decision to change my life FOR REAL!  I joineed a gym and threw out all the unhealthy food in my home.  I did alot of nutritional research and went on a 1500 calorie diet.  Working out is very hard when you are overweight, but I became focused and diligent.  I started with 10 minutes on the treadmill and light circuit training.  I worked up to 40 minutes of cardio 6 days a week and circuit training 3x a week and I walk at lunch almost every day for 2-3 miles.  It's not easy getting up at 5am to go to the gym; but so far I have lost 62 lbs, I am down to 248lbs and feel wonderful.  I look forward to the gym now and am experincing feelings of confidence, joy and a sense of accomplishment...things I have never felt before.  I have quite a way to go to get to goal, but I WILL get there, one pound at a time.  And it's ok if I am not perfect.  
There is a point to this long post..lol.  It is very simple and it is what I tell myself daily.  Get off the counch, get off the pitty pot, stop looking for the easy way out and JUST DO IT!  If you do not take control of your life and stop eating your feelings you will not  turn it around.  Replace the negatives with positives.  When you are feeling sad, take a walk... or call a girlfriend.  There is no secret cure or magic answer.  Let's face it.  Losing weight is hard!!!  But it is so worth it.  

Thanks so much for all the replies, it helps so much to come back and read them.

Susan, yours came just now, but the timeing is excellent, the one sentence that stands out is "stop eating your feelings" that really hit home and tho I knew it, it helps so much to see it in black and white, and without dealing with feelings, nothing else matters.
Thanks so much!

You know, Susan is right - back to basics.  I too can eat anything now (except icecream but that doesn't stop me from trying) but I still can't eat a lot at one time.  This is the tool that I worked so very hard to get.  Remember those days of anxiously wondering if you were going to be approved for the surgery, the days of pain recovering??  You went through that for a reason - to acquire the tool that you needed to succeed.  It's 4 yrs later and you still have the ability to get what you want, you just have to work for it again.  It's worth it - it really is, you just have to exercise, eat protein first and not reach for the sugar and carbs.  You are worth the effort - now get walking!!!

Deb