Mortified and Disgused and hopless

I had surgery on Nov. 11, 2004. I lost 115lbs. I have now gained back almost 30 pounds--and I am shocked. It is like it sneaked up on me. I also have been prescribed medication and was warned I would have to work hard to keep my weight in check. I have NOT. My portions are not the problem--I dont think. Sure, they have gotten bigger since the onset--but it is boxes of Ho Ho's and Frappacino's --pure junk. My question is--have I ruined my bypass? How do I start over? I don't know where to begin and I have never been more scared in my life. I actually have to buy plus size clothing now. I cant believe I'm doing this to myself. Can anyone tell me what I should eat? Does anyone still keep in contact with the "lifelong" nutricionist we were given acess too? Thank you sooo much in advance for your help, AMy

Hey Amy, Don't feel like the lone ranger. I too have gained back some of my weight but, only about 15 pounds, and I am in the process of losing those. You just have to go back to the basics and do what you did before to lose the weight. That is what I have been doing and the weight is coming off. I know that it is frustrating to have come this far then to gain weight again. But we have to watch ourselves very carefully, and exercise, exercise and more exercise. You have come to far and have done so good. Hang in there, it will be okay. Cathy

You are most certainly not alone, I had about 15 pounds sneak up on me, as well. My problem is that I strayed away from the basics, we need to eat MEALS until we are satisfied, and NO SNACKING. Some great resources I have found: www.livingafterwls.com, and on the internet there is a small pamphlet called "Pouch rules for dummies", or maybe "rules of the pouch for dummies", I can't remember which one it is. But the website I mentioned is great, it is put together and overseen by a woman who is (I think) 6 years out from her surgery. Very good advice, and very practical and down to earth. Good luck to you, and try not to get depressed, I think a lot of us were depressed, and found comfort in food. That is how we ended up undergoing wls (weight loss surgery) in the first place.

The other posters are right, go back to basics. Your pouch is a tool and that doesn't change. Make sure you eat your meals, take your supplements, get your protein, and don't drink with your meals. My husband gained thirty of his back after having three back surgeries this year and is now working on getting it back off. He has lost wait by just leaving those M&Ms alone Hang in there and stay the course. You will be fine. Teresa

Amy, "I'm sorry". I know exactly how you feel. I too have gained 30lbs. I started 363 in November 2004, got down to 209 in July of 2006, and now I teeter between 237-239. I started to notice that my clothes were a little tight, but blew if off as "period weight gain", then one day I couldn't button my pants! I just sat in my closet and cried, because it was no more fooling myself. My weight gain began with a lot of emotional factors (as most of us are familiar with). First it was my friends, or should I say, people who I thought were my friends. When I dropped to 209 I was working out Monday-Thursday for an hour. I would eat light breakfasts, and salad for lunch, and grilled chicken or pork for dinner. Fridays would be my treat days. I would have one thing that I denied myself of for the entire week. However I didn't go overboard, because I knew that I would have a treat day every week. The weekends were hard, but I would go over to friend's house, walk the malls, etc. -anything to get out of the house so I wouldn't eat. Then one day I got ill, but I was determined to workout, and my friends told me that I was addicted. They said I needed help, because I was a workout junkie. Then I thought maybe I am and I started to slack up on working out. Guess What? Eventually I felt better, but bad habits had already taken over, and I never returned to my regime. However, looking back I could have done light workout (i.e. walking), which would have more than likely accelerated my wellness. Then, I mentioned my weight gain to my mother. She said "Oh that's just that loose skin". So again in my mind, I said when I get my tummy tuck, I will be ok. I allowed others to weaken my mind, and I take full responsibility for it. I don't blame them. I'm sure in their minds they were trying to be helpful and caring. It was my fault, because I knew 'me" better than they did, and I knew if I broke by regular routine, it would be hard for me to go back to it, and I also knew that it was not just loose skin, it was eating a lot of "soft foods". Another thing that bothers me is that, I am just as embarrassed as I was before I lost the 125lbs. I hate now to see people who have seen me at my lowest, especially those who know I had the surgery. I explain the I-got-sick-story, but the fact still remains that I have gained weight. I desperately try to celebrate that fact that I have lost 125lbs, and I thank GOD for it, but I know I could do better, and when I think about that I spiral into that mindset that I've done well so I could stand to eat (insert fattening food here). Now I sit here feeling defeated. My grandmother called to tell me that she had just seen someone who had the surgery, and that she had gained all of the weight back and more. She begged me not to gain all of my weight back. That made me feel bad. Then my mother has reported she is now 206lbs (she hadn't had surgery). She gasped at the fact that I have gained 30lbs. That made me feel bad too. Everyday I wake up with the mantra that I am going to do better, but that day never seems to come to fruition. Since, I am a teacher, and off for the summer, all I do is snack, snack, and snack. I have 3 closets: Too little clothes, comfortable clothes, and too big clothes. The too-little-clothes closet is bursting, and of course the too-big-clothes closet is dwindling. I just keep affirming everyday, that today is the day. Yesterday I made an appointment with the nutritionist. I plan to take the advice of the people on this forum and get back to basics, and hope that one day will be the day that I get back on track. I'm wishing the same for you.

Hi Amy! I haven't been on this site forever...guess why I'm here now? Yep, I've gained 10 pounds in the past 2 months. UGH! Anyway, my hubby and I are getting rid of all the carbs and junk in the house this weekend and starting on a low carb/high protein lifestyle again. My MD always says "PROTEIN FIRST". Like everyone else said... go back to basics. Hang in there, we can do it

Hi to all. I am right here with you all. I started out a 3 pounds up, then took that off, then up 5, now it is almost 20. Got the exercise back in starting last week, but the snacking is bad.... At work seems to be ok, but I get home and the mouth opens, the arm bends, and I just don't seem to stop, I have decided that beating myself up isn't the way. We cannot "hate" ourselves into taking care of ourselves. We are all worth the effort. We worked hard, and took care of ourselves enough to go through this surgery. We need to nurture ourselves enough to CARE about what we do. I'm praying for all of us, to make it through one moment, celebrate that we did what is best for us, and then get through the next one.

Hi Amy, It actually comforted me to know that other post-op gastric bypass patients are having the same issues I am. I had my surgery in Sept of '04. I weighed 407 the day of the surgery and I weigh 289 as of this morning. Exactly one year after my surgery I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. At that time I was down to 247....FINALLY under the 250 mark but that didn't last long. I only gained 16 pounds during my pregancy, the weight came when the baby did. The stress of being a 1st time mom sent me eating junk food, I stopped working out...because I was practically sleep walking taking care of a newborn. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame my son at all, this is just how things took place and what sent me back up on the scale. My BIGGEST mistake of all was when I started to drink while eating, thus allowing me to eat more. This was the worst mistake I could have made. My fear is that I've stretched my stomach out again and my surgery was a waste of time. I feel just as you do, mortified, disgusted, and hopeless....PLUS very worried. Belinda

Well, as someone else mentioned, I haven't been on this site in ages. It looks like no one else has either but maybe, just maybe, someone else will get back on soon. I am now heading into the same boat as everyone else. I've only put only about 3-4 pounds but I've gone up a size in clothes. All of the shift in weight has gone to my stomach and I look flabby. I feel dowdy. I don't know if it comforts me to know others are in the same boat or if it makes me feel hopeless. It's the candy (M & M's and stuff - those little things) that are doing me in! And I'm trying so hard to start working out again. When I worked out 5-6 days a week I had energy. Now I'm not working out (it's been 2 years since I worked out consistently) so I have no energy. No energy means I can't get my butt out of bed to work out. It's a vicious cycle! Maybe if we could all get back on this site and encourage each other daily - hold each other accountable - we could do this again. Think of it - it can't be that hard to lose 10-30 pounds. That's nothing compared to where we came from, right??

OMg I am right with y'all.........I feel better. After the TExas testing ..(.I am a teacher) I am back on track. That will be Thursday. I already started exercising. Now I gotta get rid of the SLURPEE craving. It kills me because I can not stand the crystal light one. ughghghgh Cleaning the cabinets THURSDAY>>>> plus I am buying a grill that should help too. grilling chicken and shrimp. Let's keep in touch!!!!!