Discouraged

Hello All- I didnt know such a forum like this existed! I googled the words "tummy tuck" and this site was one of my results. I am glad Ive found it. Since this is my first post, it will be rather lengthy, so I am thanking those in advance who will read it and respond to it. I am very discouraged at this point with my surgery results. I had RNY in the latter part of Nov 2003. I started out 363lb and now Im 215lb. I think that those results are good, but not spectacular. I say spectacular, because I have friends who are 130lb-150lb, and they started from nearly 300lbs. They are two years plus into their post op, but they dont exercise and they eat what they want. It has been nearly a year and a half and I have yet to go under 200lb, let alone being able to reach my goal of 185lbs like I thought I would. I havent gained, but Im afraid I may. I guess I thought the surgery would be magic. At least that's how it was proposed to me. Now I am struggling. I am able to eat ANYTHING! I can eat sweets, all kinds of meats, and bread. I get dumping syndrome when I eat too much of these things, but I am still able to eat a candy bar, a slice of pizza and a half, and a sandwich! -without dumping syndrome. My stomach has gotten bigger so I can hold more food, and my appetite has increased. It seems I eat all the time now. My food choices arent lasting very long. I get hungry before the 2 hour mark. I choose foods that have 0-2 grams of fat, but most are high in sugar(i.e. cereal, ice cream, fruits). I try to stay away from fried foods but sometimes I indulge in hot wings. Ive spoken to my MD about this and he says that the surgery has done what it was supposed to do, because Ive lost over 50% of my body fat, and now Im like any other person, and I will have to diet and exercise like any other person. Well I thought if it was that easy, I wouldnt have been overweight in the first place. He said that the surgery was only a jump start. Well Im thankful for the jumpstart, however I have not learned to eat differently; it was just that I was forced to only eat a little bit of my favorite foods thats how I lost the weight. I guess it wasnt magic at all. I have also spoken to a nutrionist and she says that the foods I eat are high in fat, and that I must choose foods that are low in fat and only consume 3ozs of food everytime I eat. She told me to use my hand as a guide, to imagine my hand as a plate and only eat as much food that can fit on my hand. I used to be able to do that, but now my stomach is larger. Before surgery I was a junk food eater, and yes old habits are hard to break. At least twice a week I will eat a donut or a brownie. In the last few months, I have been eating late at night. I have joined the gym, and I go 4-5days a week. I do 30 mins on the treadmill, and 100 crunches (which havent yielded any results because of the hanging skin),and/or aqua aerobics. I am still very, very flabby and now my clothes fit funny (hence the reason that I was searching the net for tummy tuck advice) I am very discouraged now because I havent lost what I thought I would by this point; I thought that this surgery would allow me to stay at a certain weight forever; I found that tummy tucks arent covered on my insurance; and I am afraid that I may gain weight back, because of my ravenous appetite. HELP!

hi join the party i also am upset cause i to thought it would be different but we have to go back to the rules if possible i am having the same problems u you have it easy to say go back to the rules i have lost 160lbs and i was 453 so i am not pleased with my self i will try but i am like u looking for answers sorry no help need it as well

Hello Shawn! First congratulations on your weight loss so far. You MUST feel better than you did before. As far as being discouraged, I can understand that, but the surgery was only a tool. Take a day or two and write down what you eat and when. Then review it. You should be concentrating on eating protein first, this helps to maintain a full feeling longer-then you are not hunger so early. You will be surprised at the things that have protein too. The drs tell us no candy, but that is unrealistic. Just be aware of how much you are eating. The loose skin--well the plastic surgeon told me there is no exercise to get rid of it, only surgery. make a consult appointment with a PS and ask how much excess you have and how much could be removed. Most consults are covered by insurance. As for your ravenous appetite, are you truly hungry, or are you thirsty? Most of us don't know how to discern the difference, so we eat (I still do), but I think more often than not I am really thirsty. These boards are great for advice and support. You are successful and with a few changes you could continue to lose what you want to. Marianne

Hi Marrianne Thanks so much for your help, and your encouragement. I will try drinking instead of eating when I get hungry. I will also try to choose protein rich food; the ones I know contain protein that is. So its true what they have told me about the skin-I must get it removed. I thought exercise would at least help. Well, back to the drawing board. My mother says that if I dont lose any more weight, I should be thankful. So thats what Im going to start doing. Thanks a bunch.

First, we are all unique individuals and we simply must not judge our successes on the basis of others' successes. Heck, it depressed me that my surgery buddy turned into a veritable twig and we had our surgery the same day, while here I am still rounder than I had hoped to be. You need to make yourself eat properly. It is important not to make yourself feel deprived, however, limit your splurges and make them tiny. You will be amazed how you can cure a craving for sweets just by reading the calorie count on the labels! A little bit goes a long way. If I feel I cannot live without a cookie, I go to the bulk bin and buy ONE cookie, or a couple of tiny candies. I try to NEVER buy whole bags of anything because that is just too damned tempting. You will be just fine. the excess skin, unfortunately, will not disappear without surgery, but by getting exercise and tightening up the muscles, you are doing the right thing to prepare for it. My insurance doesn't cover tummy tucks either UNLESS THE DOCTOR CAN SHOW MEDICAL NECESSITY. Do not feel defeated so soon. My advice is to start saving for it now. Many surgeons will take payment plans. In the meantime, your plastic surgeon will know what to put in a letter to show medical necessity, but ask your wls surgeon who he recommends. If you develop rashes under the skin, have them photographed. This will help, and if you get prescriptions for ointments for the rashes, keep records. Good luck to you~

Thanks Angel for your help. I have taken all that you have said into consideration. I am feeling and doing better.

I'm happy to hear that you are feeling and doing better. We all have our ups and downs. We have to remember that this is a lifelong path we have chosen and you ar right. There is no magic bullet for the hunger of the mind. I still want to get rid of another 20 lbs, but because of my AGE of all things, it is not realistic. However, if I keep doing the right thing, it may eventually go at the least, and at the best, my health will just continue to get better and i won't regain any weight. Those who gain back weight are those who never dealt with their eating issues in the first place and go back to the same old habits of putting high calorie garbage into their tiny tummy. Just remember to DEAL as you go along and you will be sensational! [god I love wearing a pair of low rise jeans and a crop top and having folks give me that Wow! look ~ ]

Hello Shawn, Congratulations on your weight loss. It is a big accomplishment. When I find myself hunting something to eat and never being completely satisified with what I find I realize that I haven't had enough protein. If I get my 64 grams of protein in during the day I notice that I am better satisfied. At our support group meetings Rona Scott always said to get your protein first at each meal then your veggies and fruit and if there was any room left you could eat a little carbs. If I try to follow that rule I usually am full before I get to the carbs. This might be an idea you might like to try. I also drink a lot of Crystal light. The classic sunrise is so good to me. Have you tried it?

Hi Kathy Thanks for your advice. I tried all of the Crystal Lights and had to end up giving them away. I do not like flavored water of any sort, I have increased my water intake. I thank you immensely for the protein tip. That has helped me. Meat is so heavy on my stomach, but I try to eat nuts (they are high in fat) but I rather eat nuts than chocolate. Thanks again

I know how you feel and I too just found this site. I had wls 11-2003. I've lost 130lbs, but I'm still 25 to 30lbs from goal. And I'm really having a hard time. My wls doctor isn't here anymore and I really need a local support group, but I can't find one. But I hope to use this site and find some help. I just wanted to say good luck to you !!!! Angela