You look great vs: I don't...

Reading the posts below made me think of things I am going through when others talk to me. Like every day, EVERY DAY, people comment "you look so good" or "Wow-beautiful!" "You are amazing!" When inside I just feel like I am falling apart. I feel like I am failing miserably with this weight loss battle. They see the outside- hoe together I look, how "beautiful". But inside I feel miserable. I am constantly fighting the urge to eat. I am always worried about eating too much and gaining back the weight. Then I think about if I do put the weight back on how everyone will be talking about me and making fun of me. That no matter what I have set myself up for the ultimate failure. How do I deal with these issues? Have any of you experienced anything similar? Thanks! Celeste RNY 11/19/03 303 current: 153

Only everyday! I come from a family of beautiful, successful people, and then there's me, an overweight college dropout. I've spent my entire life trying to live up to everyone else's expectations, and failed miserably. Then, a few years ago, I went back to school and became a paramedic. Now, with the WLS, I'm trying to physically become the person I always wanted to be. But deep down inside, I can't help but feel I'm still the failure I've always been. People are always telling me I look fantastic. Inside I'm scared to death. Am I really as slim as people say I am? Do they see something I don't see? Right now, the one thing that keeps me together is one special friend. When I start feeling down in the dumps, or feeling like that failure, I call him. He always knows the right thing to say. He reminds me of all my accomplishments, all my successes. Those days when I'm feeling down are the days when I feel the urge to eat. Instead of having a food fix, and get a Jim fix. (name has been changed to protect the innocent...lol) As long as you stick to the plan, there is no reason to worry about gaining that weight back. Your body is adapting to the new you, and that will last. And may I say that you do look fantastic? I read your journal and one entry in particular sticks out in my mind. If I remember right, it's 4/13/04. You sounded so upbeat and happy. Take a look back and it and find that person again. Good luck!

I can relate, I too am struggling with the fear of failure. I have lost 83 pounds now in 11 months and see all the successes of others losing much more or even being at goal before their one year anniversary. I don't see the thinner person in the mirror that others see and fear I will never lose anymore weight and can't understand why I am not happy with the amount of weight I have already lost. I feel better physically and am off my blood pressure and diabetes medications. I went from a size 30/32 to a 16/18 but that just isn't good enough for me. I don't want to be a size 10 but a 12 would be nice. I am struggling with a lot of stress at home which I think contributes to my depression and stress usually holds on to weight. I don't have the nerve or resources to get out of the stressful situation I am in and have been neglecting myself in the process. I am eating right but haven't really been exercising which I am sure doesn't help at all and if I could be more motivated I am sure I would have lost more weight faster. I just hope I can still use the next 8 month window of opportunity to the best of its ability to continue to lose some weight. I have decided to go back to my therapist for help and guidance and if need be go on an anti depressant. As Michelle says you do look fantastic and I wish you continued success in your weight loss and keeping it off. Darlene

Celeste, You look so so pretty. Now 153 lbs. from 303 with a 150 lb loss.That is GREAT!! and I mean GREAT!!. Tell me where in those numbers do you see where you have failed? I'am not seeing it. Can I ask why are you fighting the urge to eat? Eat !! Who says you can't eat. I think you are being to hard on yourself. You know deep down inside that you can't eat as much as you use too although sometimes it feels as though you have eaten a lot, you really haven't. Your new stomach or pouch doesn't allow for it. You and I had our surgeries on the same day my begining weight was 229 and I'am down to 131 a 98 lb loss. I am currently in a size 4 from a size 22 and I am as happy as small child on Christmas Day. I eat constantly, all day long and what ever I want. Yes I stayed at the same weight for several months and just this month I finally lost another 4 lbs. I didn't do anything different it just came off and it will for you too. You aren't even a year Post-Op and your weight loss isn't even done.Studies say that we can loose up to 18 months. Ok so you gain some back, I think it will take alot of years to put on the weight that youv'e lost so far. Now some of us may eventually put back on an average of 10 to 20 lbs. after years or in the future, but I do have to say I think you are focusing to much on failing instead of being happy with your accomplisments thus far and what others might say if you gain the weight back. You are Georgous Girlfriend and you should be spending more time flaunting the new you and being proud of your accomplishments like others are. You'll have more fun and no time to dwell on the fact that you may gain your weight back or fail. YOU HAVE NOT FAILED, YOU ARE WINNING, LOOK IN THE MIRROR OR THE PIC NEXT TO YOUR POST!! and see what we see. De' RNY 11.19.2003 229 Current:131@Goal

I feel the same way. I know wear a size 16 pants (not a W) and I am reluctant to buy anything. I feel like I will automatically start putting the weight back on and it would be a waste. I am being unreasonable, I know that. But after so many failures, I too cannot come to grips with the "new" me. I still act like I weigh almost 400lbs. It is infuriating to both me and some of the people I am around. We just have to make the conscious decision to enjoy it. That is the conclusion I have come to. Just not sure how to start either. Any suggestions? Chris RNY 11/26/03 396/225/???