Body Image???????

Hello All, I need some help with body image. Please let me babble to get to where I need to get. The kids are out of school, the pool has opened. In the summer my family and day care kids almost live at the pool. ANYWAY all of our summer pool friends keep coming up to me and telling me how good I look and all, and asking me how I did it. I tell them about my surgery and they say again how GREAT I look. The trouble is I CAN'T SEE IT!!!!!!!!! I still see myself as Very Fat and like a whale on the beach. Last year I wore a size 24/26 swim suit. This year I wear a size 12. Last summer I wore a 3x shorts and tops. This year even my new medium size shorts are getting baggie. All I see is the droppy boobs, huge sagging tummy, and 'bat wings' that could take off at any time. I've taken pictures and put the 'before and after' side by side and yes my eyes see that I'm smaller but my head is still not REALLY seeing and believing this. I'm 25 pounds away from goal a normal BMI of 24. Is this normal??? Have any of you 'been there done that'??? When will I see what everyone else is seeing???? Thanks for letting be babble. Robin Wren Open RNY 11/17/03 Dr. Haldey 218/140/120-115

Your not alone, I think we all feel that way at times, I know I do. I see the size changes but don't really feel any different. And still disapointed in the stall since the 6 mo mark. About 60 lbs away from goal hopw it starts up again soon! Keep your chin up you've done wonderful.

Size 12 is not fat. If you still can't help but to see yourself that way, maybe counseling would help. Carolyn Moore DS 11/03/03 317/209

Hi, I am having trouble myself, I don't see much difference either when I look in the mirror or see pictures side by side and I am down 70 pounds now. I do notice when I take clothes out of the dryer that my shirts are so much smaller and it's almost like I am washing someone elses clothes, lol, but I know they are mine and now fit me. Hopefully we will all see the differences in ourselves in time. Darlene RYN 11/10/04 309/239/???

All, This is something we all deal with and will have to overcome. What is the best way to handle it? Only you can answer that question for yourself. For me, it was admitting that I was fat. Very fat. But the change is when you decided to be accountable for your actions and make the changes that you needed to make. You didn't take the easy way out. The sacrifices you've made, the sacrifices we all have made have been huge. Now it is time to bring our mind into agreement with our bodies and put the past behind us. The decisions we made in the past had there consequences but now it is time to move on with life. Acknowledge the bad choices and then recognize the good decisions you have made. And recognize that everyday. Make it a point to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you look good and do it every day. Eventually you will believe yourself. John 340/250/???

Hey Robin... I can feel your pain This is what I posted on the main board earlier tonight... "There is a scene in "The Return of the Jedi" in Jabba the Hut's bar where there is a blue dancing alien woman who looks like she has about three sets of boobs down the front of her?!?!? (PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one *****members this... LOL) Well...that's what I'm looking like now; with the exception of being blue and actually dancing in front of a camera.. I look like a marshmallow that's being squished between two graham crackers.. " I'm down 95lbs and over 88 inches and like you; I still see fat. I believe to a degree we all will be this way for a while. We have been large for so long that minds and psyches are having a hard time catching up and adjusting to the visual input we keep giving ourselves when we see our reflections. Take the compliments with grace and give them the best smile you have. Isn't confidence great?!! Have fun at the pool!! Melissa

Hi Robin! I can totally understand how you feel! In February I looked at the "thin" clothes I used to wear years ago and remember that I thought I was "fat" then(size12). I am now very close to wearing them again! But I do have to keep reminding myself how far I have come and that I do look good!!! I want to get to a size 8,which I will, but I feel good now. But you must be comfortable with yourself and how you look! I have seen so many women that are comfortable with themselves that are still big. Look in the mirror everyday and tell yourself that you are a fabulous person, you look great and you love yourself. It really does work. You have to make a concious(sp?) effort to put those negative feelings out of your mind. But eventually, they will be gone! As for the pool...how about a one piece with a sarong? They are so in style this year. And just remember... there are far worse looking people out there. YOu have made a huge change in your life....Congratulations!!!! Lots of Love! Cyndy

Robin, LOL i do this also and i am sure if they would admit it they all do also. I have lost 95 pounds this week and i spend most of my time taking clothes back that i have purchased. I still cannot get in the brain that the 14-16's are fitting. I got a pair of capris yesterday that are size 14. I cannot believe it either. I came from a 30-32 to 14 in just 7 months. I am working on the image thing myself. i have the bat wings that are terrible and the thigh thing what ever you call it. I too came from a 28 swimsuit to the size xlarge this summer. But where do the thigh hangs go. I wear shorts over my bottoms because the thigh hangs are bad. LOL Hang in there we will see ourselves small someday. p.s. what do you tell others when they ask what happens when you are thru loosing? I just wonder what to tell folks? thanks Debbie-East Texas Area