Spouse Threatened by your Weight Loss?

Have any of you experienced your spouse no longer being as supportive as they once were? Or is it in my head? John 340/250/???

Hi I find that mine is happy with my continued weight loss but is sick of hearing about my surgery and the changes that I have had to deal with because of it. Like not being able to eat like I used to and constintly reminding him of my limitations because of the surgery. He has said he is sick of hearing it bla, bla, bla. I try not to harp on it and live as normal a life as I can, but I am not normal anymore as far as my eating and drinking limitations. Am I making any sense here? I do have lots more support from my surgery support group, this web site and friends and family and friends who have had the surgery or are going to. Don't get me wrong, my fiance is happy that I had the surgery, he just sometimes become frustrated in certain situations. Darlene 309/240/???

Up until this weekend, he seemed pleased with my weight loss...that I was feeling good. Then out of the blue he does three weird things: 1. Gets ANGRY with me for not wanting to eat at Taco Bell (normally, he wouldn't care...never has. Yet he got royally ticked off when I said I wasn't HUNGRY) 2. Tells me I'm immature compared to him (though he could offer no examples...and has NEVER said such a think to me.) 3. Tells me I hate his family and I want nothing to do with them (though I'm always the one calling his mom to see how she's doing, or inviting his brother's family over or out to do something...). What brought this all on? The weight loss? Something else? I don't know. But its all really hurt my feelings and I am at a loss as how to react. The last two days he's pretty much ignored except to call me a *itch last night because I got a little snippy about the fact he was ignoring me. I'm really very sad about this all...........but I can't honestly believe its the weight loss. What do you think? -102 lbs and 18 from goal

Well you know - it may be that you are really really beginning to look terrific, and he has not had to think about it before, but you are looking pretty damn good. It could be that he feels a wee bit insecure because he is looking at a rose blooming instead of a thorn bush with flowers. They will never admit that they feel jealous or inadequate and their way of dealing with it is to lash out at the very thing they love. I know how difficult it is, but try to take it in stride. He will come to feel secure and comfortable with whom you are becoming ~ but it will take some time.

John ~ same thing. She may be seeing you in a whole new way. You just have to ride the wave. Find ways to reassure her that she is your sweetheart. My only support group at home is my teenage son, bless his heart. He tries really hard to be supportive and is doing a wonderful job, although he grumbles a bit now and then too. *I* do not want to go to McDonalds. *I* do not want to go to Pizza Hut. Our loved ones become afraid that others are looking at us they way that they look at us. I really think they get insecure, even afraid. It makes sense.

My husband filed for divorce. I really think because he was so miserable and saw how happy and more confident I felt, he just couldn't stand it. Misery loves company. Although he was supportive of the surgery we lost a common bond, food. I decided I was not going to keep our morbid obesity suicide pact. Maybe that is all we had. Who knows. He is Severly MO and I really did not care if he had the surgery or not. He went through all the tests, but decided at the same time as the divorce not to go through with it. Coincidence? maybe. I know it gets tiring when family and friends hear about the surgery constantly. I try not to say anything anymore. Food is such a social activity to most people that it is almost like we have cut ourselves off from that part of their lives, like we are rejecting them. Some people understand, some do not. Having this surgery did not destroy my marriage it did however make it a heck of a lot easier to start over. Good marriages will get better (even if there are a few bumps in the road) and not-so-good or bad marriages will get worse.