I lost my daughter to the surgery weight loss
I am sorry you feel the way you do, but I too think that in 6 months someone doesn't start to do all this at once. She probably always had lesbian tendencies, and now that her self confidence has risen, maybe now she is comfortable with expressing it openly. As for her being self absorbed, well that does happen, because your body is changing, and one would think that jealousy on your part might be part of what you are feeling, or possibly even a loss on your part as your control of your daughter is deminishing. As for the drug use, well... that too is not without question as if it were a problem pre op. I would think that drugs might have been another part of a hidden life she kept private, that she is now exposing. Maybe the things she is doing are so vivid now, because she doesnt have to hide behind curtains now. Maybe she does have coping problems, obviously with drug use, she does. But to think that this surgery was the cause, I highly doubt it. As for her child, much care needs to be given to her, and possibly for the time being you can be a grandmother who shows the grandchild love without putting down the mother who is according to your standards not at par.
If this is har**** is not meant to slam you, it is only a response to how I percieved your post. Maybe you might not see how you are portraying your daughter as I have read your post, but this is the picture that you have painted to me. Maybe many of these Problems that you see now, are deeply related to the reasons your daughter was morbidly obese to begin with. Support post op, is just as important as it was prior to her having the surgery. She will always be your daughter.
Best wishes for resolution to you and your daughters problems, and safety of your grandchild.
Ivanna
Cindy;
sorry to hear of this. I have been following Lauren's web page as we both had surgery in November with Dr. Coirin. I have not seen her at any of the support group meetings I have been to. Do you know if she has gone to any? They are a major part of this life changing event. I hope all works out well.
mark g.
I think the last post again was negative. For people to make such a statement and judgement on what i said is a show their character without even knowing me or my daughter. Knowing my daughter for 21 years and knowing for a fact that her being thin now is the sole cause of her change and outlook and the way she acts and treats people, It is not only her family that is disappointed but family friends and friends she walked away from. Saying bad things does not take cahones, It again is an act of immaturity.
The majority of the readers did understand what I was saying and was not out to down lesbians or anything like that. The combination of things she has put together such as crack use is what has led her family to feel betrayed and disrespected as we all stood beside her during her times of obesity and we paid for her surgery, and anything else to get her through the surgery. Only to have it shoved down our throats by her new thin personality.
With her father and I being into bodybuilding all of our lives do you think we have a right to be rude and disrespectful because we are not heavy, never have been and are in excellent physical shape. NO IT DOESNT and we never have. That is why it is so hard for us to understand why being thin would make you feel you can mistreat anyone at anytime.
Cindy, I am so sorry for your pain. Different people react differently after they start getting thin. It is a terrible thing that your daughter has chosen the path that she has and I know that there is no way to comfort you in this. It isn't the lesbianism that concerns me. Hell, I would rather have my daughter healthy, happy and lesbian than have her fall into rudeness, disrespect and drug and alcohol abuse. I pray that your girl finds her way back to herself before it is too late for her, and I pray for some solace for you, her parents.
Hold on now... Now I know everyone needs to vent.. Maybe that is what is going on here. As far as her changing, yeah, I have too. Not for the worst, but for the better. Sounds like your daughter needs to grow up and find herself quick before she burns all her bridges. It would be hard to forgive, but people do make mistakes. I am so sorry that this has happened to you and your family, but please don't blame the sugery itself. I wasn't able to walk, I had asthma so bad I couldn't play with my kids.. I was a wreck, depressed, and very over weight. I always went to food with my problems. Now I CAN play with my kids, I walk all the time and my asthma, totally under control. Maybe she has fallen into a differerent kind of depression. I agree with what someone had said above with maybe this is her comming out of her shell. Maybe this is her way of paying the weight back ( so to speak) being overweight does make you angry inside and it hurts, well now she can fly.. Granted, she is flying the wrong jet,,,,,but....she will fall on her face and hopefully realize what she has done. Please blame her rather than the actual sugery. It is her fault, not everyone elses, nor the doctors. She must not have been honest enough, or never gave the right signs, or maybe even the right questions weren't asked. I know you want to blame something.. so please just blame her.. Drugs... well they will mess you up anyways.. that again was her choice.. Not being there for her daughter.. that just sucks of her.. but again, she made her bed, she can sleep in it. Her daughter will remember, and that is the sad part of it. Work on healing you guys, then if she ever does come back around, make her do counseling or whatever she needs. She is lost somewhere inside of her own self. Her loss.. I do hope all turns out for you.. and your family. Please keep in touch with us and let us know how you are doing and your family. people on here are just trying to help, not really trying to be mean. Most of us stay the same, and some could possibly be hurt because your post kind of made people think you were attacking what they most believe in and on what gave them their lives back. Again, please keep in touch. And vent all you want, just please realize it is her, not the rest of us. We are all here to help...
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