I need a friend....

I posted a message not too long ago saying that I was feeling great. I do feel good but, I wish I had someone to talk to. I am 2 months postop today and I have lost alot of weight but, I still feel like the same person I was before I lost any weight. I mean I see on the scale the numbers are getting down but, in my mind I still feel fat. Is this normal. I can't stop believing that I still wear the huge clothes and see all the fat when I look in the mirror. People say that I'm looking alot better. I don't believe them. I still look in the higher sizes when I go shopping and I don't know why. Maybe I think that someday I will gain all the weight back. I always failed before, why not now......Help if you can.

Hi, Well your not alone, I am 2 months post-op as of 1-18-04, I have lost 50 lbs. so far and I would love it to be more but you know we have to take one day at a time. I too hear all the time that I am looking better but when I look in the mirror I don't see the change. However, I take heart in little things. The day I was discharged from the hospital I was able to put my rings back on that I had not been able to wear in over a year now they need to be sized down. I can go grocery shopping now without using a motor cart to make it through the store. I no longer need a fan on my night stand so I can breath at night. So even though I don't see the weight change in my appearance in my everyday life things are changing the the numbers. I use to be out of breath just getting up and moving I've almost forgotten what it feels like to be out of breath. An cloths thats beginning to show but not as fast as I would like but it is showing. I think sometimes our big cloths may have been alittle snug and not they are beginning to fit better but to us they are still our big cloths so we couldn't have lost. Trust yourself and look for the little changes the big changes are just ahead of both of us. We have a new leash on life and it's going to be great just relax and watch the pounds melt away.

I understand how you feel. It takes hearing that I look good from other people for me to feel better or even notice. My husband is always with me so he can't really see the change that well. I am a stay at home Mom, we just moved to a new city so I don't have any friends that I talk to. But even when I was chubbier I knew that I had to have something to do that was for me. I get my nails done every 3 weeks and get my hair cut and highlighted on a regular basis. Hanging out at the salon with the "ladies" is the best medicine for me. The salon I go to isn't that big so all us girls talk about everything, we get involved in other people's conversations. I have gotten some of the best sex advice from the older ladies! (no offense if you are an older lady, I know they have sex too, it just shocks me to hear sex advice from someone that looks like my Grandma) Although my husband thinks the whole thing is a waste of money he does not complain hanging out with our little girls (who come to the salon for their haircuts) while I spend sometime on me. I have always thought I was larger then I was, even though I was pretty large. I buy my clothes at the biggest size because I assumed that I was that big. But I have noticed that some of the larger ladies clothes make me look larger now then I am, maybe it is the way they are cut. As soon as I get organized I will be posting all my old clothes because I can't be that big again. What you need (I am guessing, since I don't know you but I know what does it for me) is to get out of your house and do something for you, buy yourself a pink or red shirt to bring some color to your face. I see you live in Ohio, i live in Michigan not very far from the Ohio border, maybe we could shop together someday, if you live close. I will stop rambling, but email me if you want and maybe you could help me up when I am down someday! Heidi

Everything will be great. I was 2 months out as of the 20th as well. So far I have gone from 262 pounds to 216 pounds. I am so happy with the scales, but yes I do wish they read less. However, I have to remind myself that in the past it would have taken me months to lose 5 pounds. I use to wear a 24-26 but I bought a size 20 on Monday. Yes it's still a plus size, but a 20 looks a lot better to me than a 26. I will tell you that I Thank GOD for the little things. I walked 1 mile the other day for the first time in years. I can breathe better, I sleep better & I know it may be too much info ....but I no long weez while having SEX & I can move better (LIFE IS SO GOOD). But I say all of this to say to you "Be Thankful for the Little Things. You've come a long way. Rome was not built over night & your weight was not put on in one night..(Look at me preaching as impatient as I am. But I try to stay positive ..(One of my New Years Resolutions)...)" Good Luck & God Bless

Melanie, Thank you so much for your email. It meant alot to me. I am doing alittle better now. I still feel blue at times but, it is so great to have someone I can chat with. It is now the 3rd of February and I have lost a total of 73lbs. I was wearing a size 28-30, now I am into a 22 and it is getting alittle loose too. I was 317lbs. and now am 244lbs. I have been stuck here for about a week or so. I have been doing alittle more now than I was, so maybe it will help get me on track again. I guess I will just have to give my mind alittle more time to catch up on the realization of the weight that I have lost. You said something about you being able to breath better while having sex. Well it don't bother me none for you to say anything like that. In a matter of fact you are going to be the first person I am going to tell this to so here goes... I have not been able to have sex with my husband face to face in almost 9 years. I am happy to report that I no longer have to worry about such things as that.. OH Yeah! Our time together has never been better. It seems like we are getting to know each other over again. Isn't that wonderful!!!! Life is great one day at a time. Keep up the good work and try to email me back. Thanks for being a friend. Love to You, Cindy

Hi, You are not alone!! I bring 2 bags of clothes every month to my support group and i still can't get past thinking i am fat!! my surgery was 11/14/03 and i went from a size 26-28 to a size 18-20 so far and even though i can shop on the other side of the store i still peruse the racks on "MY" side of the store. i guess at least with me i was heavy for the last 15 years and that's the mindset. my support group says that it can take up to a couple of years to get your mind to catch up with the body. but you know what?? we are getting smaller and we are going to continue getting smaller and the mind will just have to accept that!!!! so don't feel sad, or lonely if you need to talk email me anytime!! your not alone!! we are all in this together!! talk with you soon Stacy

Hi, You are not along i was having a bad day and i read your question . i felt i was not along . because i was feeling the same way . to listen to all of the answers were very helpful . i would be scared to ask questions afraid no one would answer . so i look at all the questions and use the information to help my self . thanks to u and the support crew i have lots of answers to many of my questions. hope the answers helped u as well take care and pray ,it helps we will over come