Spousal jealousy/weight loss

Hello fellow November 2002 WLS members. I had surgery November 26 and have lost 80 lbs so far. I started at 266 and am now down to 186, size 14, about 20 lbs from goal. My loss has not been as much as others posted here, but I am happy with it. My loss has been slow, but I have gone from a size 26 jean to a size 14--each time I pull on my jeans, I really do not believe they will fit, then I button them and am amazed! I find that I now love to exerice. I spend time in the gym and play tennis as much as possible. I have been married for 17 years--love my husband, but recently he has shown sings of jealouly, questioning me about my activities. I invite him to join me in my activities but absolutely refuse to sit home like in the past. I think this is because of the weight loss. Has any of you experienced this is your relationships?

Dear Jean, Congratulations on your weight loss! Your husband sounds alittle immature & needs to be more supportive. Maybe he needs to be told no matter how much you lose that he is the only man for you. Men can be so insecure. They are big babies. Ignore his attitute he needs time adjusting to the NEW lady in his life, the thinner you. Good Luck, Laura

actually i have had more friends be jealous and say weird things and act weirdly around me now... my hubby is more jealous than before and is always so insecure that i am gonna leave him now. So i ask him what the difference is now than before. Did he only get with me cause i was comforting cause i was fat and he knew i couldnt get anyone else? He says no. That he was afraid before. But i dont think thats true. One positive point is when we get up in the morning, its great to hear him say how sexy he thinks i am. But it does get annoying to hear him complain that he is gonna probably lose me to someone that is better fit or better looking than he is. I try to show him and tell him every day that he is gorgeous to me and i want no other. I think men are just very insecure when you start looking better. It's more comforting to them when we arent as in good of health and dont look as good.

Hi Jean, I'm so happy you are so close to your goal! That's wonderful!! Don't you just love it!!! I think it is natural for many spouses to be a little jealous after their loved ones have wls. Before wls you didn't get any attention and now you are getting a lot! I think when that happens we have to turn a little of that attention back to the spouse to reassure them that we still love them just as much as we did before wls. It has nothing to do with being a man or a woman. We all have the ability to be jealous when we see someone have such good things start happening to them. Those spouses who did not have wls are still living their lives as usual. Us wls people are having lots of new and exciting things happening sometimes on a daily basis. I'm sure the thought of being left for "someone better" runs through their heads and they become insecure in the relationship. I think we just need to turn some of our attention back to them so they will know that we still love them and we still want to be with them. Good luck in your relationship Jean. I hope you both live together for a very long time being very happy and secure in your relationship. By the way, my surgery was on November 26, 2002 too. BTC in Ypsilanti, Dr. Bistolarides. So far I have lost 132lbs and I have 32lbs to goal. I started out at 366.8 and I want to get to 190 or 200 lbs. Dan