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Topic: Where do I begin??
The last 48 hours have been a complete nightmare!!! My son and Jen were married almost a month ago. I shared lots of wedding pics with you all. Anyway, my son works for McDonald's. McDonald's opened a new store in Irwin, PA....about 2 hours from Oil City where we live. They asked Dan to go and help train for the grand opening. So, he left last Wednesday night and came home at 8 am Sunday morning. He said he worked 48 hours in 3 days.
While he was gone, my d-i-l, Jen, sent me a message on myspace and said that people were saying things about her and wanted to know what I thought she should do. I told her to ignore them. Well, on Saturday, I found out that people were saying that Jen cheated on Dan with some guy and that she was furnishing alchol to two 13 y/o girls!! I questioned Jen and she said, no everyone is lying and I don't know why. For some reason, I just didn't believe her, but I figured since she was my d-i-l, I would give her the benefit of the doubt.
On Sunday, I went up to their house and Jen told me that Dan grabbed her ankle and bruised her. She failed to mention that it was because she tried to kick him in the private area. Most men do try to protect themselves. Anyway, she told me that Dan didn't believe her and thought that she really did cheat on him. I told her that he hadn't slept in over 24 hours and that he was probably just tired and to wait until he got some rest and then talk to him.
Well, about 8 pm Sunday night, I tried to call Dan and no one answered so I called Jen's cell phone and she answered and I asked her if Dan was up and she said she didn't know because she left at 2 and she left Raven with him. She said that Raven was probably running all around her house! I asked her if she wanted me to go and check on her and she said, I don't care, if you want to. So, my husband and I went up to their trailer and the door was wide open, but thank goodness Dan and Raven were still asleep!! They woke up and Dan told us that Jen wouldn't talk to him about what was being said about her. And for some reason, all sorts of red flags starting going up -- why wouldn't she talk to him if she hadn't done anything??? She did tell me that the 13 y/o's helped themselves to the alochol and that she couldn't get them to stop! When I asked her why she didn't call their parents, she said they didn't want her to. So, I asked her why she didn't take them home and she said she didn't want to drink and drive, so I asked her why she didn't call me and hav eme come and get them and she said they didn't want her to. How much sense does that make???? Then I find out that she dipped Raven's pacifier into alcohol and gave it to her to shut her up! She is TWO YEARS OLD!! Then, I find out that she put Raven into her car seat and took the two 13 y/o's into her car and drove after drinking for 3 or 4 hours!!!!!!!!!! I also found out that one of the 13 y/o's walked in on Jen and some guy and caught them in bed together!!!!
My son is so upset. He's filing for an anullment because they haven't been married long enough to get a divorce and he's filing for custody of Raven. Problem is, he can't get in to see an attorney until next week. Thank goodness he has Raven right now. Jen is throwing a fit and even called Dan's friend and threatened to kill them -- police were called. Strike one against Jen. Jen has called our house numerous times and last night her and her dad sat at the end of our street yelling (stuff I can't even mention on here!). Police were called. Strike two against Jen.
One attorney my son talked to this morning said Dan has a good chance of getting custody if the girls will testify that she dipped the binky in alcohol and that the two complaints against her are filed with the police. What a mess?!?!
Jen sent Dan an e-mail and said she doesn't love him like she used to. Why on earth did she marry him then?!?!?!
My poor son. No mother wants to see her child go through anything like this -- it's just awful.
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I don't even know if any of this makes sense. If you need me to clarify anything, just ask!!! I haven't been able to eat or sleep the last couple of days. I have one of the worst headaches I have ever had in my whole life!
Topic: RE: Dilema
THis is a great discussion. I am excited to see what everyone has to say. I don't have kids...don't know if I will, but I watch all of my nieces and nephews struggle with issues and cry out - hoping to find a way to get through to them before they end up going down the same path their parents have traveled (my whole family has weight issues).
I grew up as the youngest child of 2 obese parents. There were four kids in the family ( I too was the "oops child") and there was a 10 year gap between me and the oldest (a 6 year gap between me and my next sibling). Food, of course was purchased in bulk and as my older siblings were old enough to grab snacks whenever they wanted...I learned the grab it when you can (before the rest is gone) habit. Meals where more or less healthy - but carbs where the prominent feature.
My parents both attempted to diet at various times, yet gave up after a month or so..and while they focused on the diet aspect...they never much focused on activity.
I wanted to be an active child, and yet...due to a busy mom / working mom schedule and dealing with the needs of older siblings, I think I was left to the "tv sitter" way too often. I clearly remember spending entire days on the couch watching tv (something my entire family still does).
I asked to play little league softball as a kid - mom couldn't figure out what team to sign me up for as I lived on the far edge of one district - yet attended school in another. This continued with several other sport requests.
I'm not blaming my parents for our situation. I am just saying I do think that one of my big problems in my "formative" years was lack of active role models.
My main eating issues (sneaking food - opting for fast food regularly - eating huge quanities etc) cropped up when I was old enough to know better and to make my own choices. I don't know that anything my parents said would have made a difference. By the time gym teachers started to drill into us that excercise was something we needed for our bodies it was too late. I was so out of shape that I couldn't keep up with the others in gym class and didn't try. I spent the entire time trying to hide ...I didn't enjoy it.
I am praying that the changes I have made in my life can be seen as positive by my nieces and nephews and that I can instill in them all a love of activity over food. Instead of making dates to take individual kids out for ice cream or dinner and movies like I used to - our "dates" now include hiking, biking, and I am taking my 10 year old nephew (who already weighs 130 lbs) rock climbing in a few weeks.
My brother said something Sunday that just floored me. He was having a talk with his son (the 10yr old nephew mentioned above) about weight and weightloss...and my nephew said "I would never want to do it the quick way with surgery...you end up looking all flabby and weak, like Aunt Doti". My brother was saying that could be a problem and that is why he is "attempting" to loose it slowly (I won't go into that discussion right now)...and not having surgery like Aunt Doti (my sister had lap-band a few years ago) or Aunt Patti.
To which my nephew said "Aunt Patti didn't have surgery - she couldn't have..she doesn't look flabby..and she is always careful about what she eats..and...and...she's not weak...she's the only one who will do all the fun stuff with us, like bike riding and skiing and playing!" My brother, for the first time since my surgery, finally, right there where we sat - admitted that perhaps, in fact, I had not taken the easy way out by opting for weightloss surgery!
Topic: RE: Tuesday Roll Call
Good morning ladies!
Sounds like everyone has a full day planned.
I'm here at work, stuck behind my desk, working on the same spreadsheet I have been staring at for the last two weeks.
I'm planning a mini-escape at lunchtime to get some freshair and a fresh outlook on life as this project has me feeling a bit bogged under.
After work we have a birthday party for my husbands niece. It's a pizza party (boo) so I am armed with a protein shake to enjoy before we had out for that.
I'm excited to hear the little victories in life...way to go on making it to the teens Felicia! And..the bike ride story had me chuckling. I went through that with my first attempt to get on a bike back in June..I have since purchased my own bike and have been riding on those rare weekends when we find some spare time. I LOVE it!
Topic: RE: Just For Fun =0)
OMG! I thik my baby giraffe ate my 3 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts and ran away!
Topic: RE: Tuesday Roll Call
Good Morning!!
Going to be a beautiful day here today. Its 57 degrees right now. Have all the doors and windows open. Its just wonderful.
Stepped on the scale today to a small YIPPPPPPIE moment:
2 1 9 !!!!!!! YES you read that right 219lbs this morning!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I FINALLY made it into the teens. lol Now I just have to stay there..
Have a busy day today. Going to run over and work out at The Circuit this morning once Joshua is moving. Then come home and do our walk. Also need to run to Gianans and get some seed for my Aero Gardens. Time to replant. And we cant forget the trip to Wally World for "special Mouse food". Ahhhhhhhhh yes then there is the normal "gotta clean it" house things to do. Frigs both need a good scrubbing and I WILL get the darn spots off the shower door today. May even get fish tanks cleaned. Its supposed to be nice and cool today. Will be nice to be able to leave the house open. Of course tomorrow its supposed to be 90! GRRR So we will for sure be headed over to the Homeschool KickOff early in the morning tomorrow. Almost have all the bedding washed. I want a new down comforter so maybe Santa is reading this and will bring me one. Other then that, thats about it. I promised Joshua craft day so we will be doing something with that.
Hope everyone has a WONDERFUL day!!
*huggles*
Felicia =0) *Im finally in the TEENSSSSSSSSSSS*
Topic: RE: Tuesday Roll Call
Good morning sisters!
It is to be hot and sunny here today, but not quite THAT hot (86). It is a welcome sight to see the sun after two weeks of rain. It will give the floods a chance to dry up a bit before it is supposed to rain again tomorrow. We are looking forward to a perfect weekend though!
I will be working all day and my mission is to find a pair of 13.5 football cleats for David. If he keeps growing, (he's 14) I will have to order his shoes from specialty stores soon!
Thank you to all who were kind enough to share stories in my post about my daughter.
Lauri----you keep it up girl, you will be riding again in no time. I need to get air in my bike's tires so that I can ride again too. Maybe I will try to get that done this evening.
Teresa---I understand the "divide and conquer" theory with the kids. Todd and I have been doing it that way for years.
I think I will have Riley (my grandbaby) over this weekend and we will have a tie dye party on Sunday.
Have a lovely day all!
Dawn
Dawn Topic: RE: Tuesday Roll Call
Good morning. Its just me and my cuppa (decaf), again this morning. Catching up on the boards. Gym time soon. Then, I am determined to get those old clothes out of this house today! Wish me luck!
So, on Sunday, I decided I wanted to get on a real bike again. I have been spinning for a few months now. I can do it, I can keep up, my endurance is pretty good, my balance is pretty good. All safe, serene, sweating it out.
My brother brings me over a bike. Its a boy bike with the middle bar. I cant even get my durn leg over the bar, my foot gets stuck, and before I can blink, I am on the ground! Laughing my fool head off. My son is horrified. MOM! mom, m o m? Ok round two, I brush myself off, manage to get my leg over the bar. One turn of the pedal, not even out of the drive, and im on the ground again!
Now, I dont give up easily, but I called it a day. Monday, my brother brings me over a different bike. This time a girl bike. I manage one trip around the block. The bike is wobbling back and forth, im holding the handgrips so tight my fingers ache, and I had to go around the block because I was to afraid to turn around anywhere! Can this old dog relearn tricks? That remains to be seen, but my plan is to go to the park tonight and try again!
toodles all......have a great day!
Lauri
Topic: RE: Dilema
Hmm, tough question. And dealing with it with a daughter is even tougher I think. Mother/(yeah right Mom!) daughter issues rear up here. I think the issues are stronger between mother/daughter, than say mother/son. My son has my ex's metabolism, so thankfully he will probably never have a problem.
I can only go by personal experience here. Everyone has had great thoughts on this subject. I have really enjoyed this post, and peoples perspectives.
My mom was always little until the last years before she died. I was always heavy. We were the poor family, there was 5 kids to feed, starches added to meals in a big way, to stretch the food to feed us all. I grew up dependant on carbs. That is the biggest factor in my obesity. I can see it clearly now. So yes, everyday diet, and what they learn to eat, goes a long way in factoring the equation. But your daughter is old enough to decide what and how much to eat now. The responsibility is no longer yours. Its hers. Thats where the problem lies.
I never really cared about being fat. Until high school, and one of my teachers got close with me. We dieted together. She was not heavy, but her plan was to do it together. Coming from someone other than my mother, and getting personal attention from someone who cared about me (other than my family), was what triggered it all for me. We went on a wild and crazy low carb diet. It was just new out then (this is 1976 or so). I dieted down to about 190's then. I graduated HS at around that weight I think. That was an all time low for me. Well, I did get down to 170's for a short time, but that was starvation, I was basically homeless, living on the streets for awhile. Ya know, graduated HS, gonna do my own thing, kind of living. I sure had God and every angel in his group looking out for me then! LOL
My point is, the motivation for change came from someone other than my family/mom. BUT, after all is said and done, the motivation has to come from within. After reaching 170's, I promptly, and over years, ate my way to 400's. I made the choice to eat fast food every stinking day. Is there a nutrition/fit program you can look into? A kids exercise program? Something to that effect. Like someone else mentioned a camp maybe? My mom sent me to WW for the first time at around age 10 or so. I realize now, how much she had to sacrifice just to find that money to send me. She did without, so I could try and have a "normal' life. No, WW didnt have a lasting effect on me, but it planted seeds for change. Any little seed you cant plant in your daughter will help. With any program you may find, there is a chance that someone in that group will be able to find the right words, push the right button, inspire a change for your daughter. Teen years for mother/daughter relationships are the worst. Can someone other than yourself, get her interested?
OK long winded this morning. Just wanted to add an idea or two!
Lauri
Topic: RE: Monday Roll Call / Weigh In Day!!
Felicia,
We live in the country so an occasional critter crawls into the house. I also have 8 cats, all black, all inside only furbabies. Those occasional critters never stand a chance of surviving. If your *special mouse food* doesn't work, I'll loan you a couple of my hunters. Good luck.
Topic: RE: Just For Fun =0)
2 blood hounds and an average two year old
I am getting close to losing Arnie! Gosh he is only 235 pounds? He sure looks bigger. That must have been in his body building/Mr. Olympia days (or Mr Universe or whatever his title was). Except for his muscles, he was a very small man. Course I havent seen him lately. He could still be trim. But he sure looked like he weighed more than that in the Terminator movies. Not in a bad way, just doesnt seem to be that low.
Lauri
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