worried...

I dont know who is checking the board still but I was hoping for some support. I feel super depressed. I gained 5 lbs over the holiday.. The thought that I could actually gain freaked me out. It is so my fault.. I ate so bad.. I ate alot of candy. Our office was full of it.. I got it as gifts.. It was just so much... every where.. Seems like I can eat so much more.. Almost as much as a normal person. I can have about 2 cups of soup over a hour of time. isnt that alot? I can eat a bag of chips in one sitting (single bag), why do I even want to do that?? why would I even buy it to eat it?? I think my "fat girl" has returned.. I so can not go through all of this to gain weight back. My family would never speak to me again. I have returned to my roots as of today. tracking everything I eat.. Created a spreadsheet again. NO MORE CANDY.. But I actually feel like I use to when I started my old diets.. Like I need to have just one.. screw this diet.. old feelings.. you know what I mean? It just sucks.... Anyone feel the same? Having any trouble yet? Maybe it is period time,... maybe thats why I have gained a few pounds and feel depressed.. I still shouldnt eat all that crap though.. what is wrong with me?? Tiff

Calm down. You caught yourself, before 5 pounds turned into 10, which turned into 20...you know the routine. STOP IT NOW!!! Get back to the basics. WATER, WATER, WATER...PROTEIN, PROTEIN, PROTEIN!!! Track everything. Flush out the carbs. I've seen those platau buster diets on here, try doing that to get back on track and get the scale moving in the right direction. You can do this and don't beat yourself up. If you keep doing it, don't worry about beating yourself up...I'll fly to Cali and beat you up, myself. I have had some sweets and chips, too. I only have a few and start each day with a protein shake. I am afraid to gain weight back, so I get on the scale EVERY DAY!!! It won't sneak up on me now. For a snack make yourself a yummy coffee drink. I mix 1 oz of SF Davinci Syrup (I actually use Starbucks SF Cinnamon Dolce), 1 oz of SF French Vanilla Coffee Creamer, 1-2 oz of decaf expresso and 8 oz of Skim milk. Top off with ice and YUMMO!! Sweet, refreshing snack that is nothin' but protein. I also like to snack on shrimp ****tail. Great protein source and I feel like I am treating myself. Get some tips on protein snacks to replace the junk you are eating. I even bought a bag of Pork Rinds to snack on when I want chips. You will be OK. Try to find a support group. Don't throw in the towel. We are here for ya, sista!!! Hugs, Tabby

Thank you Tabby.. At first I wasnt going to say anything to you guys cuz i was so embarrassed.. I did really good today though.. I didnt eat one piece of candy.. I feel so much better.. Not so depressed.. I only had about 1000 calories.. and I ate what I normally ate.. No Crap.. Went back to what I use to eat at 6 months post op.. minus the bag of dorritos at 3 pm and all the candy in between i added over the last 6 months. It still doesnt make sence that I gained.. I really dont think that there is any way I could eat enough to gain.?? Do you? Wouldnt I have to eat like 2000 calories to gain? I couldnt do that if I tried. So I dont know what the issue is.. I am sure all that candy and crap didnt help.. This guy at work made me homemade chocolate cover pbutter ritz.. oh my gosh they were to die for and didnt make me sick at all.. ANYWAYS.. The past...right... I am back on track now.. I would love to see you in Cali but not to beat me up and leave.. hee heee.. Going to go run tomorrow.. Got new running shoes.. Thank you for the love and support... Tiff

Oh Tiff!!!! I DO hope you are feeling better today. Please don't beat yourself up over a 5 pound gain. Step away from the garbage and get back on track. Even small bits of garbage add up. Now......an OCCASIONAL treat is OK and even expected. You can not deprive yourself for the rest of your life, but not every day. As far as your question about calories, I have the same problem myself. I have been at a stall since the middle of August and the equation just does not make ANY sense to me. Eat less + exercise more=weight loss......right????? Apparently not. I have actually been advised to eat more to make up for some of the calories I am expending with exercise and to eat more often. I just started really working at tracking everything last Thursday, and I actually lost 4 pounds by Saturday, but 2 came right back yesterday. So, I am again at the 162 pound mark. The best we can do os the best we can do. As long as you know that you are working your tool to the best of your ability, I'm sure those 5 pounds will disappear soon. I just want you to know that you are NOT alone, we are all here for you and for each other.... Please have a better day and week! Dawn

Thanks Dawn, you are so sweet. I really appreciate the support. I think I am back on track. I feel better today.. We will see if I can get back down a little next week.. Luvs and Hugs! Tiff

I stalled back in the summer also. I know I am still losing inches, but I want to see fewer lbs on that scale as well.

Hi Tiff, The holidays were horrible when it came to garbage snacks!!!!!!! I am glad to hear you are doing better and feeling better!! PLEASE don't every feel embarassed to come to us here on this board! That is what we are here for! SUPPORT!!!!!!! Keep us posted on how you are doing! Hugs, Holly

Thanks Holly!!!! I love my October Sisters!!! Luvs and Hugs! Tiff

HEY TIFF, HONEY, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, I'M IN THE SAME BOAT AS YOU ARE, AND I'M SURE WE'RE NOT THE ONLY ONES. THE HOLIDAYS WERE VERY DEPRESSING FOR MY SISTER AND I. I'M SURE IF YOU'RE A REGULAR READER YOU KNOW THAT OUR MOM PASSED AWAY LAST MAY, SO THIS WAS THE FIRST CHRISTMAS WITH OUT HER. LIKE YOU, THE FLOOR I WORK ON AT THE HOSP. WAS, AND STILL IS FILLED W/ SABATAGE, COOKIES, CANDIES, PIES, CARAMEL POPCORN, etc . . . AGAIN, LIKE YOU I'M ONLY HUMAN AND COULDN'T RESIST TEMTATION. AS A RESULT I'VE GAINED 3 POUNDS AND LIKE YOU STARTED FREAKING OUT. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT WE'D BE WORRIED ABOUT GAINING "A FEW POUNDS." I LACK ALL MOTIVATION, WHEN MOM WAS ALIVE I'D WALK EVERY DAY, NOW? WHO CARES? I TOOK A WALK YESTERDAY AND SHOULD DO THE SAME TODAY, BUT AGAIN, NO MOTIVATION. I'M TRYING TO GET BACK IN THE GROOVE WITH EATING AND DRINKING. WE DIDN'T GO THROUGH THE SURGERY AND HA*****ANGES TO SCREW THINGS UP NOW. ALTHOUGH, IF I'M REALLY CRAVING SOMETHING I'M NOT GOING TO DENEIGH (sp) MY SELF, OTHER WISE THAT ITEM WILL BE ALWAYS ON MY MIND. I'D BE INTERESTED IN HOW MUCH EVERYONE ELSE CAN EAT, AND HOW MUCH THEY ACTUALLY DO EAT AT EACH MEAL. I FIND MYSELF GETTING MORE AND MORE HUNGERY EVERY DAY, I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S BOREDOM OR I'M ACTUALLY HUNGERY? SO, LIKE YOU I'M GOING TO START TRACKING MY INTAKE AND TRY TO GET MOTIVATED TO MOVE MORE. THE ONLY THING THAT I DO, AND WILL CONTINUE TO KEEP IN THE HOUSE AS A SNACK IS DARK CHOCOLATE M&M'S. NOT ONLY ARE THEY ANTIOXIDENTS BUT THEY, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, HELP W/ MY CONSTIPATION. ANOTHER THING I KEEP AS A SNACK ARE SUN CHIPS, THEY'RE WHOLE GRAIN AND AFTER 5-6 I'M FULL AND SATISFIED. I'LL STOP RUNNING OFF AT THE MOUTH FOR NOW. HOPE YOU AND I AND ANY ONE ELSE WHO HAS BEEN BAD GETS BACK ON TRACK. STOP KICKING YOUR SELF, YOU'RE ONLY HUMAN. DONNA, SFY

Oh Donna, I am so sorry you had a hard Christmas. I heard it gets easier.. I am so glad you guys all understand and we are all in this together.. The support has made a difference.. I still havent had any candy.. So that is a good thing.. It is every where in my office.. Hang in there and thank you for being there for me!!! Luvs and Hugs! Tiff