Update

Good morning, Yesterday was rather interesting. We weren't really sure what to expect. Dan's attorney said she was going to get him some visitation, but she wasn't sure when...etc...she knew that Jen's attorney had suggested 50/50 custody, which Dan was thrilled with but we weren't sure when it was going to happen. They went in front of the judge and Dan's attorney said they hadn't reached an agreement yet on some things but felt that they could within the next week or so. Then she said she wanted Dan to have some visitation and the judge said ok, can he have her today? Jen said no because they had some "property" that needed to be taken care of first...the judge looked at her and said, I don't understand what property has to do with the welfare of this child..." Jen didn't say anything and after a few moments the judge looked at her and said, If he doesn't get her today I will grant him full custody immediately. So, DAN HAS RAVEN FOR THE NEXT WEEK!!! We were not prepared to have her so my husband had to run home and get her car seat! Dan is not to have any contact with Jen in any way except in the exchange of RAven each week or he could face 6 months in jail and a thousand dollar fine. WE have already arranged it so that he won't even have to see Jen when he returns/picks up Raven...someone else is going to do it for him. I think he feels like yesterday was a mini victory for him...Jen was PISSED!!!!! She was not prepared at all to hand Raven over to him....I think she thought Dan wouldn't get any custody at all because of the PFA but she was wrong...Dan is filing for divorce through this attorney this week....Jen will be PISSED again when she gets the papers....I hate seeing my son go through this...it is so sad....and you can see it in his face....but he told me he can't live this like....he said if he were to take her back, everytime she would get mad at him this is what she would do....We go back to court next Wednesday to see if they can settle the property that belongs to him and what belongs to her....thank you for your kind thoughts and encouraging words...it's a long road ahead of us, but I know we will survive! Holly

Hooray! Raven is home for a week!! I'm so sorry your family is going through this, but it sounds as if Dan is doing everything right... Staying calm and jumping through the hoops. (On the other hand, annoying a judge is NOT a good way for Jen to start this whole process) Enjoy Raven this week. I'll keep you and yours in my prayers.

Thank you for your prayers. Dan made one of the biggest decisions of his life....he is filing for divorce. I asked him if he was sure and he said that he is....so, he is meeting with his attorney on Monday and she will file the papers for him on Tuesday....a certifed letter will be mailed to Jen the same day. I also found out that Jen and her attorney would rather have the custody week be from Monday to Monday instead of Wednesday to Wednesday, so they agreed to let Dan have her until next Friday -- he will have her 2 extra days and then Jen will have her 2 extra days as well....we enjoyed her more than you will ever know last night!!! I am so glad I can come to my October sisters .... Hugs, Holly

Oh Holly......... I am SO happy to hear about a judge *****ally cares about what is best for the CHILD!!!!! You hear SO many stories about judges who do not listen and just leave the child with the mother. I am very happy for you and Dan! Divorce is never easy, but in the long run, it may very well be the best thing for Dan and Raven. Great to hear the good news! Dawn

Hi Dawn, Our pastor told us that over the years Judge White has come to realize that the PFA's that women file are not always correct....I could tell that when I heard him speaking to my son.... Dan's attorney is going to file divorce papers for him next week....I can guarantee that Jen is not expecting it! Thanks for your prayers and good wishes....I am so glad I can come to my October sisters!!! Hugs, Holly

I am so happy that there is a bit of positive news in this horrible situation! Enjoy your're time with Raven, love on her as much as possible! I'm sure you all need it!

Dan made the biggest decision of his life -- to file for divorce. I asked him if he was sure and he said that he was. He said he doesn't want to live like this and he said everytime she would get mad at him this is what she would do to him. His attorney is going to file the papers next week and I can guarantee that Jen has no idea that's what his plans are. We are loving Raven!!!!!! She is so darn cute!!! She got more hugs and kisses last night than I bet she has in her whole 2 years of life!! LOL.... I am so glad I can come to my October sisters! Hugs, Holly

oh, holly...I'm so glad that you got the first score of the game...if you know what I mean. It is good that the judge was thinking of the welfare of Raven and let Dan have her. Sounds like he is on to Jen. I hope that everything else goes as smoothly as possible for you and your family. She's going to get pissed from all that is going to go down, but I'm sure that Jen is going to end up shooting herself in the foot. GOOD FOR HER!!!! Just keep reminding Dan to keep his cool and things will work out. I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. All my love, sweetie... Tabby

Hi Tabby, I know exactly what you mean!!! It's just the beginning of a long road, especially for Dan. It broke his heart to see Jen in the courtroom yesterday....but he did make the decision to file for divorce. His attorney is going to file the papers next week and I know that Jen has no clue that's what his plans are. I asked him if he was absolutely sure this is what he wanted to do and he said yes....Dan thinks Jen will shoot herself in the foot, too! As hard as it is for Dan, he is handling things much better than I expected and I am very proud of him! I told Patty, I think Raven got more hugs and kisses from everyone last night than she has in her whole 2 years of life!!! Thanks for your thoughts and prayers....they more more to me than you will ever know!! I am so glad I can come to my October sisters!! Hugs, Holly

Holly, you should be very proud of your son. He has been making tough decisions, all based on his love for Raven, without thought for himself. Somehow, thats what kids do to parents! LOL I have been so busy lately, just getting caught up on the board now. It sounds like things are finally looking up a bit! Hang in there, support Dan as much as you can, be there for him and Raven. It will all work itself out.