Cheating?

I've seen others make reference to cheating and I'm wondering...what do you now consider to be cheating? I haven't had sweets or junk food since surgery, mostly because I'm not yet ready to find out whether or not I dump...what if I don't??? And I haven't really been very tempted...till recently, when I passed a box of Cadbury chocs in work and could suddenly remember just what good chocolate tastes like...yikes! A quick trick to overcome that: have a couple bites of "chocolate" protein bar. It tastes nothing like real chocolate and puts a real damper on the whole idea of it! I will occasionally have a sf ff flavored coffee from Starbucks, but I don't see that as cheating. Sometimes I eat more nuts than I should...absently. Gotta watch that. Or too many snack crackers, but these are very low in fat and sugar...still, again, I know I must be very careful about these. I have eaten a tiny bit of rice with Chinese food, which I know I shouldn't. But I try to keep the idea of "cheating" out of my thoughts...that's diet thinking and I don't want to do that any more. I view it more as an imperfect choice...imperfection is normal for the human species Anyhow...what do you consider "cheating" these days and how do you talk to yourself if you've done so? Lisa

For me, cheating is...... taking a bite of something I know I shouldn't eat, example: ice cream, cake, sweets (my body can handle it, my brain can't) eating a chip just to taste it, I know I can't eat just one, so I stay away from it. Those are my biggest cheats.....I don't do starbucks, but I do indulge in dunkin donut iced FV decaf coffee, sometimes 3-4 times a day. My hubby says he'd rather pay for my DD coffee habit than a pack of ciggys a day lol. I'll have my coffee plz ICED. Molly

Thanks, Molly. Does decaf hit the spot for you, in the way that regular coffee does? I usually drink one cup of regular per day, but might add a second later in the day. On the couple occasions, since surgery, when I've had a third, I've felt all shaky inside! That never used to happen. Lisa

The decaf is great for me. I think it's mental too, but I had the caffeine once and I about had to go home, I was dizzy, nervous, anxious, my heart was racing, cold sweats, i'll take decaf every time lol.

Okay...trying this a second time. I wrote a long and thoughtful reply earlier and OH decided to work on the site about the time I pressed submit, so it didn't go thru. I'll try to recreate it.....but am not sure I can. LOL Basically, I didn't have this surgery to be on a diet for the rest of my life. I did it to be healthy and happy and to live life. I'm getting there. One day at a time, one baby step at a time. I want to be "normal" whatever that means. I watch my hubby who is "normal" in his weight and attitudes about food. He eats whatever he wants, whenever he wants. But, and this is what's important, he controls what he eats. If he wants chips, he has chips. He puts out a reasonable amount on his plate with his sandwich and that's what he eats. I've checked the bags and looked at his plate. He takes ONE serving. I have rarely seen him take seconds of chips. He may have a second sandwich, but rarely will he go for seconds on a less healthy item. If we have cake, he will have a small slice. And, most of the time, now that I don't eat cake, we end up throwing away half a cake as my husband and children control their food, it doesn't control them! I'm learning by watching them. So....you ask, do I cheat? Depends on your definition of cheating. Do I have chips? Yes. I buy the small bags of chips. When I want some, I have ONE bag, no more. I try not to do this often. How do I talk to myself about it? I don't. Unless I catch myself eating out of boredom, or going back for a second bag of chips. Then, I am kind to me. I remind myself that I need to make healthy choices. And, if I can't or don't have the willpower, I throw things into the garbage until I have control again. To me, "cheating" is a word that someone who is dieting uses. I am not on a diet. I am choosing to make healthy choices for the rest of my life. Will that ever include things like chips, sweets, etc? Yes, it will as I don't plan to deprive myself. That was one of the things that led me into spiraling out of control with my weight. Will I ever eat large amounts of those foods? NO! It will be a small amount and will not be a daily thing. After all, if you watch people who are healthy weights, they eat these things. Just not all day every day. I doubt I will ever drink another soda. I don't want them. This is not deprivation to me. And, I have doubts about eating many sweets in the future as well. I haven't so far and have not felt deprived. Honestly, I'm too scared of dumping to even try to eat sweets. I have had chips, crackers, white bread (we were out of wheat and I dearly wanted a sandwich), etc. I have found that I can control them and my cravings for them. So, I do have them sometimes but I prefer to make better choices for my health. Hope that answers your question and didn't belabor the point. Susan

My thoughts exactly. People ask me all the time if I will ever be able to eat "normally" again. I tell them I wasn't eating normally to begin with so No, because I am eating what is healthy and normal now. My "food police" sometimes drive me insane. They are always asking if I should or should not eat something. I don't eat anything on purpose that will cause me to have a dumping reaction. I have only had the problem lately where I just don't want to eat. That is when protein shake comes in real handy. I haven't been drinking my shakes like I should. I guess I have just gotten bored with them.

Susan, thanks for putting so much thought into this - twice! (That's frustrating, isn't it!?!) I'm right with you on the idea of "cheating" and the desire to live a "normal" life. I also do my best to avoid the thoughts and language of dieting. It really was dieting that got me into trouble to begin with...I tend to believe that had I never begun a diet in my life, I'd have been much healthier! Now that food is no longer repulsive to me, as it was for a few months there, I find that I still love good food. I see myself eventually incorporating back some of the foods I've sworn off for the first year. I am not on a diet. Even now, I love going into a gourmet shop and picking up some gorgeous cheeses and such. I find I am much more likely to just buy a serving or two of an item. Funny moment: I recently asked the man behind the counter for a "handful of olives," then I noticed the size of his hands! I quickly held up my little hand and added, "My hand full!" I try to make wise choices based on self-knowledge. Like, in the drug store yesterday, I picked up a box of cheese crackers...fat content not too bad, low sugar...and I almost bought it, but then I thought: I can totally see myself picking absently at these and filling up on them instead of getting my protein in! So I put them back. You make a good point about prefering to eat right. I WANT to give myself good nutrition. It feels good, physically, mentally, emotionally. And I DESERVE to feel this way! Lisa

-My 2 Cents- I had weight loss surgery so I would never have to "diet" again. There fore if there is no "diet" there is no "cheating". I am "allowed" to eat anything I want to eat but I "choose" to eat only certain things and leave other things out of my diet. I do not allow white flour products, white pasta products and white sugar products into my house unless I am out to eat or getting take out ( we do this every Friday night) then its a special occasion which is were I "allow" myself to eat things that I normally "choose" not to eat. Cheating is for dieters. I am not a dieter, nor will I ever be one again so there are no "cheat" foods for me. I wont set myself up ever again to have a "wagon" to fall off of ever again... -My 2 Cents- *huggles* Felicia =0)

Felicia, I'm right there with you on that. No dieting. No cheating. by the way, your before & after pics are just amazing Lisa

I feel guilty sometimes eating something that I shouldn't. I to really try to eat things that I know isn't going to cause much harm. If I want something sweet I try a rice cake or fruit. Fruit is natural sugar and does not bother me at all. A lady that I know came into the store the other day. I used to work with her at my job before I went to Walmart. She asked me how had I lost so much weight. I told her that I had Gastric Bypass. She had it in 2000. Lost a boat load of weight and had plastic surgery done on her tummy and arms. I think she got too low in her weight. She still looks good but told me that she had gained back 25 lbs and was now talking to a doctor to have the band done. She says she is now able to eat all of the stuff she used to eat and it is getting her in trouble. This really scared me!!! What is going to happen to us when we get 7 years out???? Will we go back to old eating habits??? I know we all say we won't but... will we? I just wonder how different her surgery was back then to what the procedure is now. I guess we all must stay focused on what got us in trouble in the first place and not go back into that rut again. I think what really got us in trouble before is the fact that we listened to that little voice in our head that said...."Go find something good to eat!" The problem being was the fact we were not hungry. I am never really hungry when I eat. I wish I could control that little voice or just ignore it all together and let my stomach talk to me instead. I guess time will tell for all of us....one day. All I know is that I never want to be obese again!!!! I feel sooooo much beter without my back bothering me. The doctor did the wonderful job of giving us the opportunity to have this new lease on life...it will be up to us to keep control of our future and making it work for us. Nobody said the upkeep would be easy. Lisa S.