*BEAMS* I DID IT!

I have been having a horrible week. My family is really hard on me and its been a "family" week. Yesterday was especially bad and before I knew it I had fallen back into old habits. Closed all the shades and basically went to bed. Most of the time they make me feel like crawling into a corner, rolling up into a ball and hoping to just fade away. Anyways... Joshua came in and asked me to do something and before I knew it out of my mouth it came. "Not right now honey Momma's tired". O M F G. I couldn't believe it. For that matter neither could he cuz he just stood there staring at me. I told him.. go pick your favorite colored pencil and meet me at the calendar... so out of bed I got and upstairs to the calendar I went. I told him. You and me are headed for the ZOO tomorrow. Again he just stared at me like I had lost my mind since the last time I had taken him ANYWHERE alone was... hmmm... well.. **** I freaking don't remember!!!!!!! Anyways he wrote it on the calendar and spent the rest of the day chattering about us going to the Zoo. Now I could not get out of it. Its on the calendar and I know I cant look him in the face now and say with good reason we cant go. OK I told you that to tell you this... We got up this morning and WENT to the zoo. NOT ONLY THAT! I wore my NEW PANTS and my NEW SHIRT!!! As Donna said I held up my chin, asked J how I looked and as the most awesome little boy in the world looked at me up and down and said " You look beautiful!" I beamed and out the door we went. NOT ONLY did I go to the zoo in my NEW, ACTUALLY FITTING, CLOTHES I walked the wholllllllllllllle way with out sitting down. HECK I even jiggle wiggled a jog over a bridge as we raced... OK so he won but I DID IT. Once we were done there I actually had enough energy left to go shopping for groceries. Hubby will be so surprised as he doesn't have to go now for me. I have to say its been an awesome day. And I sit here beaming as I type this along with sucking down a handful of Go Tabs to counter act the pain that just about every muscle in my body is screaming at me LMAOOO but I DON'T CARE! I did it. And not only did I do it I did it BY MYSELF with my NEW CLOTHES on to boot! Thanks for reading... *huggles* Felicia ~ hobbles off to find a soft place to die lol

It is great to read how you faced your demons and overcame it!! We all have our "skeletons" and it is nice to know that we can beat this. Being obese is not just about the food, and that is no different for anorexics. Congrat's on your beautiful day with you son. That is a memory you will both cherish for years to come. Tara

OMG Felicia!! I am so proud of you. YOU DID IT!!!! You should be so proud of yourself for your accomplishments. That is a lot of work to go to the zoo and walk the entire time. I bet your son was beaming, too. Congrats on the WOW day for for wearing your new clothes. Hugs to you, Tabby

UNREAL !!!! That is so fantastic that you conquered more of your demons. To go out all day with your son and be able to do all the walking ,be confident about it and to have so much fun. Wow....... This journey is just so amazing. So proud of you and thanks for sharing with us. Lots of love......Gay

I am so proud of you! Aime

FELICIA, HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!!! GIRL, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. WHAT A GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENT. I BET YOU ROCKED IN THE NEW CLOTHES. I SWEAR (sp?) I'M GONNA FLY OUT AND BITE THAT JOSHUA, I LOVE HIM ALREADY AND DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM. SEE, CHIN UP, ONE STEP IN FRONT OF THE OTHER AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT YOU'VE WALKED A MILE, THEN TWO, THEN YOU'RE RUNNIG A MARATHON. I KNOW HOW MUCH OF A STRUGGLE IT IS SOME DAYS, BUT KEEP LOOKING TO THE FUTURE, SEE YOUR SELF IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS OR A YEAR AND WHAT YOU'RE DOING OUTSIDE, RUNNING AND PLAYING W/ "J". IT'S SO HARD AT TIMES TO GET MOTIVATED BUT YOU'VE COME SO FAR ALREADY. KEEP THOSE POSITIVE THOUGHTS AND ENERGY GOING AND I KNOW YOU WILL SUCCEED. DONNA, SFY

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am sooooooo proud of you!! That is SOOO awesome!!! WOOOO HOOOOO I knew you had it in you!!!!! YAY, Melissa

Wooooo hooooooo!!!!!!! GIRL!!!!! I'm so proud of you!!!!!!! *BIG BIG HUGS to YOU AND J!!!!* What a sweetie he is. "You look beautiful"..... Oh my. Go give him those from me!!!! I love that you turned your attitude around and did something positive not only for you, but for J too. What a wonderful day you must've had too. I am beaming right along with you. New clothes, zoo, walking all day, jogging, grocery shopping....all alone!!! With a smile!!!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, go take a nice hot shower to loosen up those muscles before you go to bed.... Susan

good for you felicia, our boys are a good reason to get up and out aren't they. as you may have read, mine came in my room and downloaded music for me and told me i shouldn't be staying in bed all day. well, today i got up at 8am and at 9 my husband and i put the top down on the convertable and went to the country club to play golf...ok, he plays, i watch. he played 18 holes, and although we took a cart, i did get out at every tee box and putting green and walk a good bit. we had a really nice day. i may not have been at the zoo, but i saw lots of squirrels, blue jays, geese, other birds, and even a dog, lol. unfortunately, i didn't get to see the red fox that lives on the course. it started out nice and warm, but got cold by the time we finished. then we came home for about an hour and then went out again. this time to pick up my neice and nephew to take then to dinner and the local high school musical theatre production. what a great night. we didn't get in until almost 11:30. now it's time to get some shut eye. i'm hoping tht being out all day i will be able to sleep tonight and get into a more healthy sleep pattern. goodnight, and keep on going out and showing off that new body of yours. i know i'm going to!!! nighty night, patricia

Great story Felicia. It put a smile on my face......