Re: little heavy boy article.

I have mixed feeling about the article Felicia brought to our attention. First off I think children belong with their parents if it can be done. They did not say if there was a medical problem with the little boy but let's say there isn't. Mom has not met with nutritionist and doctors like she had been asked to. She is being negligent to the child's needs. Possibly since she is a single mom she feels that the way she shows love to him is by giving him what he wants, which possibly is the food. She is not helping him at all. If he is facing problems now, just think what it will be like as he gets older. Not a good scene. I have seen many programs on TV about children that want the food and take temper tantrums and I don't know how I would handle the situation. I am lucky none of my girls were that way. But one other thing that I was thinking......What if it was the scenario that the mother was starving her child. Wouldn't you want the child out of that situation? She is killing the child by starving it. What is the difference between starving it and killing it with excess food? Like I said, I have mixed feelings with this, but though I would bring up a different point of view on it. The whole family needs counseling and help but if mom is not willing to go, maybe putting the child in a healthy eating atmosphere will help him in the long run. Like a camp or something and if mom wants to see him, she goes to him and in the process is learning new eating habits herself. Then that too brings up the question, what age is too young for this WLS surgery? Just wondering your ideas????? Gay

Are we sharing a brain this morning Gay?? I had many of those same thoughts when I read the article. While I don't necessarily agree with them taking the little boy away from her, she's hurting by giving him the food just as much as if she was not feeding him. Of course, I do think there are ways to keep the little boy from getting the food and hoarding it so he can eat it at night. What about locks on the cabinets? It's a bit drastic, but it sounds like that may be needed in this situation. My other thought is....we aren't in their situation...we have no idea what they are going thru and dealing with. So, it's easy to be armchair coaches and say they should do this or that....but until you live a situation...... I hate difficult situations like that. It's so hard to know what is best. I guess that's where we have to trust the system to work and hope the family gets the assistance they need. Maybe the reason the Mom is missing the appointments is because she's working and can't get the time off....or maybe they have no transportation and it's too far to walk. Single mom...maybe no money for bus fare or cab.....could be any number of things....OR maybe she doesn't feel there's a problem and is hoping that by ignoring it everyone will leave her alone... Who knows.. Sorry, I meant to stop 2 paragraphs ago! I could go on rambling, but I'll stop now. Susan

Heres my take on it... Taking a child from his parents should always be the LAST option. Yes, in my mind the mother IS to blame for Connors obesity but she has shown signs that she is trying.He has lost 10lbs withthe help of a nut....its a start. If I were the judge overseeing this case I would require parenting classes for the mother to teach her how to control her son. What kid wouldn't like to live on junk food? But it is the responsibility to say NO. If he is manipulating her to get his way food wise then she needs to learn to control him. I would have them attend nutritional counseling classes as well as joint and individual therapy...to deal with moms depression and to figure out why connor is a 200lb 8 yr old....only if these steps, in addition to a structured diet, are not successful would I take him away from his mother. She is not intentionally hurting him and I read of no neglect, it seems that they just need to be educated. I hope they give the public updates on this matter...

If he is taking the food and hiding it, then she shouldn't be buying it. An 8 year old should not be able to get junk food on their own. He shouldn't have money and if she just stresses to other family members that he cannot have it, then he *shouldn't* have access to it. I know that my kids like junk food. I don't buy it as much as I used to. I have cabinets in my house that have magnetic childproof locks on them. You cannot get in them without the magnets and even then, you have to place the outer magnet on the outside of the cabinet door to release it. My MOM can't figure out the locks, my kids can't do it, either. If there are snacks I want to limit the kids with, I put them in these cabinets. My daughter knows the snacks are in there and tries to get them opened, but can't. I have put the magnets out of sight, so they don't have them to "practice" with, or to lose...hee hee...or else I won't be able to get them unlocked. The mother does need counseling on how to manage and care for her child. I know that my kids have thrown fits when they want certain things, but I am getting better at ignoring the fits and not giving in. Sometimes I will give in, but not to the tune of 200 lbs at 8 yrs old. I hope they find help for the mom and are able to keep the boy with her and help save him. If he continues on this path, he will face medical problems and teasing. Not a good road ahead of him. I, too, hope they keep the public posted on how he is doing. Just my 2 cents!!! Tabby