Not a happy camper

Thank you for saying so, Susan Phone...hmm...how about: "Oh, I'm sorry, I must have mis-heard you! It sounded like you just asked me an **extremely** personal question!" Lisa

GOOD one Lisa!!! Now I need to tattoo that on the back of my hand so I don't forget what to say next phone call!!!! Thanks!! Susan

I learned a long tie ago that the fastest way to let everyone kow is to tell one person not to tell. I have had some health issues in the past where I had to let someone in my family know what was going on. Needless to say- my mother found out just like that. I have not hidden anything about my wls because I feel it is a way to educate others that there is another way to deal with this demon. I guess the talk would be about my failure if I wasn't making it successfully in this journey. So far, no one says a word to anyone. I'm sorry you are feeling so violated by your in law family. aime

Thanks so much for your kind words Aime. It means a lot to me. Normally, when we ask his parents not to say anything, they don't. I guess dh just didn't realize how sensitive an issue this is for me, so he didn't tell them I didn't want it spread across the countryside. Oh well....Live and learn.... Susan

Oh Susan I so feel your pain. I have not hid it from anyone but not advertising it either. I am so sorry that you have had to deal with it. I know it is frusterating. I sent pictures home to Mom and Dad and said.....do not show anyone please....stupid stupid me...Dad emailed them off to everyone! UGH. So much for the shock value next time I go Time huh. Oh well like someone said easiest way to let people know is to tell someone not to tell anyone. Most of my family knows but I would be FURIOUS if anyones from highschool knew. I have not seen any of them in years so not many know how big I got and it is just fine with me. Did not like many people in high school anyway so did not go to the 10 year but just might have to go to the 20. Just to show off the new me and my handsome hubby tee hee . I know the drama of an in law too....that would be my MIL. She has told everybody she can! Oh well. I got tired of people asking me so I just say.... "wow...ok you tell me what you weight and how much you have lost 1st then I will go"...of course that is if I am feeling *****y but my other response is "wow I thought you knew it was RUDE to ask a woman that!" It is funny how a lot of people would not dare ask someone that in normal cercemstances but after WLS they have no quams (sp) about asking at all. Gee when was the last itme you walked up to someone and started with how much have you lost or what are you down to now. Just funny to me how things change. I No worries about the novel...you said you wanted to finish that book....just consider this a warmup for getting back intot it! OK enough rambling...sorry if i did not make sense....speaking of inlaws..MIL has been here with us in our 527 sq ft apt ALL WEEKEND!!!!!!! Love and lots of hugs, Melissa

Melissa....first of all *BIG HUGS* for the mil being there all weekend in a small apt. I feel for you sweetie!! I love your responses to people. Wish they would work on my SIL. Unfortunately, she would think I was joking and would persist. In fact, the whole family has this "thing" they do on birthdays....they DEMAND the birthday person tell their age and weight. Start a chant even...AGE AND WEIGHT...AGE AND WEIGHT....You don't even want to know how I responded to that the ONE time I was there on my birthday - this was way before WLS. Needless to say, they haven't done it again...or if someone says it - they get the look of death and it quickly stops. I have scared dh's family more than once with my sharp tongue. I think they all feel sorry for him. Little do they know it's only THEM that I'm mean to. I agree with you...isn't it strange that once people find out you've had WLS they feel like it's okay to ask all sorts of personal questions they would NEVER ask anyone else. Without even prefacing it with "Do you mind if I ask a personal question?" Not that saying that makes it okay, but it's nice to know they are at least aware they are delving into personal areas! Susan

HI SUSAN i dont mind people knowing about my WLS, then again, i dont have in-laws anymore! something i REALLY enjoy saying when someone asks "Do you mind if I ask a personal question?" i will respond with, 'yes, i Do mind.' they will look so nonplussed, and i would just stare at them, friendly look on my face. or if someone asks me something i dont feel comfortable answering, i will respond with a: 'sorry, that is personal' and give the straight in their face stare with friendly look on my face. just ignore the awkward silence that follows, you will get used to it eventually! what can i say, it is a gift.

Those are great!! Will try to remember those for when someone asks that in person!! Susan

Susan, My younger daughter once said to me, "Mom, the smartest thing you EVER did was to marry an ORPHAN!!" Do you rememebr Ann Landers, the advice columnist? She once wrote the perfect response to that type of question. Turn to the person and ask THEM - "Why would you ask me such a personal question?" Then turn and walk away. Hang in there Sweety -

Annette!! I think your daughter was right. That was a very smart move on your part. Of course, the fact that you loved him probably played into the equation too.... You know, I've read that Ann Landers response before. LOVE it. Just wish I had the presence of mind to remember it when dealing with people. You know how it goes, you have a complete blank when you are confronted with these people...and then later you think of 100 things you could have/should have said in response. Thanks so much!! Susan