Not a happy camper

Okay..... Dh's family is quite interesting. They are very private people. They tell you NOTHING about what is going on in their lives, etc. Normally, I'm not that way. But, about my surgery I've been very private about it....only telling people I want to know. Well, dh is the one who told his Mom and didn't tell her not to say anything. So it got broadcast thru out the entire family. His Mom and Sister are continuously asking me how much I weigh, what I started at, how much I've lost, etc. I will give them the amount I've lost, but that's all. I've mentioned this is a private matter for me and I don't want it spread all over.... Today my hubby called his sister and I found out she ran into an old friend from college. This person and I are not the best of friends...never were. We were friendly because we had mutual friends, but we were never close. His sister TOLD her all about my surgery, how much weight I've lost, "all about it"....UGH.....I'm totally pissed off. I know I didn't specifically say "PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS"....but you'd think since they never tell anything they would keep their mouths shut about MY PERSONAL PRIVATE MEDICAL MATTERS. Okay....I feel better. Had to get it out here so I wouldn't blow up on my hubby. I know I should've told her to NOT tell anyone...and have now. She knows not to do it again. I'm sure it will be spread thru the entire family that Susan is being a ***** again and doesn't want anyone to know or talk about the surgery. Now...his sister is the fair haired child of the family who does no wrong and is perfect in every way and anytime you say anything at all to her she makes a big production out of it with the other person being the villian and herself as the innocent martyred victim. All I said to her was "PLEASE do not tell anyone else! This is private and I really don't want anyone out of the family to know about it." She then went on for a good 3 minutes making a production on the phone about it all. I know she's now on the phone with her Mom detailing how she made me mad and how I yelled at her (I did speak loudly because I was across the room and hubby was using the speaker phone...but I wasn't yelling AT her...just making sure I was heard!) Okay....sorry for the novel.... Thanks for reading it if you made it this far. Susan

*H U G S * Girlllllllllllllllllllllllll I so feel your pain. I am some what lucky as I have not had to deal with hubbies family for almost 7 years now THANK GOODNESS. We all live in the same town but long story short there will never be a time when they will have an opportunity to even START to begin to know what goes on with us. But if they ever found out gawd help me the entire city would know about it. They are huge gossip hounds. I only told my Mom and Dad cuz I had to since they watched J when I was gone. Of course now I regret that for various reasons. We are HUGELY private and tell no one basically anything if we don't have to so as far as I know.. other then my parents no one yet knows. How long will that last? Knowing my Mother not long. Of course she has no clue how far I have come as we have not spoken since November of last year. ok got side tracked on my own family feud show there lolol. But wanted to tell you I so understand how you feel. Funny how "gossip" will make even the tightest lips wag. *sigh* Hang in there !!! Family is a strange thing. They say blood is thicker then water but so far in my case I have not seen that to be the way it works. *HUGGLES* Felicia =0)

Thanks Felicia. I didn't want hubby to even tell his family - I know how they are - but he did anyway. We really didn't talk about it and I didn't tell him I only wanted his parents to know if he HAD to tell them....I found out a few WEEKS later that they knew...and by then, the entire family and probably most of the small town in AL where they live knows too. I just wanted to be able to go back eventually and just be thin again and not have to deal with the whole surgery issue, etc. Thank goodness with the military we don't live near them. And, won't until hubby gets out of the military. Even then we've talked about how we want to live several HOURS away so we don't have to see everyone that often. LOL Sad, but true. We like living our lives the way we want, without interference. His family is very controlling and tries to tell us what to do, how to do it and when to do it with EVERYTHING.... Drives me crazy. I don't come from a family like that. My parents are there for me, super supportive...but unless I ASK for advice, I don't hear anything from them but positives - whether they agree with me or not. Oh well..... Susan

I dreammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm of not living so close to either side. We are 20 mins ( on a slow driving day) from my parents ( they live in a small town just out side where we are and basically drive by our house bi weekly since thats the only way to get into the city *sigh* not that they would stop ) and not even 10 mins from most of his family except one that is 25 mins away. We live basically right between the 2 sides. Its like being caught between a rock and a hard place for real lol. I hate it. I would move in a heart beat. I love where I live and would not really want to live anywhere else but on the same token would take a transfer out of here in a New York min. My parents were super supportive also but there is usually always a cost for it. Worst thing that I ever did was became self reliant. How I grew up and how it is now is like night and day. *sigh* Family stresses me... period. *hugs* Felicia =0)

I am with ya Susan...I don't like to many people to know but yet I am not afraid to tell anyone. Some people I can't stand and they don't need to know my business. I really don't want most of old class mates to know at all... It will be okay...lots of hugs....

Yup....you got that right. The last time this girl saw me (the old class mate) I weighed 115 pounds....I need to LOSE more than that from start to finish to get to my goal!! I don't really want people who knew me "way back when" to know anything about me. If I choose to tell them, that's one thing. But, I don't want to be the talk of the town. I can just hear it... "Did you know Susan got really fat and had to have surgery to lose weight? Yeah, Janesa said she was HUGE. She said Susan SAYS she tried to lose the weight, but they couldn't tell she ever did. Everytime they saw her, she was eating everything in sight and getting bigger every year........" I can just HEAR it.... Oh well.... Not like I'm going to live near them anytime soon. Thank goodness!!! Susan

Oooh, how I feel your pain! Once my MIL found out I was having surgery, she called just about every member of DH's family (including cousins) and told them I was having surgery. It's frustrating ... it's not like I'm trying to hide it, it's just that I don't think everyone needs to know. Now whenever I see members of DH's family, they automatically ask me how much I weigh, how much I lost, what do I eat, etc. And when we have family get-togethers, I can tell everyone is watching me eat. It's quite annoying!! Hopefully it will get better as time goes by. Thanks for posting! It's nice to see how others are handling the same sort of issues. Jeannette

Thanks Jennette. I agree, it's nice to see that others understand what I'm going thru. I haven't had to deal with the family get togethers yet as they are in AL and we are in TX, but I know the day is coming and I'm so dreading it. And, phone calls are the worst with them....If it's not his mother putting doubts into my husbands head about how me losing this much weight this fast isn't healthy, then it's his sister (whose only weight problem is not weighing enough - seriously, she's 5'6" and weighs about 107) being a royal b**** and wanting to know how much I've lost and how much I weigh now. It's not concern....it's viciousness. She loves to rub it in that I gained sooo much weight and she is still the same size she was when we met in college. UGH...HOW was I EVER friends with that girl????????? Must've been insanity. Only good thing that came out of her friendship was her introducing me to her brother. HE is fantastic. Sorry...there I go ranting again.... Susan

Susan, That sucks. I know I felt awful when someone let it slip to a former co-worker, a vicious ***** that I'd had surgery. Sorry to hear this happened to you. One thing I feel compelled to point out: you don't have to answer anyone's questions about your weight or anything else. In fact, it's rude of them to ask, so a cold gaze or a shake of your head before you turn away is a perfectly suitable response. If you feel like you need to say something, how about, "That's very personal and I don't talk about it." Lisa

Thanks for the ideas Lisa! I'll have to try those on them when we get back to AL for a visit. Now...do you have anything that will work over the phone....other than hanging up...which I've been very tempted to do. Thanks for the support. You are always so kind. Susan