Feeling Sorry for Myself...

Yep...that is exactly what I am doing...why? Well my birthday is Tuesday and all my life all I have ever wanted was to have a birthday party that I didn't plan for myself and well another year is coming and going and guess what that is right no party!!! Yea..I..me..have gotten a few people together for next Saturday night but I had to do it. Not that anyone did it for me or even surprised me....aren't I awful. I have done so much for my friends and my hubby you would think they would think about me but HELL NO!! Forgive me for the ranting... I just had to get it off my chest!!! Well enough feeling sorry for myself and just enjoy the weight loss and being a year older...actually I think I am going backwards starting this year. You think that will work!! Thank you guys for listening!! Love ya!! Hugs,

OK first the stern part... "I have done so much for my friends and my hubby you would think they would think about me but HELL NO!!" Did you do all those things for them so they would do thing for you and give you things or did you do things for them because you wanted to? I do a ton of stuff for people every day because I want to do it. I never expect to get anything back for it and to be frank lol usually don't get squat back but thats ok cuz I feel great about the fact that I did something for them that at least made them happy or helped for a moment or so and that was enough for me. With that said *BIG HUGS* chin up at least you are going into this birthday a hell of a lot skinnier and no party or surprise can change that excitement!!! Besides you can probably plan a way better party for yourself then they every could anyways LOLOL. Get hubby's charge card and "help" him give you a party to remember!! *huggles* Felicia =0)

Dang Felicia...you are right!! I never did those things for anything in return and never will!! I do because I love to do...it makes me feel good! So totally I feel worse...because maybe I am selfish... I love doing for my friends and family it is just me and won't change that for nothing!! Thanks Felicia!! Hugs,

It doesn't take away the disappointment but it does put it in perspective. Its ok ( in my opinion) to be disappointed that no one did anything for your birthday ( which isn't here yet so you don't know that for positive sure something WONT happen lol) but its another to be bitter cuz you gave and they didn't give back. Every year I wish for this or that to happen and have found the fastest way to get what I want is not by osmosis lol And lets face it. We love our men but they just don't think like we do, so expecting a divine moment of thoughtful thinking on such a LARGE scale lol well good luck with that lol. *big hugs* Felicia =0)

Angela, Let's think about the word "selfish" for a second...there's nothing wrong with being concerned about your own needs and wants - I mean, if you're not, who will be? And if your needs are not being met, how will you contribute to meeting anyone else's? It's hard, when your relationship nature is to give, to strike the right balance. And not everyone out there deserves to have what we have to give...that's just a sad fact. If giving is really making you happy, keep at it, of course. But, where there are people or situations that you find yourself feeling hurt and/or resentful...well, maybe you want to examine that relationship and make sure that your needs are being met in it. Sometimes, it's a matter of telling people what you need. When I went back to school, I would get on the phone with my mom and tell her about a paper I aced or a test score, and she would say something like, "Mmm-hmm...your sister's son did this last week and blah-blah-blah." I'd hang up feeling so hurt and disappointed...then, one day, she did this and I interrupted her with: "Mom, this is the point at which you're supposed to say, 'well done...I'm proud of you.'" Well, that had just never occurred to her! It just hadn't been part of my "family role" to be praised! After that, she did begin to give me more of what I needed. There's nothing wrong with having needs and seeking out people willing to meet them. Lisa

*big hugs* Sorry to hear you are feeling down with your birthday coming up. But, like Felicia said...YOU could probably plan and execute the party better than anyone else anyway...so why not just plan a big bash and CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES!!!! Goodness knows you have plenty to celebrate this year!!!!!! BTW, I love your idea of going backwards. I think I'll start that. Instead of turning 40 this summer, I'll be 38 instead. Think I can get everyone else to go along with that idea??? Susan

My hubby said I can't go backwards I didn't have a surgery for that but I told him thaqt everyone thinks I am 27 so I will go backwards till I reach that then go forward....sounds good to me. I love your pic..Felicia!! Hugs,

Angela, Not much to add to what everyone else said but know I am here for ya! Lots of love and hugs commin your way. I am all for the younger thing...but at the same time you could not pay me to go back to being in school again. SOOOOO not into the childish school games and attitudes...ugh they drive me NUTS! Highschool girls are the worst! Lots of hugs, Melissa

I am probably going to be the one person on the forum that relates to what you are saying in your post. I agree that we give to others not for them to give back, but once in a while it would be nice to have those efforts recognized by a simple yet small gesture. I finally had a "surprise" party given for me by my friend when I turned 48. She still doesn't know that I knew about it before hand. It meant alot to me that she gathered a few people from work and some of her family and friends to celebrate my birthday. I had really wanted to have a big blow out party for my 50th. I did go out with some frends the weekend before, but that was the extent of my birthday celebration. I sat home on my front porch reading a book alone the day I turned 50. We do need to tell people what we want because just as we aren't mind readers; neither are they. Let your friends know what you want. Doesn't mean you will get it, but at leat they were informed ahead of time. Happy Birthday Sweetie! Aime

LOL Angela, if my husband or anyone ever had the idea to have me a birthday party I think I would probably have a heart attack! I will be 40 in August and I have always decided to have my parents and in-laws down for a picnic in our yard. It is usually "hotter than the hinges of hell" but I do it just to have a little get together with our parents. I know that I will not be inviting his parents down anymore though after some stuff that they have done here lately so my party list is getting smaller. I used to have parties for my husband, invite his family and my parents but I quit doing it because I was not getting the same treatment. His birthday is in Jan. so I know there will be no picnics and I surely am not inviting them to my house!!! I always had the party at his parents house. I don't think that you are feeling sorry for yourself, it is just a natural feeling and you have every right to be upset. We all know that men and some people just don't get a clue about making others feel good or happy. If you planning your own party makes you feel less appreciated then just say to your husband "Why don't you ever plan a party for me?" And I know your answer is going to be "I don't want to mention it because then he will do it because he thinks I want him to" I know it is not the same as him coming up with the idea himself. I think I will start the backward thing this year to! I am dreading 40 but not like I was before I started lossing weight. I used to feel like I was 90 or so. Now I feel like I am about 30. I would like to shake the persons hand that figured out how to do this surgery Lisa S.