Question...
I so agree with you that if the relationship is good before it will be after and if its bad before it will be worse after.
For me though I don't live for me. I live for my family. Meaning my husband and my son. They are helping me make me a me I can be proud of. If it had not been for them I would never have had WLS. I would never have taken control of my life and done something with it. As low as I got in the last 6 years there wasn't enough of me left to do anything for me. If I had not seen how my actions were effecting my husband and my son I wouldn't have even started looking into WLS. I am the 3rd piece in a 3 piece puzzle and its come to be my time to pull my own weight. My husband is amazing and my son well he is just beyond words of wonderful. I was the cog in the wheel that was making this family not move forward. In 3 months I am closer to my husband then I have been in years. In 3 months I am more active and kind and loving to my son then I have been in years. I did this for them. The perk was that I got to be better in the process. They DESERVED to have a happy and healthy Mom and Wife that participates in their lives instead of sits back and watches life go by. I was the one stopping us from doing things. I was the one that put a damper on everything. I was the one that was always to tired, to angry, to poor me. Now that has all changed thanks to me thinking of my family first instead of myself for once. This is a huge process of finding the old happy, out there, person I used to be so that the 3 of us can enjoy life together, not just so "I" feel better...
Everyone is different though. Thats the cool this about this surgery. Doesn't really matter WHY we did it, just THAT we did it.
Hey are you feeling better today???
*huggles*
Felicia =)
Hi Holly!
My turn to add 2 cents to the pile.
Yes, I've heard it all. You will get a divorce, he will be jealous, things will get worse, etc. People you work with, know, are related to, will suddenly stop speaking to you, hate you, whatever.
My response? My husband loves me. Period. He married me when I was thin and loved me. He stayed married to me thru four kids and gaining an extreme amount of weight and other than being concerned about the HEALTH problems I was having NEVER EVER NOT EVEN ONCE said a thing about my weight because he loved ME, not my weight. So......I don't worry about him. Will he be jealous? Sometimes. He always has been. Even at my highest weight he didn't like other men acting interested. I may not always like him being over protective and jealous. But, I realized a long time ago that one of the ways he shows he loves me is by being over protective and jealous. He's not over the top with it, so we talk about it and go on. When he gets reassured that HE is the one I want for all time, then he's a happy camper.
As for everyone else. If they feel that way, then they are not true friends. If they are family and feel that way because I've lost weight and gotten my health back, then too bad for them. I am not here to make THEM happy. I am here to live my life to the best of my ability for MY family - my husband and children. My parents and in-laws are on board with the program and are super supportive. But, even if they weren't, I didn't do this for them. I did it so I can be here for my children - to watch them grow up, get married and have children of their own. I did it to live a long happy active life with my darling husband. No one else matters.
Hope this helps with your worries.
Susan
Felicia, I am feeling much better besides a little pain in my left side that comes and goes. I hope no one thinks that I totally do everything for me because I definetly want to be here to see my sons graduate from school and growing old with my husband but on the other hand I have always put my family first all of them not only the hubby and kids and for once I did something for me. So all in all everyone will benefit from this not only will I.
Love u guys,
JEALOUS??? MY HUSBAND JEALOUS??? OH YEAH HE IS SOOOOOOO JEALOUS....THE GREEN EYED MONSTER HAS AWAKENED AGAIN!!!! HE IS JEALOUS BECAUSE I AM NO LONGER SITTING HOME WAITING FOR HIM OR TO DO THINGS WITH...I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!!!!! I DO WHAT I WANT WHEN I WANT...NO MORE WAITING FOR HIM!!!! IF HE DOESN'T LIKE IT TOUGH!!!! I SPENT YEARS WAITING FOR HIM AND NO MORE!!!!
HUGS JUDY