Question...

Has anyone had a spouse or family member become "jealous" because of your weight loss? I've had several people tell me that my husband will become a little jealous and that family members will also....It may just be me, but I've noticed that my husband doesn't seem to be as excited about my weight loss as he was at first....but then I worry that I just think that because of what I've heard from others...Does any of this make sense?!? Holly

Yup but not my husband. Dale is awesome. He comes home all the time an asks hows my loss going. Always makes comments about changes in my clothes and looks. Its even inspired him to get moving on himself and make changes. But on the flip side if he comes home one day and doesn't ask lol I cant auto jump to him not being excited for me any more than I can be worried I didn't get something done around the house cuz he didn't make a comment on how clean something was. Just because we expect it doesn't me they know to say it. My best word of advice. 1. Ask him. 2. Don't listen to what others say. No one can tell you what your family or spouse will do but them. Anyone one that says "they will" is full of it unless they have come up with a way to read into the future. And then I want lotto numbers. Go live and enjoy your success. I saw once a comedian say "Men are simple". And I so agree. And to be honest so did my husband lol. He was like YES! THATS IT! We are simple! lol Don't give them credit good or bad for something until you know its fact. (By the way by simple I do not mean dumb. lol) Women spend 90% of their day thinking. Thinking thinking thinking. Men spend 90% of their day doing. Doing Doing Doing. See the conflict? LOL We have been doing this weight loss surgery stuff for the last 2-3 months. And goodness knows how many months BEFORE the surgery. It be comes every day. We live it they don't. They are just along for the ride... Go ask him and see if you are right or wrong. As for the rest of the family. WHO CARES? They either love and support you or they don't. Jealousy is their demon to carry not yours so don't let it spoil your success ok!! *HUGGLES* Felicia

I totally agree here with what Felicia said. I spent some many years caring about what others thought about me that I did not care about myself to change or to make that much of a difference in it all. Where did it get me...no where. You made this choice for the WLS for a reason, do it for you first and who cares what the others think. If they are jealous of you for your wl then maybe that will help them get motivated as well to do something that they would not do (wl, going back to school or whatever the case might be). I would sit down and talk to your hubby about how you are feeling, you will not know unless you do it. Hugs~~ Deanne

I remember back whenever my older sister began to lose weight, her husband got her pregnant...hmm...and told her she should stop doing her hair blonde because he preferred her premature gray...hmm... I think I said something like this recently and I don't recall to whom, so forgive me if I repeat myself: everyone in a family has a certain role, ordained, if not at birth, then early in childhood. Your weight problem may have been a part of yours. When any family member steps out of their role, it upsets the apple cart...leaves a role to be filled. The rest of the family will fight like hell to keep you right where you are. I think that keeps a lot of people from moving on in every way. What I tell myself as often as necessary is, They will get over it! And getting over - that's their job, not mine. Lisa

Lisa do you know my Mom? LOL Your second paragraph fits her to a T! I have fallen out of her "apple cart" and she is SOOOO not liking it lol. But I am like you... thats her issues not mine and I wont let her spoil my success with her lack of self. Felicia

Thanks for your replies! I've been married to my husband for 20 years now and I have never known him to be the jealous type -- EVER!!! As for my in-laws, that's an entire different NIGHTMARE! I keep telling myself not to let what others say bother me, but sometimes that is easier said than done!! I do know, that I had this surgery for MYSELF and no one else....I am thrilled....more than thrilled with the results I am seeing every day....I lost 5 lbs in one week and I was so excited!!!! i'm REALLY glad I found this site....you are all so very nice and helpful! Thank you!!! Holly

In-Law's suck... enough said... Congrats on your 5lbs!!! *hugs* Felicia

That's the way we have to think, Felicia. It's the only way to be free! Lisa

you can say that again... Felicia

I am hear to tell you as most of you know I work with my family day in and day out, so it really sucks at times. Everyone knows my situation as it stands today so as much as I love them...they aren't not who I live for and neither is my husband. I LIVE FOR ME!! I DID the SURGERY for ME!! I have never been one to worry about what others think anyway. I don't know how many times a day I hear someone say what will so-so think...who cares. How does it make YOU feel. Holly, I have been told by so many people about my husband getting jealous...well he isn't the jealous type. He knows that I love him and am not looking for a replacement. Just make your husband feel special to you, heck you have been with him for 20 years..its all good. I think the people that get a divorce or have problems after the surgery their marriage wasn't solid to begin with, they were having trouble before the surgery. I have a very supportive husband and I am doing more than when we married 2 years ago. I explained it to him..I am getting out of my rut! If he chooses to go fine and if not fine... I also have to agree with everyone..everyone has excellant points!! We are here for ya...