To Pay or Not to Pay

My office is having a Holiday gathering just before we go out for our winter break. Everyone sat and planned the gathering. The group decided (as they decided for TDay) to have someone else cook some foods for this gathering. The menu will most likely include things like fried chicken, greens, mashed potatoes, and very sweet desserts. I can't eat that stuff. The group agreed to pay $10 each for the food. I don't feel that it is fair for me to pay the entire amount when I can only eat a few bites of whatever they order especially when I will most likely have to bring my own food. At the same time, I don't want to seem like I am not a part of the group by not participating in the financial part of the event. I know $10 is not a lot, but it is the principle. I paid the $15 for the Tday meal, and ate not one bite of it. What do you think? How are you handling these types of situations? Aime

well aime, anyone planning to eat of the spread should pay. some people eat more, others eat less. the joys of being part of a team talk about dilemma's: our menu was 1. springbok capachio with sauce/or deep fried camerbert. 2 roast duck/or grilled salmon 3. then desert chocolate brownies. had a bite of the deep friend camembert (thought i had died and gone to heaven) had a few bites of salmon (allergic to fish) a nibble of the chocolate brownie (need i add anything here) i was agreeable to the menu, and the price ($30), as i am part of the art department. lots of different personalities, and one tries to be 'a team player'

If it were me I would pay. I am not "special" just because I had WLS and can't eat the same as everyone else, therefore I shouldn't be treated as "special" either. To be honest I wouldn't want to stand out that much as "different". I would pay the $10, enjoy the party and chalk it up to Holiday Spirit. They were talking about this on the main board only about a restaurant not allowing the use of those restaurant cards. "I" made the choice to live this way, so I am the ones that has to "pay" the price that comes along with it. Others shouldn't have to change for me nor pick up my slack cuz I am no longer the "same" as everyone else. When it comes down to it though. It doesn't really matter what we would do its what YOU are comfortable doing. If you are comfortable not paying but still participating thing I say do that. Or on the flip side if it would make you uncomfortable not paying but still participating them pay the $10. Best of luck with your decision!! *HUGGLES* Felicia =)

If it were me I would pay. I am not one for embarassment or to bring attention to myself at all. Plus IF there is anything that you can eat on the menu that is there than you might want to try it and if you have not paid then you would be in a dilema. Like someone else said it is all part of being in a group. Plus look at it this way. I am sure in past years I have gotten MORE than my share from a situation like that so making up a little for it is ok Best of luck, Melissa

I guess I am the dissenter here. I would bring my own food and not pay. Most everyone at my job knows I had surgery and there are a lot of things I can't eat. One of the offices I worked with had a catered lunch for Thanksgiving and I opted not to go because there was nothing being served that I could eat. There is someone in another office that has severe food allergies and she didn't go either. It didn't cause a problem. I don't think you should have to pay for food that you are not going to eat. Elizabeth

I wouldn't pay and just bring my own food. You can still participate without having to eat the food they are ordering. However, if the menu was something like grilled chicken or something like that, you can just eat the protein and avoid breads and desserts. You could also remove the skin from the fried chicken and eat the meat. Most of the carbs from that is in the skin and the batter.

I guess I am a dissenter too....I personally wouldn't pay for this particular meal. The money is going toward the food...you wont be eating the food so why should you have to pay for something you won't get to enjoy? This is why I always prefer pot luck parties...everyone brings something. You bring something you know you will be able to enjoy. Once you get to a point where the veggies platter, or meat and cheese tray, or whole wheat crackers and low fat dip would be good for you to partake of, then it would be only right to chip in...just my opinion. Now for advice....I'd take the person in charge of collecting the money aside and tell them how you feel. If you get the inclination that it is an issue then swalloww your pride and pay the money....its not worth the workplace drama.... maybe I shouldnt post at 1 AM....I just confused myself...off to bed!

I tried that once and it was off to the bathroom for me. It could be I just wasn't ready, but it didn't sit well. I guess I am going to pay and eat before I go. Aime

I say do what YOU are comfortable with *hugs* and what YOU want to do. No matter what any of us had to say here either way its still you who will have to live through the party. Best of luck to you!! Let us know how the party goes!! *huggles* Felicia =)

I would pay the $10 and eat whatever portion I was comfortable with and then think back to the times when I paid the price and ate twice my share. This has been one of my hurdles along the way, to change the way I think about getting my money's worth. I cried the first time I went to a buffet and paid $14.95 to eat three bites of cottage cheese. But then I just had to remind myself about the last time I was there and ate 4 platters full of food AND a Belgian waffle. Annette