Yesterday was my one month surgiversary. It was a long year, but yet it went by incredibly fast. What I have learned about myself this past year. I still love food and I still have a tendancy to eat too much, if I am not in strict control. I cannot do "moderation". I must follow a structured diet plan. For me I am either 100% ON plan or 100% OFF, there is no in between. I have come to accept this. I will have to follow a structured diet for the rest of my life. For this reason I fear maintenance. You know, when you loosen the reigns a little bit because you have acheieved you goal. I fear that I will let loose and go hog wild. The first 3.5 months after surgery were hard for me. I hated msyelf for having this surgery and changing myself for life. I came to accept it and am thankful for it. Would I do it again? You BET, in a heartbeat. I love shopping in the "regular" dept. I love fitting into chairs with room to spare. My daughter is benefitting from my still dropping sizes! I started in a 24W pant and now wear 8/10/12 depending on the cut. I also started in a 3x top and now wear mediums and larges and I even have a couple of generously cut smalls. My weight has gone from 265 to 146.6. I was down lower (141ish), but we just returned from a week at Disney World! I feel like I have wasted the last 6 months. I have lost 22.8 pounds in the last 6 months. Some of those pounds I have lost over and over again. Why? Well when summer hit and the weather turned warmer, I found (which is the norm for me) that I wanted to do more spontaneous eating, which means out to eat, movie snacks etc. I feel like I could have been very close to my ultimate goal by now had I stuck to it. But I know what to do, I am back on track and I will get there. I had set the goal to be to 130-125 by Christmas Eve, but I have decided to not put that much pressure on myself. So I am hoping by 18 months out to be at my final goal. I honestly find my body as disgusting and embarrassing now as I did when I was 265 pounds. The skin is not horrible, but to me it is. I don't know if I will ever be able to afford plastics, there are so many other things that are more important. My breasts trouble me the most. I have gone from a 38/40 D to a 34B and that is mostly skin that I pour into the cup. I am still fat on the inside. I will catch a glimpse of myself and be shocked that it is me. They say it takes a couple of years to catch up. WOW this sounds like my life is a downer. That is SO not true. My life is much the same, there is just much less pounds of me in it! I haven't really changed, tho DH says I am meaner! LOL! I am happy! Jenn RNY 10/24/05 265/146.6/145

...is TODAY! I started my journey at 310 lbs. in a 24/26. I am now 141 lbs in sizes 1/2 thru 4/6! I can not believe how far I have come! I feel great, I look great (with the exception of all the skin). I posted pictures on my profile taken last night by my wonderful Husband. Under the One Year Post-op Heading in the Blog Section. ENJOY! ((HUGS)) Erin 310/141/151 10 lbs. BELOW GOAL!

Today is my one year anniversary. At this time last year, I was getting my stuff together and getting ready to head for the hospital. I was absolutely terrified beyond anything I've ever felt in my life. Fast forward to today. I've lost about 170 pounds and feel like a new woman. I exercise regularly and drink lots of fluids. I do not have issues with any foods, so am able to get all my protein from food and do not need to use protein supplements. I'm still "obese" based on my BMI, but my health is vastly improved over last year. In the past year, I've gone on a cruise, canoed in Ketchikan, and ridden a bike down a mountain in Skagway. I've taken a water aerobics class at a public pool and been seen in a regular swimsuit (without a skirt). I've been able to fit in an airplane seat and not need a seatbelt extension. I've enjoyed walking in the park, bopping along to music on my iPod. I've been able to buy clothes in a regular store. I've also discovered how lucky I am to have such great family and friends. Everyone has been supportive of my decision, and they continue to support my day-to-day efforts to maintain the weight loss and to lose more. I'm also lucky to have great support here at OH; the people here understand me in a way that my family and friends cannot, and that's been important to my success. I've been blessed in so many ways and I thank you all for being part of that. I wish us all luck for continued success and health. Kellie Lap RNY 10/25/2005 396/229/165?

WOW! What a hot momma I love that outfit and your hair..how cute is that??!!

Hi Deb~ I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling You're not alone in this. I'm glad to hear that you are going to get help through a therapist. I had to go into counseling myself. This whole thing isn't such an easy process is it? I've struggled with my own demons with this too. I think the therapist will help you get back on track Deb. I can bet he or she will help you put a finger on what is driving you to your behavior. Mine did and what I found out was a bunch of unresolved issues that I would just shove down and try to forget about with food and other bad behaviors. I've noticed that since the surgery, since I can't eat and eat and reach for the "soothing foods" it has made me take a long hard look at myself. I journal alot...ALOT!! This may help you...when you want to reach for that food or drink ask yourself why you're doing it and the reasons may suprise you. I wish you luck and let us know how you're doing. Keep your head up..we are all here for you! Bridgett