I also get mistreated by my mom and my sister. The way I see it is that they are jealous and cant stand to see me happy. this is their loss not mine. I did what I had to do to become healthy. I to still have some weight to lose. but I know I will get there when the time is right Kim

I just saw this in my Prevention newsletter & thought that it was very appropriate for our situations, so I thought I would copy & paste it. Kinda lengthy, but a good read! It pertains to our views on exercise (the other 4 letter word!! ) The reason to engage in the activity formerly known as exercise is not because it's good for your heart or lowers your cholesterol, or because your thighs are dimpled and your arms are droopy. (Most of us already know about the physical and mental benefits of exercise, but this doesn't seem to be enough to tear us away from the television.) The reason is not because you're not good enough the way you are. If you exercise for any of these reasons, your desire will last for a week, a month, maybe even a year. And then you will rebel. No one can tolerate being told they're not good enough for very long. "Sometimes it is necessary / to reteach a thing its loveliness," writes the poet Galway Kinnell. The reason to move is to reteach our bodies their loveliness. We live most of our lives in our minds, but the fact is that we are spirits clothed in flesh and blood and bones. By not moving our bodies, we are depriving ourselves of connecting to that long-ago child who loved running, dancing, and jumping in the sun and air. We've replaced the singular, personal joy of moving outdoors with grin-and-bear-it machine workouts. Yuck. So, what to do? Approach the "E" word with softness, humor, and care. Stop battering, threatening, and torturing yourself. Stop whipping yourself into shape. Understand that taking the misery (and therefore the rebellion) out of exercise is a Major Big Deal because it involves unlearning self-hatred and, as Kinnell suggests, relearning your own loveliness. Now, take a breath and do the following experiment: Say to yourself, Okay, little missy--it's time to whip that butt into shape! Feel the tension in your body when you say those words. Then, notice the difference--how your heart opens and your muscles relax--when you say, Listen, I know you've been trying really hard to have a perfect body. Either that, or you've been beating yourself up for not trying hard enough. How about an alternative to all that crashing and burning? How about starting to appreciate the body you already have? Let the Kid Out Buried under all your skewed beliefs about the "E" word is a little kid who has been cooped up for years and is dying to tear out of the house. She may not be the best athlete or the fastest runner or the first picked for the soccer team, but she can still enjoy feeling the power of her body. In fact, she hungers for it. Imagine you are this kid (because you are). What would you do when your mother finally let you out of the house? Would you walk? Dance? Run? What is it that your body wants to do? This is not necessarily the same as what you would excel at doing. My colleague Francie White, a dietitian whose practice focuses on resolving the causes of emotional eating and exercise resistance, tells people who loathe exercise to stop doing it. When they are truly ready to play, when it doesn't feel like torture or misery to move their bodies, she asks them to commit to the activities (e.g., walking outside, putting on music when no one is home and dancing around the room, inline skating, bicycle riding, trampoline jumping, swimming) they find most pleasurable 5 days a week. For the rest of their lives. I ask my students to do the same. Even after you've rediscovered the joy and power of moving your body, you'll still have to endure a whole lifetime of belief, perpetuated by many in the fitness industry, that pushes you in the direction of exercise-as-suffering, exercise-for-results. So make a firm commitment to dance, skate, or "trampoline" every day. Otherwise, you'll think you're not working hard enough, and you'll believe that true happiness can only come from a culturally perfect body, and because you probably don't have one, you'll doubt your experience. The truth is, moving your body isn't about any goal other than physically connecting with the fundamental pleasure of and gratitude for being alive. The rest is just gravy. Yall know we ALL love Gravy!!!!! hugz, Gina L

Don't let these folks rain on your parade! We may have our issues with food, but they apparently have bigger issues than that. Not wanting you to talk to her husband? Sounds like they have trust issues! Telling you that you looked better bigger? Sounds like jealousy and envy! Please don't allow yourself to become saddled with the emotional baggage of other people, which is what this kind of feedback is about. If people can't be happy for you, then let that be there problem. Do not allow it to become your problem. Please wear those clothes that fit you now. I'm sure you look fantastic! We've all spent so many years hiding behind big, baggy clothes; you don't have to hide any more. Let yourself be free to be the new you, even if you're still figuring out who that's going to be. And remember who you become is your choice, not the choice of those around you. Celebrate your new-found health, your weight loss, your improved ability to be more active, and the fact that you been given a "do over" with your life!!! Focus on the positive things in your life and don't allow the naysayers to get you down. You've done a fantastic job and you should be proud of yourself Kellie

Violet that is great. Of course 80 pounds is a huge amount. Slow and steady always wins the race. Keep up the great work. Jane

for those of you that know about my back problems I am seeing the surgeon tuesday at 4 pm to schedule a full lumbar fusion wish me luck Kim