Question of the Day

Have you found that surgery has changed any of your social relationships? I will go first... I noticed now that certain friends are upset because I am not the "fat" funny one anymore. I am just the funny girl! Also at work the other day one of my co-workers said I think I liked it better before you had surgery and when I asked why she said "because you always had all the good snacks and now you dont". It is weird how me doing something has affected other people. I also have a friend who said to me she wont go out to bars with me anymore because she doesnt get any of the attention. In other ways my social life has changed for the better though, I have more fun going places, I enjoy things other than eating, I dont worry about people at the resturants and bars looking at me like "if she wasnt eating that she wouldnt be so fat" ... So some bads and some excellents but I wouldnt trade my decision to have surgery for the world. Ok your turn... how has this affected your social life, relationships, and how you act in public. Jenn

Hey Jenn, I have noticed a little bit of a change as well. I notice guys looking at me, holding the door for me, stopping at my desk (I'm a receptionist) to chat more. I hate that it ****** me off so much. Don't get me wrong, I love the new found attention, but dang it, I'm the same person I was 5 months ago, there is just less of me! I hate that people are so Obesity Ignorant! I also finding myself looking at a whole different style of clothes than I am used to. I am buying stuff now that my 20 year old daughters can't wait to borrow. I don't think it's because I am trying to look younger or that I'm trying to show off the new me, I think it's because I can wear it now & not feel like a big ole fat girl! This made me think! Good question! Hugz, Gina L 260/184/160 26W/16W

So far, the people who truly care about me have been supportive and our relationships haven't changed. My sister is a very jealous person and I always catch her looking me up and down (I weigh 4 lbs more than her right now, but she doesn't know that yet). Sometimes, she compliments me, but most of the time she just looks. My brother's girlfriend called me a jerk the other day and said I was making everyone else look bad. She was trying to joke about it, but I didn't think she was funny at all. She has made these comments before when I have lost weight, so I was kind of prepared for her reaction. I can't believe the changes I have made inside myself in the past 5 months. I feel like I have come out of my shell. I am more outspoken. More smiley. More flirty. I feel great! Marcia

Hey Jenn I have noticed changes more in my "friends" than with family or co-workers. My best-friend before surgery won't even talk to me anymore. She used to be the skinny one until she got pregnant and gained alot of weight and hasnt been able to lose it, now I am smaller than her and she doesnt like it. I think more of the changes are within myself than anything else. Like Marcia said, more outspoken, smile more, laugh more. Also, one of my co-workers pointed out to me yesterday, I have more pep in my step since losing weight. Everyone other than my friend has been very supportive and are happy for me to lose the weight. Socially, the best part is being able to go out to dinner with my husband and not have to worry if I will be able to fit in the booth or not. Kelli

Since surgery I have been labeled as the food nazi and the *****y moody girl in my house because when i couldnt eat junk anymore I knew I had to get rid of it all or it would tempt me and the youngest daughter here followed suit and is very supportive she is 9 and also over weight so she has learned healthy eating from this also as far as friend they have all been supportive but my mother and sister have not at all kim

Jenn how is the plateau buster going? On the question issue...I find some younger friends...say I can lose weight without doing something drastic...sure...they are 20 years younger? what the heck...most people are good...I feel good...would not have changed this for the world...I do things more easily..hike, bike, walk...stuff I could not do when I was 60 pounds heavier...so we rock... Dennis

I think I'm more confident in public. I have an office-mate at work and she seems to have pulled away from talking to me. She doesn't ask how much weight I've lost or how I'm doing and if I offer info. she just kind of nods, never looking away from her monitor. I was surprised to see her act this way upon my return to work after surgery but I don't let it get to me because I don't want my joy to be affected by her attitude. I don't say anything to her or ask her if something is wrong. I use to always do that with people....as I lose and get older it doesn't matter to me as much. If someone wants to act that way...let them. The good thing is that I have enough people asking me about how I'm doing that her not asking isn't important. I figure it's her problem, no mine. I know I feel so much better when I see someone I haven't seen in a long time. I no longer think about what they must be thinking and how much weight I've gained since I last saw them. Some people that I haven't seen in a while don't say anything so I wonder if it's just not noticeable yet or if they just don't realize it. I've lost 77.5 pounds so far so I figure maybe when I lose the next 73 to goal, they'll notice for sure. Who knows. And, there are the ones who actually pay more attention to me and comment on my continued loss and it makes me feel good. I expect to have a more social life in the future and be more outgoing and seek friendships. I did not do that at my heaviest and didn't seek out social events. That's definately going to change. Fran