My emotional weekend...

Hi Vi, Sorry to hear about your troubles with your sister. I know exactly what you mean about getting sick of the abuse and finally letting go. I have felt this way for a long time but still have not let go. I really can't because the person who has hurt me so much won't talk to me. She always blames me for her troubles and decided that she wasn't going to talk to me anymore. I've been especially fretting over it this weekend but I finally decided I'd go with the old saying...Let go and Let G-d. I hate it when people tell me off and I can't get a chance to tell them how I feel because they won't talk to me. It happens a lot in my family so I just keep a distance. Oh well, I guess we all have our burdens. Talking about stalls. Last week I gained 4 pounds!! Have no idea why because I haven't changed a thing. This week, thank goodness, I lost it and am back where I started before I gained. One week gone and wasted. It seems to be going to slow and everyone seems to be losing more than me. I'm 77.5 down but it seems so slow. I'm trying to just let it go and enjoy my loss and tell myself that it will happen. I'm five months tomorrow so I hope it doesn't slow down even more. Hang in there and follow the plan and you'll do fine....so will I. Try not to fret over your sister. You don't need her negativity. Fran

Hi Fran, I've been gaining and losing the same 4 lbs ALL month!! You are not alone nor are you slow at all! I'm down 83 when that damn 4 lbs stays off, otherwise I'm back to 79! As for my sister, , I let it go already! I told her what I'd wanted to tell her for about 20 years now! It felt good to finally let it out and I'm over it! She can waste her life being miserable, I sleep well at night! I make my 5 months tomorrow too! Don't worry gal, we're far from done!! Hugs, Vi

Vi, I'm sorry you have to deal with this s**t but glad that you stood up and put your sister in her place. Unfortunately, sometimes we have to cut people out of our lives in order to stay healthy and happy. I have a great relationship with all of my sisters, but there was a time when I wasn't sure it would stay that way with one of them. We both have bipolar disorder and she has never done as much as she could to control it. I was in a terrible depression several years ago and could not seem to find a way out of it. My bipolar hadn't yet been diagnosed by anyone but me, so I wasn't receiving the proper treatment. I went to stay with her for my niece's HS graduation. They live about 8 hours away so it was going to be a week long trip. The day after the graduation I was feeling extremely ill and not at all up to a long drive. She and my DH were planning to take my nieces into the city for the day. I told them I couldn't make the trip and my DH completely understood. My sister got very angry and said that I was hurting my husband and letting him down by being so selfish. I was so sick from the new med I was taking that I would've spent the entire drive throwing up. I don't see anything selfish about wanting to avoid that. When they came back she was angry with me for ordering a pizza because they had already eaten. Apparently I was supposed to starve myself as punishment for staying home. We ended up in a screaming match where she was accusing me of not wanting to get better. I had been struggling to find some peace and begging several doctors for a proper diagnosis and the right meds for years. I had sought counseling too. She was the one *****fused to accept her diagnosis or the fact that she needed to be on medication, but she was hurling accusations at me. I walked away to avoid saying something I'd regret and she followed me out the door screaming that I was a coward for refusing to face my problem. My only problem at that moment was her being in my face. My DH told her to back off so we both could calm down. Needless to say, I was ready to pack up and leave right then. We stayed another day or two for the sake of my nieces and then headed home. A few days later she called me and said "if I did anything to hurt you I'm sorry, but I really don't think I did anything wrong" I was so angry I wanted to scream, but I forgave her and left it at that. A couple of months later I found a new doctor who diagnosed me properly but didn't have a clue how to help me. At least I had won half the battle though. A few months after that, I found a new doc who agreed that I am bipolar and literally saved my life. I owe him so much. I also proved to my sister how wrong she had been all along. She discovered that I wasn't trying to stay sick, I just wasn't being helped by the wrong meds and the wrong diagnosis. She had to eat her words, and although it couldn't take away what had happened between us, I still felt better about it. She's the oldest of the four of us and I'm the youngest. She's 12 years older than me and believes that makes her wiser and more mature. This however, is completely untrue. Anyway, I'm sorry to have made this about me. I guess I just wanted you to know you're not alone, even if I did it an a long winded fashion. I hope that you've made peace with your decision,and also that your sister will do some serious growing up. You made the right decision for yourself and that's all that matters right now. By the way, you don't look pale and drawn at all. You look beautiful. Someone told me the other day that I am glowing lately. You are too, from the pics that I've seen. Have a great night. Hugs, Carol

Thanks Carol! I'm glad you got to vent too, I know how good it feels. And yes, I have made my peace. I did what I had to do and now I can move past it and HER! HUGS, Vi P.S. Thanks for the compliments too!!

Hi Sandra, Unfortunately for me, I had to tell a couple of people and the way news travels in my family, it would have been a matter of hours before they all knew, but I didn't care because their opinion no longer matters! Hugs, Vi

Vi...as far as the pound goes...it will go! My wife has a sister that sounds like yours...she being the younger sister has taken the verbal **** for years...finally last October she said hey this is enough....sad but true...they have not talked for about 5 months or the extended family our kids, her kids...family fun, huh? If you get upset and she gets upset...so be it...My wife finally after 60 years of **** said...this is not working...please do your own thing and I will do mine...that was 5 months ago...so the short of it...family can be like a war zone...get out of it...move on...and say you did the best you can...take care and have a wonderful week...hopefully the scales will move...I have been playing with the pounds this month also...down only about 3 pounds...also, I don't think it is true about you have to get the weight off in 6 months or it will stop...I think it will slow down...but it will go...I am giving it a year...take care and keep your beautiful smile...and your beautiful face Dennis

Thanks Dennis! You are a sweetie! You're right though and I need to move on and I am! I have a good life and it saddens me that she can't be a part of it, but she's the one choosing to be miserable. I choose to be happy! Hugs, Vi

Just wanted to say this Dennis, my hubby had RNY on 01/17/05 & he has had plenty of stalls here & there. But in the past month, he is down almost 10 pounds, so it's not over!! He has to work harder at it, but he is still losing inches as well! I don't get it, he lost 10 & I played with the same 3 over & over again! Hugz, Gina L