Thank you all so much!

Thanks everyone for your prayers and good thoughts. My dad was transferred to a different hospital today where they did an angiogram and a TTE. They found fluid built up around his heart. The EEG never caught it because he is too heavy for clear pics. Because of his size, they couldn't drain the fluid with a needle, so this evening he had open heart surgery. The opening is not that big, only about 4 inches under his armpit. They couldn't go in from the front because he has mesh implanted for repeated hernias. As soon as they punctured the pericadial sack, they said the fluid gushed out. They took out almost 2 liters before it stopped draining. They left in 3 drainage tubes and he is sedated into a drug coma and will be kept on a ventilator for 2 days before they wake him up. This will give him a little time to heal. Plus they had to collapse his lung to get to his heart, so if they took him off the vent now, it would be horrible pain-wise. As soon as the fluid drained off his heart, his BP and pulse stabalized and his atrial fiblruations went away. They said it was probably viral, but they are doing biopies just in case it was caused by cancer. The people at the hospital were all great, and we are so relieved he made it through. The cardiothoracic surgeon said that if my dad had even waited a few more days, he could've died from the pressure on his heart. This is just one more reason I'm happy I had this RNY done, because I don't ever want to be so fat that they can't properly diagnose a medical problem for a whole week. If my dad were of a more normal size, he would be home from the hospital right now instead of in a medically induced coma. We are putting him on a very strict diet after he can come home. I'll probably stay until they wake him up, then drive my @SS back to Iowa and pack as fast as I can for Florida. We leave on Tuesday and the earliest I can go home is Monday afternoon. Cuttin' it close. We'll drive back here as soon as we're back from Florida to check on my dad again. thank you all so much for everything. I appriciate your support more than I can even put into words. Sheryl

Hi hon, I'm so glad to hear that things are looking better. Hang in there and try to take it easy though (easier said than done). I'm sure this is a very stressful time for you. HUGS, Vi

Vi, Picture the family in "my big fat greek wedding", then make them Jewish instead, and there you have my family. Loud, obnoxious, opinionated, and best taken in small doses. We are as close knit as you can get, and fight like dogs and cats at the same time. And my Dad is the center of all of that. Stressful doesn't even begin to describe this week. I miss my husband and son so much I physically ache for them. My son talked on the phone with me for an hour. He just turned 4 and I couldn't understand 1/2 of what he said, but he misses me so I just listened and let him talk. His daddy took him sledding today. He got a sled for Christmas (husband is not jewish) and yesterday was the first time it snowed a lot. He spent longer telling me about sledding then that actually spent sledding. God....I can't wait to see him. They woke my Dad up today without even telling us first. They tried to take out the breathing tube, but he's not breathing well enough on his own yet, so it will have to stay in till Monday. He is scared and pissed. He said two things before consenting to surgery. He didn't want to wake up laying flat (he has a phobia), and he didn't want to wake up with a tube down his throat. We explained that 50% wasn't bad, and at least he's alive. Later when we thought he was asleep we told the nurse that when they took the tube out and he got "lubricated" enough he was going to have some "choice" words for us. He just smiled with his eyes closed and nodded. He can't talk cause the tube, but he's writing messages on paper for us. He thinks they will take out the tube tomorrow, but they told us it wont be till Monday. I don't want to be in the room when they tell him. Even hooked up to a ventilator he can be scary! Thanks for the continued support. Sheryl

Oh Sheryl, You just described MY family! Put 'em in a room together and I'm sure you'd be hard pressed to figure out which family's which. They even got in a growling/kvetching/can you top this match at my son's Bar Mitzvah. The Catholic side of the family was very well-behaved, I must add. Cheryl

Cheryl, John's family is southern baptist. His dad is a deacon in their church and his mom is active with the womens club. They are a very nice, quiet, unassuming, proper family. To say they were shocked when he brought home a loud boisterous jewish girl 13 years ago is an understatement. When our parents met for the first time, I wasn't there (I had just had my 1st back surgery), but John said that if they had been outside you could've heard crickets chirping. They have NOTHING in common. Over the years I've grown very close to both his parents and love them very much. They have been amazing this past week and a half. Alex has spent a lot of time with his Nanny (th at's what he calls my MIL) so that John can work and I can be with my Dad. I keep trying to thank them and they shush me and say that's what families do. My parents would do the same for them if they ever needed it. I am truly blessed. And I know what you mean about the kvetching. My bro got married in Aug and the whole extended family was there and I got to spend hours listening to the lastest "sagas" of their lives. When John and I got married it was a jewish ceremony and all the Iowa people who were invited were like "huh?" Over 7 years later and they all still say it was the nicest wedding they've ever been to. It was like a double whammy for them....a chicago wedding and a jewish wedding. I'll say one thing about my "big fat jewish family"....they really know how to throw a party. John's already cringing about what Alex's Bar Mitzvah will cost us. For now we do all the holidays, but eventually he will start Hebrew school and we will start focusing more on the jewish aspect. I want him to be Bar mitzvahed, but then when he's an adult if he changes his mind I think I'll be disappointed, but okay with it. I just want him to believe in God and be a spiritual person and a good man. But John promised me the first 17 years of his life for hebrew school and hebrew high school like I did. There's not a big jewish community in Iowa, but it's there and I want him to be part of it. I used to love Hebrew school, hopefully he will too. Sheryl

Growing up in Jersey City and Paterson, NJ made it a little more accessible to go to Hebrew School than it would be in Iowa, I'd imagine. We live in the middle of the desert, where no synagogues are to be found. I also went to a Jewish elementary and high school; so we have more in common than just our names, although you spell yours sorta funny Robbie, whose father was Southern Baptist, let me take him to temple every Friday night. My father, who became a part of my life when I was 28 was the lay rabbi at his temple. The little desert communities of Southern California have a band of traveling rabbis and the rest of the time the congregation does it themselves. When Rob's father and I divorced, I joined a Jewish Parents Without Partners group and so Robbie was raised Jewish. This is something that makes my mother kvell (swell with pride) He's in the Air Force now and he goes to Jewish "Church" every Friday night and Hebrew School every Sunday. I think that's too cool for words. Joe and I got married in a civil ceremony and then he stepped on a wineglass and broke it. Johnny, my 11-year-old has decided he's Catholic. He wants to go to catechism and be confirmed. This is something that makes my mother "kvetch" (whine and moan). My husband, Joe, comes from a very observant Catholic family. These Catholic people have attended every Jewish "thing" I've ever asked them to come to, including Johnny's naming in the temple. Of course, he was baptized the next week (but don't tell Grandma June ) Of course, I'll go with my family to church - because spirituality is a family thing - not a Jewish or a Catholic thing. God is God, no matter what. The Catholic side of the family is very understanding and tolerant, even though they are very religious. Joe and his sisters went all the way through school in Catholic schools, high schools and even college. None of my sisters married Jews either, but one sister has it exactly the way you did where the kids are being raised Jewish in a Kosher home, one hasn't made a decision yet but she one just got married last year, and then there's me - the schizo. Life is always interesting. There's a mezuzah on our door and a crucifix on the wall. We got it covered. Cheryl

Thank you for letting us know. I am so glad he made it through OK. Is there any chance of him getting WLS in the future? With all this going on, HOW ar YOU? I will keep him and your family in my prayers. Deb

Deb, My Dad has his stomach stapled about 20 years ago and after a few years he started gaining all his weight back. I think the staple line failed. I think it was pretty common for that to happen, that's why they use 3 rows now, and also bypass some intestines. He asked his PCP about it and he said my dad wasn't a good candidate. In the hospital this week they said he's a perfect candidate and it's something we will be exploring for him. Either way, we will make sure he loses weight. He NEVER cooks for himself, so everything he eats will come through my mom and she promised to follow the dietician recommendations to the letter. I'm doing OK. I'm stressed, and my brother and sister are ******g me off at least several times a day, but the phone calls from my husband and son keep me cheered up. Thanks for your prayers. Sheryl

Oh, I'm SO glad he's doing better! And you're right- here's just one more reason to be glad we've all made this decision to be healthy! Have a great time in Florida, you've certainly earned a chance to relax and have some fun after the days you've had lately! Thanks for the update, I'm glad everything is working out!! Rebecca

Thanks for the update. I'm glad things are going better. Take care and you know you always have our support. Keke