~~ DON'T LEAVE SPOUSES & LOVED ONES BEHIND ~~

I WASN'T SURE IF I SHOULD POST THIS, SO I TRIED IT ON THE SC BOARD BECAUSE I KNOW MOST OF THE LADIES THERE PERSONALLY. I FOUND OUT THAT THIS HAS HAPPENED TO SEVERAL LADIES, SO HOPEFULLY THIS WILL BE HELPFUL TO SOMEONE ... I'VE WATCHED THE TALK-SHOW PROGRAMS WITH HUSBANDS & WIVES WHO ARE LEAVING ONE ANOTHER AFTER THE GASTRIC BYPASS SPOUSE HAS LOST WEIGHT. I ALWAYS ASSUMED THAT IT WAS BECAUSE THERE WAS SOMETHING "WRONG" OR MISSING FROM THEIR MARRIAGE PRIOR TO THE SURGERY, SO THE MASSIVE CHANGES IN THE SPOUSE WHO WAS LOSING WEIGHT JUST PUT THE NAIL IN THE COFFIN. BUT, MAYBE MY ASSUMPTIONS WERE A LITTLE TOO CONVENIENT AN ANSWER. I DON'T THINK THERE COULD POSSIBLY BE A MAN MORE SUITED FOR ME AS MY HUSBAND & VISA VERSA. WE MET, & NICK & I HAVE BEEN "STUCK AT THE HIP" EVER SINCE. SO, I WAS COMPLETELY SURPRISED WHEN HE WOKE ME UP BEFORE HE WENT TO WORK THE OTHER MORNING TO TELL ME HIS HEART WAS BREAKING. AS HE RELAYED IT TO ME, HE HAD A VIVID DREAM IN WHICH I HAD LOST MY WEIGHT & AS HE PUT IT, "I WAS EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN I AM TO HIM NOW". I WAS GOING OFF TO COLLEGE OR SOMEWHERE IMPORTANT, BUT ... IN THE DREAM, I TOLD HIM HE COULDN'T COME WITH ME. HE DIDN'T ARGUE, OR BEG, OR FIGHT, OR CHASE AFTER ME OVER MY DECISION TO LEAVE & EXPAND MY LIFE WITHOUT HIM ... HE JUS****CHED ME LEAVE ALL THE WHILE HIS HEART WAS BREAKING. THE DREAM WAS SO "REAL" TO HIM THAT IT HAS STAYED WITH HIM FOR DAYS. HE'S BROUGHT IT UP SEVERAL TIMES &, OF COURSE, I ASSURE HIM THAT HE IS THE ONLY MAN I WANT IN MY LIFE & THAT I COULDN'T IMAGINE LIVING WITHOUT HIM. HE LOVED ME WITHOUT LIMITS WHEN I WAS OBESE, SO HOW COULD I NOT LOVE HIM WHEN I FINALLY LOSE THE WEIGHT & AM HEALTHY & ABLE TO ENJOY A FULLER LIFE WITH HIM? BUT, EVEN THOUGH NOTHING HAS EVER SHAKEN HIS BELIEF IN OUR UNENDING LOVE UP TILL NOW, THIS DREAM HAS SHAKEN HIM DEEPLY. IT WAS SUCH A SURPRISE TO ME ... SOMETHING I NEVER THOUGHT WOULD COME UP ... & YET, PROBABLY VERY NORMAL WHEN YOU TAKE TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT. HE'S WORKING & DOING THE "NORMAL" THINGS OF LIFE WHILE I'M ON THIS FANTASTIC JOURNEY TO A "NEW" ME ... NOT, A NEW "US" (EVEN THOUGH IT WILL WONDERFULLY EFFECT EVERTHING THAT IS "US"). SO, I GET TO EXPERIENCE ALL THESE NEW THINGS THAT I'M ABLE TO DO ... &, SEE & FEEL ALL THESE WONDERFUL CHANGES IN MY BODY & HEALTH, WHILE HE HAS TO GET UP DAILY TO WOR****IL HE'S EXHAUSTED & THEN COME HOME TO HEAR OF MY "ACCOMPLISHMENTS" & CHANGES. I CAN SEE WHERE HE MIGHT FEEL "LEFT BEHIND" EVEN THOUGH I INCLUDE HIM IN EVERYTHING THAT IS GOING ON. SO ... ... MY WORDS OF WISDOM ... GIVE YOUR SPOUSES & LOVED ONES EXTRA SPECIAL GIFTS OF LOVE & APPRECIATION TO ASSURE THEM THAT ALTHOUGH YOU ARE CHANGING, YOUR LOVE FOR THEM IS ONLY GROWING DEEPER WITH EACH POUND YOU LOOSE!

Thank you, thank you thank you! My husband has mentioned in gest about me losing weight and leaving him. I would never dream of it. I know he is my soulmate and that he truly is my angel. That doesn't stop him from worrying about the future and this post just inspired me to give him some extra attention! **HUGGLES** Alicia

Thanks for the advise...you are so right we have to take care of our spouses

Great post! thanks for sharing with all of us! I have been with my hubby Jim for 9 years now and when we met I was a more "normal" weight. Soon after my first pregnancy 8 years ago my thyroid went kaput and then I quickly gained a major amout of weight. It took me 5 years to finally decide that WLS was for me. I have found that since my surgery Jim and I are closer than ever. I really feel I pushed him away for a long time and now that I am able to like myself again its really having a positive affect on our marriage. I wish everyone the best in their relationships! Missy