Children's fears over WLS

tharry
on 9/15/05 2:09 pm - Palmerton, PA
I did post a few days ago but I know it;s busy on this site. My husband (Tony ) is having WLS on Oct 13th by Dr. Hoddinott in PA. My 12 year old has just started asking if his dad was going to die and that he doesn't want him to have it done. I'm scared to but I feel confident in the surgeon and I will do everything to make sure he has a geat support system at home (I'm a nurse). I just feel bad ffor my son who is so scared for his dad? Thanks for listening!!
Jane C.
on 9/15/05 10:34 pm - Florence, KY
I have the same issues. My surgery is 10/17 I have twin daughters who are 7years old. They are scared also but I have tried to let them know I'll be poopy for several days and they each have a job. We have taught them several new jobs to do around the house so they think they are helping mommy out. There biggest fear is I'm not going to be sleeping at home. I've told my husband to spend time with them while I'm in the hospital I have enough family visiting and also I'm in the hospital so I have people taking care of me. Any way I just wanted to let you know I understand what you both are going thru. God Bless and Best of wishes.
LADY D *
on 9/16/05 1:37 am - SUMMERVILLE, SC
BEING 12, YOUR SON IS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW ABOUT RISKS. DON'T TRY TO SUGAR-COAT THE SITUATION, BUT EXPLAIN THE MEDICAL PROBLEMS THAT DAD IS FACING NOW THAT COULD SERIOUSLY HURT HIS HEALTH. DAD SHOULD REASSURE HIM THAT HE IS VERY CONFIDENT WITH HIS SURGEON & THE SURGERY & ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS HIS SON MAY HAVE. HE COULD EMPHASIZE HOW HAPPY HE IS GOING TO BE REGAINING HIS HEALTH & BEING ABLE TO DO SO MUCH MORE PHYSICALLY WITH HIS SON. IF THE HOSPITAL ALLOWS IT, TAKE HIM WITH Y'ALL WHEN YOUR HUSBAND GOES IN FOR SURGERY (IF Y'ALL ARE COMFORTABLE WITH THAT). MY MOMMA WAS SERIOUSLY ILL MOST OF MY LIFE & WHEN I WAS OLDER & TOLD THE TRUTH & NOT TREATED LIKE A BABY, I DID SO MUCH BETTER IN HANDLING SITUATIONS. IT REALLY SHAPED A LOT OF MY PERSONALITY AS TO HOW I HANDLE CRISIS & TREAT OTHERS IN NEED. EVEN NOW, AFTER MOMMA'S STROKES, I'M COMFORTABLE & ABLE & CAN HELP DADDY CARE FOR HER. JANE HAD A WONDERFUL IDEA OF GIVING YOUR SON RESPONSIBILITIES TO HELP DAD WHEN HE COMES HOME. MAYBE THEY CAN PACK DAD'S BAG TOGETHER & DAD CAN ASK HIS SON FOR A PICTURE OF HIM TO PUT NEXT TO HIS BED. HE MIGHT SHOW YOUR SON THE "BEFORE & AFTER" PICTURES HERE ON THIS SITE. THEY HAVE TONS OF THEM THAT ARE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. MAYBE IF HE SEES THAT HIS DAD COULD LOOK GREAT WHEN HE LOSES WEIGHT & REGAINS HIS HEALTH, IT MIGHT HELP TO CALM HIS FEARS. DAD COULD ASK HIS SON TO BE HIS EXERCISE BUDDY AFTER HE RECOUPERATES FROM THE SURGERY. THIS WOULD GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO THAT THEY COULD DO TOGETHER. YOUR REACTION IS IMPORTANT, BUT YOUR HUSBAND'S IS KEY ... IF HE IS OPEN WITH HIS SON, REASSURES HIM & INCLUDES HIM, YOUR SON WILL DO FINE. HOPE THIS HELPS ... GOD BLESS DAWN & NICK
Marie S.
on 9/18/05 9:02 am - Bronx, NY
It will be okay because I am having the same problem with my 6 & 7 year olds, they are worried about me dying and I have sat down with the both of them and I told them that they don't have anything to worry about! I explained to them that I need this operation to have a better and healthier lifestyle! I also told them the reason that I am having this operation is so that I can feel better and I want to be more energetic to chase them around for once. I asked them would they rather see me in pain and suffer, or would they want me to play and run around with them?
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