I have a date: 10/10; but still feeling hesitant

I've got a date scheduled, but throughout this process, I find myself questioning whether this is the right thing to do. And every time I ask myself that question, I think through all the factors that led me to this decision, and I conclude it's the right thing to do. Why do I keep questioning this, why can't I get comfortable with my decision to move forward with WLS? Should I be listening to this voice inside that's saying "Stop! Don't do it! This is too drastic! Be reasonable, don't let them cut your stomach apart." A little about me: highest BMI has been 43 earlier this year; currently at 38. I was motivated to lose weight rapidly because I was diagnosed with diabetes in June; also that's when I found out that the surgeon required a 10% weight loss prior to WLS. I've never had pounds come off so fast before! I'm a two-time lifetime member of Weigh****chers, so I know how to lose weight. What I can't seem to do is maintain weight loss. I struggle with compulsive eating; I'm not a true binge eater, but I can nibble with the best of them, and still eat a full meal at mealtimes. Now I do realize that I'm surrounded here by people who have chosen WLS as the solution to their weight problems, so this is a very biased audience. With that in mind, I'd appreciate responses from individuals who have been down this path and struggled with the kind of uncertainty I'm experiencing. Thanks! Sheryl

Sheryl, Hi I understand your emotions. I feel very excited one day and then scared to death the next. For me I feel that this is the best decision. I have lived this way my entire life and I need help to change. The only advice I can give is to research research research. I spent a lot of time just reading peoples profiles. I hope for find the right decision for you whether it is WLS or not. Keep in touch!!! Sammie

Hi there Sammie, Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm excited about the possibility of having all the good things that a lower BMI can bring: improved health, better energy, fitting into my world more comfortably, less aches in my joints, and all that. You make a good point about research, and I think I've done a goodly amount. I'm trying to be realistic about what this will mean for me, and on the whole, it means good things, but there are some negatives too. You know, now that I think about it, I was the same way when it came to deciding whether or not to have children: I was fully aware of the positives, but also profoundly aware of the negatives that come along with parenting children, and those negatives made me decide not to have kids for quite a few years; I was 38 when my children were born. Do I regret it? No way! And I hope will be the same of this decision. Thanks for your support. Sheryl

Hi Sheryl, Have you possibly considered any other type of WLS? For each person there is a surgery that will "fit" them better than any other surgery out there. Research is key to finding what is truly best for you. I pray that you find the best fit for you and have the peace you need for your decision. Trisha

Sheryl, it is indeed a huge undertaking to do this to our body. It's normal to be nervous, and anxious, and thinking about a zillion things. Although yes, I'm having the surgery soon, and want to be supportive, if you decide it's not for you, you are still OK. I did a consultation with a surgeon in another state a while back, and he said "If you're nervous about the actual surgery, we can take care of that (with pre-op medications for anxiety, etc.). If you're having second thoughts because this may not be right for you, let's wait a while and talk some more." I have lost weight rapidly before, too, and for me, at least, it was truly only temporary. I thought about being able to do it again, and we probably could, but like you, my weight won't STAY off. Maybe the question now is, are you (we) committed to a lifetime permanent change in habits that will start very soon? Maybe you do just need a little more time to think things over...... Is it possible to re-schedule with your surgeon? Could you do a quick check-in with the psychologist? Will your insurance approval be good for 6 months (mine is) so that you can reschedule and not give it up totally? Would you rather go for something reversible, like the Lap Band? Keep up the faith, friend. You're not alone. This just is one thing you'll have to do FOR yourself, but you don't have to do it BY yourself...we'll be here. Write again with more of your thoughts... we'll be listening. Cyn.

Hi Cyndi, Drat, I typed in a whole long reply but somehow didn't do the right thing to post it. Your message really made me think; many of the questions you asked were the same ones I have asked myself over and over again. But every time I work through these questions, I come to the same conclusion: I don't have any other alternative that holds the promise of a successful result. I think everyone probably saves their tough questions for their consult with the surgeon, and here's what I asked: why should I do this, instead of losing weight by dieting and exercising? And his answer was this: because dieting and exercising haven't worked for you before in the long term. This surgery results in a much greater chance of you maintaining a healthy body weight for the rest of your life. I think, Cyndi, that my struggle is more an emotional one than anything, and is, in some part, about my coming to terms with the fact that food will no longer be one of the focal points of my life. I've often said that, if I had followed my true calling, I'd be a professional chef. I am a true epicure. It's hard to consciously walk away from that passion. Not that I can never enjoy food again, but it will be undeniably different. I also think (see my reply to the first post above) that I am overanalyzing things, and I need to have trust in the decision I have made. Thanks again for your insightful and thoughtful response. I'm grateful. Sheryl

ANY TIME I HAVE HAD AN IMPORTANT, MAJOR, LIFE-ALTERING DECISION, I HAVE FOUND THAT IF I DON'T HAVE COMPLETE PEACE ABOUT IT, THEN IT IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME, OR RIGHT DECISION, FOR ME TO GO FORWARD WITH. AS A CHRISTIAN, I TRULY BELIEVE GOD'S DIRECTION IS FOR THE ASKING. SO SHERYL, ASK HIM. TAKE SOME QUIET TIME FOR YOURSELF AWAY FROM THE WORRIES & STRESSES OF EVERYDAY LIFE & PLEAD YOUR CASE. TELL HIM OF YOUR UNCERTAINTY. ASK HIM TO CLOSE ONE DOOR & OPEN ANOTHER ... & TO GIVE YOU COMPLETE PEACE NO MATTER WHICH JOURNEY IS RIGHT FOR YOU. I PROMISE ... WHEN YOU HAVE TRUE INNER PEACE, YOU WILL "KNOW" WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU. GOD BLESS ... DAWN & NICK PS: OUR PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU, MS SHERYL

Hi Dawn, I appreciate your support and agree with your comment that I need to come to terms with this. I think that's why I reached out for help, because I'm not yet totally at peace with this. I am not a person of faith as you are, so the notion of prayer holds perhaps less promise for me. However I think that quiet introspection can yield clarity of thought that cannot be obtained in discussion...so perhaps, each in our own way, we come to the same end result. I appreciate your good wishes and prayers. Sheryl

I ABSOLUTELY AGREE! & I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT YOU WILL COME TO THE RIGHT DECISION FOR YOU & YOUR LIFE! IF YOU WILL PERMIT ME, MS SHERYL, I'LL STAND ON MY FAITH FOR YOU WHILE YOU CONTINUE YOUR JOURNEY TO FIND THE RIGHT ANSWER FOR YOURSELF. THAT WAY, YOU WILL ALWAYS KNOW THAT YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. GOD BLESS DAWN & NICK

Dawn, your faith positively delights me. Makes me think a bit of a time almost four years ago, when I delivered twins 6.5 weeks early, and they had to spend a few weeks in the neonatal intensive care unit. A dear friend of mine, who is LDS, asked my permission to put my children's names in the temple in Salt Lake City (where I lived at the time), so that many people around would pray for them, albeit in a generic way. (Many LDS folks pray for those people who are in need, whose names have been put in the temple.) I was then, and am now, so pleased to know that the prayers and wishes of people whom I don't even know, are backing me and those I love. What wonderful positive energy! Best wishes to you, Sheryl