family problems

has anyone else not liked the person they have become and have others say the same to your face??? my 16 yr old daughter just told me i am a selfish egotistical vane skinny ***** because my clothes got into her laundry somehow my pants did she is almost 6 ft tall and in a 16 and im 5'5 and in a 10 my bf has said to i am very vain and selfish now to and it has caused problems with our relationship we are trying to work through things but man this is tough Kim 276/170/111

Hi Kim, I am going through alot to..........all my family thinks im a skinny sickly person....i have been crying for about 2 weeks now.... i will get to see my doc in oct.....i was so aware that the divorce rate was so ......but who new after having wls that people that love you would turn on you because we have lost weight.......i am so down on my self i dont no what to do.......hubby says i look great but he said that when i was 242lb,my daughter told me she wants her fat mom back!!!!! But you no what sometimes i think back to why i was a good fat mom.........i baked her alot of cookies lol.........and i ate like a pig...............Kim just do the best you can do by her.....we're all that this children have got.......take care of yourself............ vickie

Oh my I'm sorry to hear this. My daughter is only 7, so she really doesn't have an opinion on this, but my MOM says that I'm hurting her, because she thinks I've gone WILD. I've only had my 2nd tatt since this surgery and had my cartalidge pierced in my right ear twice, but she says I'm going through some type of WILD stage, NOT, and that she is worried about me. I'm married have been for 13 yrs now and my hubby loves the way I look and act ( I still act the same as I did at 241, very outgoing), but my MOM for some reason see's this major change in me that I don't. Best of luck Melissa 241/141/135

I believe we all change but the people that are in our environment also change. There not use to a person with such confidence and outgoing attitude now. I know I've gained self-confidence and people can see it. I also notice people watch what I eat what I wear and everything else.....................Love the new you and take care of yourself emotionally and physically. I know it's stressful but this too shall pass. Your daughter is not use to the new you and in time she'll change but don't allow her to disrespect you just because she's going through changes. As for your boyfriend........well he loves the new you but he may be a little insecure because of your change. My son's father calls me more and looks at me more now that I've had surgery, but too bad we broke up before the surgery and there's no way in hell I want to relive that portion of my life. Pray and keep your head up! You know we're here for you! Love ya friend! Keke PS Hope to see you in Vegas in March

Kim, I feel like I'm walking around on egg shells around my sister and close friend. My sister was always the skinny one (even after she gained 40lbs). When I was down last I weighed 10lbs more than she did and clothes that fit her were falling off me. I offered to send her my clothes and she got offended. I just hated that my cute clothes were being wasted. She said I was different and don't understand "fat" people anymore. Oh.. But I do. I still feel like I'm in a fat body and someone played an evil trick on me. The one thing my husband says is ".. don't use your protein as an excuse not to go to x, y, or z. " Argh.. he knows the rules of the pouch and still gets frustrated when I don't want fried or carb loaded foods. Good luck with your family. I think there needs to be more information out there for our families and how they can help and understand the major changes we are facing. Good Night~ Heather 263/162 (STILL)/150

Well my boyfriend dumped me after 3 years he says he just doesnt like who I have become and wants me and my daughter to be out of his house by Friday or he will evict me. My daughter talking to me is still hit or miss. I am busting my ass to show them I am still the same person inside but that I just had a major back surgery august 21 and need to heal so yes I do still lay on the couch when i get sore but he says me making an effort is to little to late. and I now definately now wont be able to goto meet evenry one in march which really sucks cause my birthday is in march. Im also dropping pounds by the day again even though tomorrow is 11 mos to the date of my surgery. I think its from stress because I have no friends or family in this town to help me. Kim 276/170/111

Hi my name is Connie and I'm new to the chat room. I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend but maybe it's for the best if he cant support your decision and the new you he will just hold you back and maybe even make you revert back to your old habits. I truly believe that sometimes with this type of surgery not only do we have to change our eating habits for a lifetime but also other aspects of our lives including relationships. We have all heard the statistics that 80-90% of the relationships fail after gastric bypass although this seems like a large number it does not surprise me because sometimes when you need to make a lifestyle change if your family and friends cant support you you need to decide what is best for you and that may be finding new friends and backing away from the family for awhile until both you and they are better able to deal with the change in not only your appearance but also your personality. Now obviously you cant do this with your daughter but just try and talk to her and remind her of the reasons you did the surgery and how you feel so much better now and need her support and understanding. Good luck with everything and know t hat even though your family is not around to support you their are lots of people who care and wish you the best.