I was pretending I never had the surgery!!

I'm baaack!! I have been pretending I never had the surgery, I avoid the boards, and avoid thinking about it. Why you ask?? because I have been eating like crazy...It's ridiculous....I can eat ANYTHING and I have. I have eaten pizza, icecream, cookies, cake, potato chips, tortillas, KFC, hamburguers, fries, apple pies, chocolates, chocolates & chocolates like crazy. I haven't gained any weight but I haven't lost any either. I started at 224 I now weigh 154.....70 lbs less, and I have 15 lbs to lose to weigh 140 my goal. I am doing all the thing I shouldn't, I have been eating and drinking at the same time, I have not taken all my vitamins, only 3 flintstones a day. I joined 24hr fitness 2 months ago and have gone twice. I am on self destruction mode... I have been having LOTS of problems with Mundo my boyfriend so I think that might have something to do with my emotional eating, so I eat a chocolate bar or 2 or 3 a day. I try not to see the boards because then I feel guilty, but I need to get on track. By the way I am so proud of all of you guys, you are doing awesome, so awesome I don't recognize you anymore...your pictures are so different. I'm not sure who you are anymore. Well NO MORE LYING and hiding my head like an ostrich. I'm coming out of the closet and admiting I am a food addict....HELP!!! any advice? Celia

Celia you arent the only one having problems with the boyfriend mine and I are breaking up I think and that means I need to find a full time job and a home in this area so my daughetr can still go to school here even though I am supose to be off of work yet because of my spinal fusion. Kim

Celia~ Welcome to my world. Summer hit and I decided to spend it eating. I have gained back 3-4 pounds in the last 3.5 months. I was down as low as 149.6 (from 265) and this morning am at 153.8. I just cannot seem to find it in me to STOP THE MADNESS and get back on the correct eating plan. I started taking my vits again yesterday. I KNOW how important it is to take them, yet I don't. I went through risky surgery and I am throwing it all away for what? Junk food that is what. I KNOW I am wasting time. Throwing out precious days before my body gets wise to what I did to it and it becomes harder to lose. I have this problem every summer. It gets warm and I think about spontaneous eating. Amusement parks, the ice cream man, going out the eat on the spur of the moment, the drive in movies and snacks. I go crazy when warm weather hits. Maybe I need to move to Antarctica? The holidays don't get me, summer does. Hang in there. We will both find our way back. We HAVE to. Jenn RNY 10/24/05 265/153.8/145(BMI of 24.9, intial goal)

Twinnie you have been missed...big time...I wrote to your direct e-mail...glad you are back on track...you can do this...by admitting you have a problem is the first step...come on girl...do it...as far as Mundo goes that is a whole other issue...so don't blame the eating on that...get a handle on whatever you have to...you can do this...we are all in the same boat...please take care of yourself... Dennis

Celia~ Well I'm glad that you posted and it's good to see you here again! You've made that first step and admitted you have a problem and now you just need to really focus on yourself and get back on track with things. I, too am a food addict and it's a daily fight for me to get the good nutrition and stay away from the poor food choices (see my previous post) I've done things like hiding and eating food so people can't see me. Chips and chocolate are the absolute worst for me and do I quit buying them?? NO! But..I'm going to try and do better that's all I can do. I know for me at least, writing really helps me out and I notice that when I do write in my journal, I tend to let my emotions get the best of me and I reach for that food...not healthy food but poor choices. It may help you to write in a journal when you feel the need and want to eat those things like the chocolates..etc. I also find that it helps to carry the "before" picture of youself. I do and unfortunately, I didn't have that with me when I went camping last weekend and really fell off the wagon and I didn't have my journal either. I don't know if these suggestions will help you or not? We can do this and get back on track!! If you ever need to talk I'm here for you! Take care and keep your head up Bridgett

Hi Celia, You are not alone. I am battling the same problems too. I can only eat half a candy bar though--any more than that and I get sick. But that doesn't stop me from getting 2 cookies at Subway or having a small dessert. I always seem to find something, somewhere for that craving. But, I don't think there is anything wrong with moderation (a small dessert is fine) but overindulgence is a slippery slope. I've been there. I've been seeing an eating disorder counselor and that has helped me think about my abuse of food as "punishment". Yes, I am a food addict and have to watch myself everyday. I use food as a celebration and as a reminder that I was bad, all in the same day. It's a tough battle, but we didn't come all this way just to eat crap all day again and wonder what happened. Time to dust yourself off and get back on the horse. Don't beat yourself up anymore, just get back on track. Drink more water (hunger is a sign if deydration) and pack healthier snacks. So here's what I do and this advice comes from my nutritionist: I only pack my protein & 100 calorie snack items in my lunch (like the 100 calories chips ahoy bakes) to control my carb portions and I avoid the vending machines like the plague. I am not allowed to go to a vending machine. That's like a crack dealer to me. If I want something like a candy bar, the rule is: I must GO somewhere to get it. In other words, I do not keep junk in my house or buy it at work, I have to physically go to the store or gas station and buy ONLY ONE item. I have to keep the craving long enough to leave work and go get it. Try it?--this has been really effective for me. I've stopped buying large bags of animal crackers thinking that I can just eat a few--I buy the prepackaged snacks so when they are gone from the little bag, I'm done eating. Sounds juvenile, but apparently, I've shown myself that I need the help. Good luck and kudos to you for coming back!! Keep your head up and keep trying. Hugs, -Laura

Honey, I eat anything I want I eat candy, cookies ,ice cream etc but I can't eat it like I used too. My Dr told me this is not a diet diets did not work for us it is changing your eating habits. I feel like eating smaller amounts is doing that for me but I want my goodies too I do not deprive myself in anyway, but like I said I eat alot less now where before I would eat a king size candy bar now I buy one and make it last 3-4 days. Don't beat yourself up over it you know what you need to do for yourself and know you are not alone we are all battleing something. Big Hugs, Marcey 255/147/150

Hey, Celia! Welcome back!!! You're not the only one who has gotten off track. I eat junk food, too and beat myself over the head at the end of the day for it. I have about 15 more pounds to lose so need to get back on the wagon. I'm going to be starting the plateau buster diet tomorrow. Wanna join me? Peggy B.

Hi Sweetie, I've missed seeing your smiling face! Hey none of us are perfect, I've had a lot of the foods you mentioned too, just not in the quantities that I used to be able to eat them, but GONE are the days when I couldn't tolerated a lot of that stuff! I do my best to make smart choices, but I do indulge in a treat on occasion (small) and I am addicted to Starbucks coffees. I'm there two or three times a day sometimes and trying to stick to the lower sugar ones with fat free milk, BUT I think we all have our cross to bear. Unfortunately emotional eating is such a huge part of who we are. I help run a support group and she keeps me grounded. I know that I am going to have to give this part of my life a lot of time and attention so that I can work with the issues that brought me to where I was originally. My life is so good now, I don't ever want to go backwards, my divorce is almost done, I sold my house, I'm moving to a 2 bedroom condo with my boys on Sept. 1st. I'm DATING again and enjoying it for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE! Concentrate on all the positives in your life and fix the ones that aren't!! Big hugs, Vi

me too! I have been crazy these last few months. I seem to eat anything and everything. Good luck and if you find something that works PLEASE let me know. God bless you!! Deb