He says I've failed

My 'friend' (over 500 #s) tells me I've missed the 1 year window by not losing enough weight & not exercising enough. (-144) Still at 226# Maybe he's right. His therapist (who is supposed to know about these things) says we're supposed to get as much off in the 1st year. - I'm worried I've not done enough and now it is too late to get to goal. Sorry to be so down .... I know its partly jealousy and it also accompanied me telling him that maybe he should CONSIDER surgery because he is killing himself with the weight - (he won't because he "loves to eat too much"). I'm afraid there is truth in it? I still wanted to lose another 66 pounds at least. Maybe 15-20 of that is plastic surgery weight loss. That would be another 50 pounds to lose. Regretting not doing enough .... SIGH. 370/226/160?

Just want to paste some info I found on tooter's website that has given me (and I hope you all) encouragement. I hope she doesn't mind me borrowing from her website. For those of you who may not know tooter - she is a member of this site and has lost over 200 pounds. She is an inspiration. She was down further than I am at this point in her journey, however and I'm older by almost 20 years. Of course - we're not supposed to compare our weight loss to other's folks - different bodies - different results. But who doesn't???!!! "You wonder if you'll EVER make goal (you've likely heard about the dreaded window and fear it closed at 18 months - be aware, I continued to lose to goal for 20 to 22 months)." Onward !!! Anybody still there?????

I think you are doing great. Maybe not what you wanted to lose but look at how much you have lost. I say great job!!!!!!

Thanks M.G. - needed that. Got a pleasant surprise today. I tried on a pair of size 14 jeans and they were very comfortable. Must've been 4-6 weeks ago I was able to buy a pair of size 16. Pretty soon its going to be a size 12. In fact, I didn't buy the 14s today because I'm thinking I'll just skip by them into the size 12 - I hope. Onward and upward ! It's not over 'til it's over. (the weight loss - that is). I wouldn't call going from a women's size 32 down to a size 14 a failure !!! Some days can't tell if my 'friend' is a friend or an enemy. Kinda' sad. Maybe he feels the same way.

Wrong - I should've said size 16s today. NOT 14s. Though 14 is coming soon - I hope. btw - don't see many people posting - so am flooding the October '04 board with my own postings !!! Come on in - the water's fine!!!

I would say that 144 lbs is an incredible loss. You are 1/2 the person you were a year ago. Nothing wrong with that!!!! We all lose at a different rate. It is not ethical for a therapist to diagnos a patient they haven't seen. You are probably right on track. You will reach your goal. Although we all want to reach goal as quickly as we can (like 3 days after surgery, LOL), everyone loses at a different rate. I agree you friend is jealous and probably threatened emotionally by your weight loss. All you can do is to take care of yourself. This is not the choice everyone can make and if your friend doesn't feel comfortable considering this surgery then don't talk to him about it.

GIrl, 144 pounds is never a failure. Even if I didnt lose another pound I would be happy. 144 pounds-- repeat that over and over. You are not a failure. You are doing fantastic! It is jealousy coming from him. I get it from my fat family members but I shrug it off. You are doing fine and you will still keep losing for awhile as long as you are still abiding by all the rules. Take care! Christine 275/154 at goal after 8 mos

Each one of us lose weight at a different pace. You have not failed but succeded. I am not where I wanted to be at this stage of the game either but I am still better off now than I was last year. I was very close to the 400# mark when I had my sugergery and I am still waiting to get below the 200# mark but I am still losing. For the first time I have the ability to maintain my current weight or cut back even more and lose more. I will reach my goal but maybe not as fast as I wanted. You have done great, keep up the good work, don't let anyone discourage you in any way. If your friend hasn't had weight loss surgery maybe he will consider it. Keep up the good work.

You have certainly not failed, and that is crap about the one year window.Sure you want to get as much off inthe year, but htere are some out there that have continued to lose as many as 3 years after the surgery. They will stabilize for a few months and then lose , stabilize and lose. I personally passed the 1 year in October and have lost 10 lbs between October and now...so, keep trying, keep up the good work YOU CAN DO IT!!!