long...help!!

Hello all, I don't post much here, but I'm always lurking. Today, I need to post... Here I am....8 days to go to my one year anniversary. I'm happy to report I've lost about 90 pounds. I say about 90 because for the last month I've done nothing but go up and down the same 3 pounds or so. It scares me because that is exactly how I used to be before surgery. I have to admit, I've fallen off the wagon a lot over the last couple months....and it definitely shows! During the week and especially daytime I do really well with my food choices, but some evenings/nights I feel out of control. Weekends are bad for me too...maybe because they are unstructured...no regime like a workday. I've also been really bad with excercising...pretty much nonexistent for the last 3 months. Because of this, there are days I feel like I'm a failure...like I didn't deserve the surgery...especially when I read other peoples profiles who are so strict with their diet and exercise like crazy. The frustrating part is even when I was excercising 4-5 times a week, it didn't seem to make much of a difference as far as how I lost. I don't want to make excuses, but I have been under TONS of stress. I got married in July and have had nothing but problems with my ex-husband lately...to the extent of PPO's and court dates, I know the stress has been draining me, but I need to let go of it and focus on me. I'm nervous about seeing my surgeon next week. He's very nice and all, but I don't want him to be disappointed...I'm already disappointed in myself. I really only want to lose another 20-25 pounds which would put me at about 165-170...which would be great for me. I really don't think I could maintain anything less than that...shoot...lately I've had a hard time maintaining 190...let alone still losing more. I guess I'm looking for some words of encouragement, maybe a kick in the butt. I know what I need to do and I don't want to be disappointed in myself ( a lifelong problem of mine). Anyway...thanks so much for taking the time to read this. ~Stacy 282/193/170

Hello Stacy, I can't believe how much you sound like me. I also have only lost around 90 pounds. I have a very hard time with nights and weekends. Dang the carb cravings!! I've fallen off the wagon so many times my butt is brused from the hard landings. I wish I had been stronger, I wanted to be a lot closer to goal by now. I also got married in July, but it has been 6 very happy years for us. My Ex. no longer bothers me. He is in prison in another state facing 25-40 years. Thats a big stresser off my back. Do you go to a surport group? I go once a month. I am also starting with a new group tomorrow of 12 people who have the same eating disorder I do. I have trouble with binging and once I start It's almost impossable for me to stop. I realy hurt myself at times. I have found that keeping my hands busy helps slow this down. If you crochet or knit take it with you where ever you go. Its hard to hold food in your hands if they are full of yarn and needles. When I go to a party I put a glass of water in one hand and hold my napkin and plate with the other. Makes it real hard to get food to my mouth. LOL These are a couple things my counselor told me to try. Sorry I couldn'd be more help. I wish you the best and Happy Rebirthday, Brokenwing All time high 315. Start of this journey 267. Day of surgery 258/173/135-40

Stacy, this journey can be very frustrating on many different levels. I always try to keep these few things in mind... Even when I'm exercising like crazy, and the weight still isn't coming off, I still always feel better when I do exercise. It's just so good for you. Maybe try fitting it in in the morning before work. If you are like me, If I dont get it done early, I wont get it done at all. Try keeping track of your measurements. They tend to drop even if the weight isnt. You have come a long way, and youre not in any race, so try not to rush things. Try to enjoy the moment and realize all that you have accomplished. You look beautiful! You are youre own worst critic. It's hard not to feel disappointed if you didnt reach a goal you were aiming for by now, but chances are, you are going to be way harder on yourself than your surgeon or anyone else. Just because you're not there yet dosent mean you wont get there eventually. I know that all of this is easier said than done. I probably wrote some of it to remind myself as well. Hang in there girlfriend. You've done an amazing job. My analogy for this surgery is that... You're starting out with a marathon ahead of you. You still have to finish the marathon no matter what, but this time, someone gave you a scooter to help you out. It dosent mean that the marathon isn't still hard, or that you might not fall off of the scooter. But, the scooter is there for you, and it will truly help you when you put it to good use:P

Stacy, Your 90 pound loss is great! Can you image trying to lose that much without WLS? Don't give up now, you have a good 6 months to succesfully lose easily. I know now for me it is dificult to not get into the bad habits that made me obese to begin with, but being one year out, I still have the memory of being 260 pounds. We need to stay strong and recommit to the reason we had surgery to begin with. I need my fellow October WLS pals to help me to stay strong and help me to stay successful at exercise and commitment to staying healthy. I am on Obesity Help everyday to get what I cannot get anywhere else. I wish yu continued success in the months ahead, take care, Janice

Stacy, let me start off by saying you are a beautiful lady. You have come a long way. I for one am not perfect and see myself as a food addict and always will be. Personally I take things one day at a time. If I get off track I try to uderstand why and how I feel afterwards and do better next time. I can not and will not mentally abuse myself for slip ups which led me to were I was a year ago. I have mini goals every day and allowances that I have worked out with my nutritionist. I do the basic as far as water, vitamins, protein first(always) and veggies and fruits. I too have been dealing with the same 2 lbs up and down for the last two months and just the other day I finally lost 2lbs. We still have a good 6 months of a "window" and I have read about people loosing up to 24 months. Don't be disappointed in yourself, just the fact that you made this life altering decission to have WLS makes you a winner! Take it day by day and enjoy the progress you have made so far. I myself have 78lbs. more to loose for my personal goal and pray that one day I will reach my goal. We are not perfect and only humans!!! Continued success>

Thanks so much for your response. You too are beautiful! Everyone's comments have helped me to realize that I need to quit being so hard on myself, 90 lbs is still 90 lbs and I KNOW I NEVER would have accomplished it without the surgery. I am renewing my vow to myself and my goals and I will not give up on this journey...like many people said...it's not over. Thanks again!

I was the same way for about 5 months, and it was because I was not eating right and eating nothing but protein bars in lieu of food. I was told from the start that I was not the average weight for the surgery, so it will be a slower process. It's been a year and I have lost 75 pounds and after maybe 10 more, Dr A told me to stop . I am gaunt looking as I have some skin, but I am down to a 10/12 and I know after a lot of cosmetic, I will be the person that I always wanted to be. Don't give up, after the 8 months, I started dropping agin and continue to do so. I would suggest that you utilize your nutritionist and psycologist to address the other issues that are comprimising your weight loss at this time. Also I found in my first year that the support group is wonderful in giving suggestions and support, especially Middletown post op group. Don't sabotage yourself, get the help that you need and the weight will come off. It appears that you have not addressed the causations why you eat, and stress is a nasty culprit. Hope that you can use some of the suggestions and I wish you the best of luck.. keep us posted. PS: Your Dr. understands and he should have been the first one that you consulted with!