hard time with compliments

I FIND THAT I HAVE A HARD TIME WHEN PEOPLE TELL ME HOW GREAT I LOOK NOW. I KNOW THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO WLS PEOPLE, BUT I DON'T LIKE TO HEAR "WOW YOU LOOK GREAT, HOW MUCH WEIGHT HAVE YOU LOST", I GUESS I FEEL LIKE SAYING I WASN'T BAD LOOKING BEFORE, YES I WAS FAT BUT I LOOKED GOOD THEN. I WAS WONDERING IF ANYONE ELSE FEELS FUNNY WITH THE GOOD COMMENTS PEOPLE MAKE? I REALLY DON'T SEE THE BIG CHANGE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DOES. I STARTED AT 357LBS(HOLY S*&%) NOW I AM 225LBS, I FEEL GREAT AND HEALTHY NO MORE ARTHRITIS PAIN OR ANY OTHER ACHES. I HOPE EVERYONE IS DOING WELL. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU ALL HAVE PROBLEMS WITH THE COMMENTS OR IF I'M THAT STRANGE!!!! THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT. NAN

Hello Nan, I do not have any problems with the compliments, I just smile and say "you are to kind". When a small person compliments me (maybe a size 10 or 12) I say " Thank you, I want to be as small as you" that usually make them blush, lol. Just enjoy the compliments as they will not last all that long. Take care, Janice

Nan At first I got embarrased and did not know what to say. Now my standard answer is "Thank you for noticing. I have lost xx#'s". I don't look at their comments as I looked bad before. It depends on the person if I go into the WLS spiel. Enjoy the journey! Sheryl 334/205/180

Nan, I feel the same way... You know I do not have a clue what to say except thank you with a smile, but on the inside I feel Damb, I don't think I looked a "mess" when I was 319lbs.. I always looked my best, every thing I wore was black shirts, and dark blue fitted jeans.. I wear the same now only they are a 14 soon to 12 jeans.... Its like people say " you have lost weight" Like I do not already know.. Why must people point that out every time they see me (US) a coworker of mine who works at a different site comes once a week to mine and she said last week that I m the hot moma of the org... I felt weird... anyway i wish people would stop already... I do feel very happy , as before I felt i don't know maybe trapped, I wasn't abte to go bike riding and so on as we all here know... I m so thrilled that every thing has gone well. and I hope to be at goal but im not overdoing it... I have never been skinny and dont know if I really want to be, i just want to feel comfortable and i believe that my body will stop loosing when its supposed too. thanks Nan for posting your message, i have been feeling this way too... peace kathleen

Hi Nan, We talked about this at one of our meetings. Someone said that if you answer like--well 50 pounds and 50 more to loose--to somepeople this is a turnoff and they typically won't ask again. And to be honest-we all need the positive reinforcement to keep going. This woman had suggested--Thanks for noticing. Yes I have lost a considerable amount of weight. Keep rooting for me. I know personally When people ask me what size--I answer them (somewhat truthfully) that I'm not really sure--for I haven't been this "small" in many of years--so I don't really know. I hope these help--and it was a great topic at our meeting. Joan

Well I feel the same way you do. I had this one lady tell me oh my have you lost weight and then in the same sentence but boy do you still have a lot to loose. She has actually made this comment twice and infront of other people. It was so inappropriate!!! I tend to shy away from compliments because I feel like if they are all going to end up like this one!!! I guess I have to learn to deal w/ it.

i like getting the compliments it a far cry better than the snickering behind my back. I too get the shy thing going on. Its kinda like when someone says happy birthday i lost count how many times i burted out happy birthday to you too. DUH . Its kinda awkward on one hand im glad all this has not been in vain and i do like the compliments and reinforcement i just find it hard to say THANK YOU because when you get critized about the way you look for soo long its sooo hard to believe that its simply not the case anymore and that people are sincere and they are actually talking about *GASP* YOU. Its a self image thing and like it or lump it you did qualify for bariatric surgery at some point your self esteme had taking a lil to alot of beatin so i guess its natural that we feel a wee bit self concious. Thats my take on it anyways guess ill have to learn to think and truely belive that DAMN I LOOKING GOOD and you would be blind not to notice me bwhahahaha thats alil over kill but you get my jist

THANKS GUYS FOR ALL YOUR HELP. I GUESS I'LL SUCK IT UP AND JUST SAY THANK YOU AND HOPE THAT PEOPLE DON'T ADD THE LITTLE JABS TO THE COMPLIMENT. YOU ARE ALL GREAT TO RESPOND, AGAIN THANKS FOR THE HELP. NAN

I can relate 100%. I guess in time we will be able to accept compliments and just take it for what its worth, but it does make you wonder "was I that bad before?" I also dont see the changes that others see.I know Ive lost but I guess I still have a negative body image of myself. We are our worst critics.