Taking surgery for granted

This is my first visit to this board. This post has been a long time in coming, but I have been too ashamed to actually post it. I think that by writing it all down I have to recognize that I have a problem. I had lap RNY on 10-25-04, two days after my beloved father passed away. I lost my job of 13 years two months ago today - I've been dealing with a LOT. And although I have lost 89 pounds to date, I am stalling more and more. I do not take my supplements. I might get in half my water, counting my herbal tea (5-6 cups a day). I'm not anywhere near getting in my protein. I haven't exercised since January. I am eating Stouffer's casseroles (mostly Escalloped Chicken and Noodles and Tuna Casserole), which are pretty good with protein but lousy with carbs. Ritz Bitz with Peanut Butter are a favorite snack. I am not sleeping well, and need a nap every day to function. My DH has given me everything that I need to do this right - including unwavering support and love. *I am letting him down and it kills me.* I just re-read my profile, which details the h*ll that I went through to have this surgery. Why am I doing this to myself? I don't want to regain, I don't want to fail. I like that my health problems are resolving (although my plantar faciitis is getting worse with every pound lost!) I started a fitday.com account, but quit after three days (although I did stop eating shortbread cookies when I saw the protein/carbs/fat graph). What am I doing to myself physically by not taking the supplements, protein and water? I know logically that I just need to snap out of it and restart. Has anyone else done this before? And how eactly did you do it? I am so ashamed that I am doing this to myself and have to ask for help. Thank you in advance. Kristen

Kristen, I personally have not been perfect when it comes to food. I have however not missed a day of my vitamins. I view these as our lifeline. I just want to let you know that I feel your pain. All can advise is to take it one moment at a time. Set new mini-goals and re-focus. Just do a do-over. It is not a race. Everyday is a learning experience. Don't be ashamed and remember no one is perfect, as far as asking for help that is what we are here for!!!

Hi there let me say you are not alone. I too forget my vitamins. I may have taken 5 since surgery. I dont know why i just keep forgetting. I also didnt take the pill either and have three children yup you guessed it all on the pill. I dont drink 60 oz of water. I drink when im thirsty. I dont get all my protein in. I do try and eat the meat protein first when i eat then the rest. I also have snacks that arent veggies and prolly shouldnt have but i am human. I too have lost 100 lbs nothing to sneeze at. Sooo maybe im not the model patient. BUT LET ME SAY THIS LOUD AND CLEAR. I no longer ge****ery mouth going past macdonalds. I no longer have three servings of dinner. I no longer replace a meal with a chocolate bar chips and a chocolate milk. I no longer look in the mirror and hate myself. I no longer obsess about what i eat. I eat when im hungry i drink when im thirsty and for the most past I feel great. SURE i could do the fitday thing everyday sure i could be counting my protein and carbs and what not BUT i had this surgery to be normal and low and behold food is now something i eat cause i have to not because its there. I know alot wont agree but i feel that i have the bull by the horns and with the exception of the vitamin thing IM doing pretty darn well. Im eating healthier maybe not the healthiest but 100% better than before. Im liking my changing body even though parts are wrinkly but hey thats alright. My hubby is paying more attention to me with the lil cups and feels(guess he approves too) soo its all good. Dont beat yourself up relax your doing awesome if your not the type to obsess about things dont consider that a failure consider it just being you and think of the things that you no longer do that you used to do that was soo bad for you and i bet youll feel like i do....IM NOT DOING THAT BAD AT ALL. kindest regards deborah gale nova scotia canada

Hi Kristen I realized that I was an emotional eater very soon after surgery. I was shocked when I found out that I used food to calm myself down after a hard day at the office, to perk myself up if I was feeling down and to reward myself if I felt that I had done something good. To me food (especially sweets) was my life! When I realized this I had to make myself deal with life without food (sweets) and it was HARD!!! I had to learn to cope with stress and sadness without reverting to food. The first few weeks I made myself turn to other comfort than food and then it got easier and more natural as I went along. Of course this is not perfect I still get times when I completely lose myself in stress, go to the next shop, buy candy, stuff my mouth with it and spit it out because I just can't bring myself to swallow the stuff. I know that this is borderline bulemia and I have to deal with it. What I am saying is that most of us are addicts and we are bound to have ups and downs - despite the surgery. I really fought hard to have this surgery and I will try my best to make it work. Wishing you all the best of luck Don't beat yourself up if you slip once in a while. We are only human Kolla 304/189/140

Kristen, I am guilty too of the same thing. I've stalled, the first time for 4 weeks and this time more like 8 weeks. Pecan Shortbread cookies , even though sugarfree are also my downfall. I just decided to cut them off cold turkey. I had to stop myself yesterday from going to Taco Bell and ordering a mexican pizza. I can never eat the whole thing but just liked the taste. Maybe that is why i've only lost 96 lbs. I even went and bought a treadmill, 2 ellipticals and a home gym before my husband left to Iraq in February. So I would have no excuse not to exercise, RIGHT!!! I've been very bad. I pray every night and thank God for starting me on this wonderous journery, since the day of my surgery. But I really heard myself the other night and wondered how ironic i sounded. Yes i'm blessed to have had the surgery and it be a success, but I wasn't really helping on my part. After realizing that i'm hurting myself more than anything i've decided to get my butt into shape. I've started walking, a fast, mile everyday now on the treadmill. I bought a pilates tape last night, so i'll be starting those today. Hang in there darlin. Remember we can turn things around and achieve everything that we have in mind. Also, when I pray I ask God to give me the strength and will power to overcome the obsticals and hurdles in my way. Here is my email if you would like to keep in touch. [email protected] We can make it. Don't give up and give yourself more credit because you do deserve it. Monice

It is so hard not to fall back into habits that got me obese in the first place. I've noticed that any disruption in my schedule seems to serve as an excuse for me not to exercise as much or to not get in as much water or to snack. UGH! Changing the body was easy, changing my mind is HECK!

Thank you all for your supportive words. I have restarted, and I am taking it hour by hour. So far, so good! Kristen

Hello Kristen, I had surgery three days after you did and you have actually lost more weight than I (81lbs.). My weight loss has slowed down to a very slow process. I do take my supplements daily(liquids) but have not mastered getting in the proteins. I don't like any of the protein bars that I have tried although I am still looking. I have a huge jar of protein powder at home which I have never tried. I have had a gym enrollment since 2003 and have only started to use it during the past few months. The fact is I started and look forward to going at least five days per week. I am determined to continue to lose this weight and conquer this problem of obesity, Lord knows I detest this word. Make your mind up to not give up. Each new day is the beginning of the rest of your life, (to borrow from a proverb), So don't give up. Do as I am doing, set some short term goal for yourself that you write down. Then go from there. I have also reconized the need for a support group, which I am searching for. Stay strong and don't forget your original goals for have the surgery. stay in touch. Bel

Kristen, Hi! Sorry that you're going through a rough time right now; but I promise you, you'll come through it and this too shall past. I'm 50 years old; have had a lot happen to me in my past some good some bad; but I finally realized that no matter what happens you eventually get through it. Most of it is the way you think; negativity will bring negativity. Try to thinking about the good things in your life no matter how small. Its hard but I have faith in you. Life is too short and only you can make you happy. You have been through alot my friend but this will get better. You have not gone through this journey alone and you are not alone; we are here for you. I know what its like to lose a parent, my mom died of cancer many years ago and it was hard. As time has gone by and me getting older, you become to realize what is really important in life which is your family and friends. Things always happen for a reason whether we understand it or not but as time goes by you will see where you were and where you are now! You're in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there, I have faith in you!. Remember, you are the most important thing; then your family and they need you too! Smile, You Are Loved!!! :loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved::loved:

It's funny.. those who are complaining have lost much more than me and have had the surgery after!!! I am not taking my vitimins as I should and am grazing abit, and then I wonder why. I try and stay active, but I am not losing like other folks. Most have lost 80 punds and I have only lost 38 in 7 months. I lost more inches, and to make it worse, I have so much sagging skin, that my back is in constant pain and I have to take a lot of painkillers, regardles of therapy. I would say, get on track and be thankful that you have lost what you have, I am not doing anything, but glad that I am wearing a 12 - 14 pant, but my top is still plus size which makes it hard to find fashion trendy clothes, but I am not iin the plus section, so I am so thankful of that.... Guess that we are all thankful for the some things.. but those that are complaining have lost more than me, had I lost 80 pouns, I woul be under goal and happy!!! Be thankful and Good Luck