Back to reality. please!

Well, its Monday and after the weekend I had, I need to get back to it or I will soon enough become what I was prior to surgery. Bare with my vent. I havent be able to move forward with foods as "normal" In fact, I still eat mostly soft things like tuna, egg, yogurt cheese, and more recently chicken cut up smaller than tuna. Anyway, I have learned this weekend that I can tolerate too much sugar. I ate chocolate, some of my daughters birthday cake, lemon pie, diet pop, potato chips, and probably a few more no no's. Im disgusted by my self. I'll admit, I was an emotion wreck. It was my daughters 7th birthday, some ppl bailed at the last minute, my bf of 12 years moved to London for work and ended up not being able to afford to come here for her birthday. I miss him terribly. As do the kids. I cried most of the weekend, then ate something bad. Mind you, it was all small amounts. (Except the chocolate, I had to own it, I had an entire pouch of mini eggs- like 200 cals, 9g of fat!) Feel free to put me in my place. I cant believe I would blow it so bad. Ive been given such a gift but felt so deprived that I binged. Almost hoping I would dump. In my wls papers, theres a section about how we really have no control over our pouch in the first 6 months. We would lose regardless of what we do. Its when we hit the 6 month mark that we actually have to apply what we know to be successful. I really thought I had a handle on it but this weekend proved different. So, today, I am back at it. Protein first, marking down everything I eat. I think I will even keep an online diary to post around here to keep me honest. Emotional eating was a big one for me. Apparently it still is. Any advice? Debb 285/186/140

Hey, no advice but understanding. I too seem to only be able to eat fooods that can dissolve in my mouth. Its frustrating wanting solids but getting sick every time I try. Tuna, chopped boiled eggs, soup, chili, potatoes, very tender chopped chicken, if not tender it gets stuck. Vey limited foods I can eat. I still can only eat less than a 1/2 cup total per meal. I am guilty of being able to eat fritos, sherbert, and at Easter I too ate mini malted milk balls. I tried the bigger ones but they did make me sick. I can't eat any noodles or bread products. I'm down 82lbs from surgery. Frustrating at times. I crave a juicy hamburger but can't handle the bun or the fat. I have to be very careful about any fat. It makes me throw up. I just keep reminding myself of all the things I can do now that I couldn't 5 months ago. My daughter and I walked alot around a park this weekend and I was able to keep up! I can wear clothes in a size I haven't fit in in over 30 yrs. I fit in a theater seat Saturday! Just keep those reminders going.

Thanks for reminding me about the fritos,lol. looks like we are in a similar eating boat. I think that is part of my problem is that im feeling deprived. I cant actually handle fruit yet, so it doesnt help the sweet urge. Thanks for the reminders. I do feel so much better. I can play with my kids instead of watching them play, I bought size 16 jeans a short time ago and they are already too big. That right there should be motivation enough to stick to it. I guess I just wanted to feel normal and for everyone to stop staring at me because I have 1 chicken wing on my plate and couldnt even fini**** No one really understands, except someone who is going through it. Thank God for this place. Where I live there is 0 support. My surgeon is 7 hours away. I do keep in touch and attend my regular visits. Its just not the same. I did find a weight loss support group but they were rather uneducated on the topic and didnt really take me seriously since I "took the easy way out" I really hate that phase. There is NOTHING easy about throwing up several times a day for 5 months. Nothing easy about eating an ounce of "food" or gagging down the latest shake. Theres nothing easy about what my brain sees in the mirror, regarless of the scale. Sorry for yet another rant, lol Thanks though.

Hi Debb, Sorry, I may sound a bit preachy here! Don't panic, slide backs into our old behavior happen to most of us. As someone is always saying at my support group, the surgery didn't change your brain. What's important now is that you learn to deal with stress and your emotional eating before it becomes a regular problem. For me, this meant seeing a counselor that specialized in these types of issues. The weight loss program that I am with had one associated with the group so you may want to check if your surgical weight loss group does also. Insurance is paying for my visits. What I am finding especially helpful is the coping strategies that she's suggested and keeping a journal. Please don't beat yourself up over having gone astray...it happens...we just have to learn to deal with the issues causing it. On the premise that misery loves company...this has been 2 of the most stressful weeks of my life, I've considered just going to bed and pulling the covers over my head until summer gets here...

I wouldnt call you preachy at all! Your post was wonderful. Something I needed to read. Im currently looking for a local support group but find nothing besides online groups. I do enjoy the online groups but it would be different to meet ppl in my situation. Im keeping a log of what I eat. So far so good today. Like before, the real test is when the kids are in bed and im alone with the TV. I did clear the fridge this morning of anything "bad" so I should be ok. Summer is around the corner. Im sorry you are having a stressful time. I hope you feel better soon. I may just join ya under the covers, lol.

Hi! Debb, We all have our moments when we have cheated some. Be aware of carbonated drinks like sodas or any other types of carbonated fluids. My doctor advised me that these drinks will make your pouch stretch and if your pouch stretches too much you went and had the surgery and went through everything for nothing. It's ok to cheat everyonce in a while just try to restrict that cheating to a minimal. I too can tolerate sugar; however, i do know if I eat too much later on in the day or evening i am miserable so I try to say away from it as much as possible. I keep lots of fruit in the fridge when I get a sweet tooth. Nothing like strawberries, canelope, water melon, etc. to satisfy the urge. I do some times crave chocolate and i allow myself a couple of pieces or 1/4 of a candy bar to satisfy the urges. But I know if i start going off my protocol my doctor gave me I will be right back where I started a year ago at 310 lbs. Remember this is only a tool to help you get the weight off and maintain the weight as long as you follow the rules. This is not the easy way out like most people think. Its hard not being able to eat or drink the foods you once loved to have. But as time goes by you really don't miss them. You find other things that take their place and enjoy it more and you won't regret what you have. Hang in there! You're human and with your family being separated and taking care of daily life difficuties, it hard. We have faith in you to keep up the good work and if you ever just need to talk hey that's what we're here for. Good bless you and yours! ki :: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

Thank you for your post. It really means alot. I cant actually handle fruit yet. I just recently am able to handle a bit of cucumber though and it was much more satisfying then pizza. I hate pizza now. I generally crave the good things but most of what I want, i still cant handle. Like Id love to eat a salad. Heck, a bowl of lettuce, lol. It just doesnt sit well. I havent thrown up in a few weeks now so Im afriad to try new things in fear of it. I try new things at night, after ive met my water and protein needs so that if I do get sick, at least I got in what I needed. I really just need my bf home. The girls want their dad more everyday and it breaks my heart but at the same time, he is doing this for us. So we can have a better life. I think I have a touch of seperation anxiety. Thank you (and everyone) I feel much better and am making a conscience effort to get back in the swing of things. Debb

hi Deb, yuor doing fine and knowing yobu made a mistake is thre fourths of the battle. you may lose a battle here and there but the goal is to win the war. if its a sweet tooth please try some of the items on bariatric eating .coms web site. I have been trying a few things each month. many I just think taste terrible, but now and then I do stumble upon a jewel in the rough. last month I ordered their sugar free caramels. now pre surgery I was a caramel addict so know a good one from a bad one. believe me I figured i was going to be disappointed but WOW! these things are to die for and I can not tell the difference in them from the old pre surgery ones. now true you dont get many of them for what you pay but at one a day they work great for cutting that sweet tooth craving. I tried the brownies but did not like them , and I will be trying the peanut butter cookies this week. but hell if I like none of them Im reordering the caramels and stocking up onthem. so just hang in there and listen to the advice given above. we all slip, for me it has not been sugar but carbs, I still like a few chips with my mexican food, and I do bread just fine< sad isnt it>. hugz. Joe

Thanks, Joe. I am going to start looking for better things online. The selection available where I live is practically non exsistant. The Drs here know nothing. I actually go over to the US for my protein because I cant get an acceptable one here. When I go to my appointments, I stock up on the protein shakes recommended by my dr. right at their pharmacy. They did have these little chocolate bars, 7g protein. I need more of those. I cant do bread well, and Im glad. Just the thought of the doughy-ness is enough to stay away. I did have 1/2 a slice of Atkins multigrain bread with some deli chicken and havarti. It took an hour to eat and just didnt sit right so I doubt Ill do that again. I bet there is some low carb version of the chips you like